Shrimp Mediterranean Crostini

A simple yet flavorful appetizer, this crostini is easy to prepare with little fuss, as long as you have the right ingredients. Start with a baguette and cut it into slices, with the thickness of the bread depending on your own preference. Rough chop artichoke hearts and poach some peeled shrimp until they turn red. Next, chop up some fresh garlic and fresh thyme.

To assemble, brush some olive oil or butter on the baguette slices and place the chopped fresh garlic on top. Season with salt and pepper. Bake the crostinis ever so slightly in the oven to get a little crunch into them. Now, add the cut artichoke hearts and place a cooked shrimp on top of each crostini. Now finish each slice with some crumbled feta cheese, fresh thyme and drizzle with some extra virgin olive oil. They are now done and you have yourself a crostini with some flavorful Mediterranean flavors. Other Mediterranean ingredients that can be added to this crostini include capers and kalamata olives.

Alternatively, all the ingredients you see here can be coarsely blended together with a little butter to bind them together. All you have to do is spoon a good helping of it onto your baked crostini and serve.

Steamed Salmon with Tamarind and Ginger

Tamarind may not be a common cooking ingredient used here in the U.S. but in Asia, tamarind is widely used in many cuisines especially in India and the South-east Asian countries of Thailand, Vietnam, The Philippines and Malaysia. Tamarind is also popular in Africa and Mexico. Among the many dishes that include tamarind as an ingredient are chutneys, curries and even some drinks, desserts and candies. Many of you may not be aware of this but the ever popular Worcestershire sauce contains tamarind as well.

The two parts of the tamarind tree that is of any culinary use is the pulp of the legume-like fruit (see right) and the leaves (used to perfume and flavor soups). Tamarind is known for its tart and sour taste (with a slight hint of sweetness), which is sourced from the ripened fruit and is available commercially in the form of a concentrate or fresh pulp (the seeds are included as well). In both forms, water should be added to obtain the tamarind juice that's commonly used in cooking.

Start off by seasoning the salmon fillet with salt and pepper and place it in a deep casserole dish. For this particular recipe, tamarind juice is added to the casserole, together with sesame oil, fish sauce and ponzu sauce. Ponzu is a Japanese citrus soy sauce and using it here instead of just regular soy sauce adds a little acidity that is just suitable for seafood (in our case, salmon). Usually, when fish sauce is used, soy sauce is not. In Thai cooking, fish sauce is the source of saltiness in dishes, which just negates the use of soy sauce or for that matter, salt. However, here I'm adding ponzu as well just for that extra acidity bite. Cut some ginger slices and arrange them on top of the fish and also in the liquid. I also added some sliced tomatoes and mushrooms to provide extra ingredients to this dish. Now, put the casserole in a steamer pan, close the lid, turn on the heat and let it go for 30 minutes or until the fish is cooked (depending on how thick the fillet is). If you have a thick piece of fish, I suggest you score the meat with a knife so that the middle part of the fish will cook faster. In the meantime, chop up some garlic and sauté until brown. Also, julliene some scallions and soak them in cold water and set aside.

When the fish is cooked, remove the ginger slices, transfer it to a serving dish and pour the yummy liquid over the fish, drenching it with lots of flavor. Now, arrange the tomatoes and mushrooms around the plate and spoon the sautéed garlic over the salmon to provide some crunchy texture. Finally, use the scallions as garnish around the plate and on the salmon itself. And there you have it, a healthy dish of steamed salmon with tamarind and ginger.

The Reel Deal- What Lies... Between.

May is the definitive start of the summer blockbuster season, so my review output lately has ranged from being as positive as Star Trek to being as negative as X-Men Origins: Wolverine- see that, and don't see that. In that order. Fortunately there's still time for a blog where I cover a few films in brief in between your Terminators and your Harry Potters. This post's going to cover Night at the Museum 2, State of Play and Tormented, and as ever, the summer season's chucking a bunch of variety at me, quite literally in the case of Night at the Museum alone...

Reviews, as ever, shall contain minor spoilers, but not so far as to ruin your enjoyment of the films in question if you haven't seen them yet.

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2



Who's in it? Ben Stiller (Tropic Thunder), Amy Adams (Doubt) and Hank Azaria (Run Fat Boy Run)

What's it all about? Reluctant night guard Larry Daley (Stiller) has gone up in the world- having quit his job at the Natural History Museum, he has become a successful inventor of shopping channel knick-knacks, such as glow-in-the-dark flash lights and the like. A routine visit to his old workplace leads him to follow the museum's animated exhibits to the Smithsonian in Washington DC, where they are bound for storage. However, matters are complicated by the machinations of an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh (Azaria), who plans to raise an army of the dead.

Any good? Night at the Museum was a passable family film- the kids I saw the film with seemed to enjoy it, and you can overlook the lack of any real narrative for the fact that it is just a family film. Dick van Dyke was arguably the highlight of the whole film, because it's a delight to see him in anything. But for its flaws, there was still plenty to enjoy about Night at the Museum. That it made over half a billion dollars worldwide is probably the main reason why we've got this slightly unnecessary sequel. Where Night at the Museum wasn't a particularly funny comedy, this sequel does have better gags, but apparently at the expense of Dick van Dyke! Umm make me mad!

In his place, a plethora of actors are trotted out for random scenes across the film's 100 minute length. This might not be so bad, except the director seems to have given free rein to the comedy stars involved, and so there are a couple of desperately unfunny and drawn out conversations between Ben Stiller and whosoever is doing their cameo bit at that point. Was Ricky Gervais' return for this sequel so essential? It smacks of that old "the whole gang's back" syndrome that sequels seem to suffer. Except, as I've said already, the whole gang ISN'T back, because they didn't get Dick van Dyke, who I'd much rather have watched doing a cameo than the completely random George Foreman appearance in the first five minutes.

One cast-member worthy of note here is Amy Adams, who plays gutsy female pilot Amelia Earhart with all the same charm that made her so watchable as the delusional cartoon princess turned real in Enchanted. It's between that film and this one that I proclaim that Adams is a terrific actress who I'll watch in more or less anything. And it's not just because of how well she fills out Earhart's jodhpurs- an added bonus to keep the inevitably disinterested dads awake, I presume. Also stealing scenes wherever they can are Bill Hader and Steve Coogan, who are both inevitably underused amongst the throng of performers crammed into the film. Furthermore, Hank Azaria, who's made his name doing lots and lots of voices on The Simpsons and thus turns his voice talents to statues of Abraham Lincoln and Rodin's Thinker, also has a whale of a time playing the film's villain for laughs. Actual laughs, as opposed to those the oddly neutered Gervais seems to be chasing to no avail.

As for Stiller, he's more or less on auto-pilot, as he is most of the time, to be fair. It always seems like he's playing one of two characters, be it the vain, egotistical tit wit (see Dodgeball) or the schlubby everyman (see both Night at the Museum films). I'm still hoping that Stiller will surprise me sometime soon by doing a third character- it'll be akin to the end of Zoolander, where he turns left for the first time, to the awe of all around him. So while the cast aren't poor and I certainly don't have any objection to films like this, there's something instantly forgettable about the whole thing. And worse, this is one of those films that abandons its own established rules for the sake of a set piece. This is bad mostly because if I complain about such things, I get the "it's not real, Mark" treatment. Sorry, but that's rubbish- It would be spiteful to explain exactly how the rules are flouted, and by extension spoil the ending, but I always seem to end up annoyed by this kind of thing after seeing a film from 20th Century Fox. Curse you, Tom Rothman!

While Night at the Museum 2 isn't actually outright bad, it's disposable and mediocre, which is worse in some ways, given the potential of the concept and the general talent of the cast. It exists purely to capitalise on the success of the first film, and I don't think anyone left that one with any great desire to see how the story continued.


(this is effectively Fox's very own rating this summer...)

STATE OF PLAY



Who's in it? Russell Crowe (Body of Lies), Ben Affleck (He's Just Not That Into You) and Rachel McAdams (Red Eye)

What's it all about? A promising member of the House of Representatives, Stephen Collins (Affleck), is embroiled in scandal when a young researcher seemingly commits suicide- the two of them were having an affair. Collins' old friend, Cal McAffrey (Crowe), is a journalist who is subsequently assigned to the story, which turns out to run deeper than he ever expected.

Any good? The abiding image I associate with this film is a mental one that was provided by an interview with David Morrissey, one of the stars of the original BBC television series this film was based on. He said he was wary of going to see the film because it was like "being invited to the wedding of an ex-girlfriend you're still in love with, and you wonder whether or not you should go." Having watched all six hours of the much acclaimed TV serial in two sittings earlier this year, I had a similar amount of trepidation about seeing this Hollywood adaptation of State of Play. I'm not going to base the whole review on a comparison of this film to the original, because they're two different mediums and both have their strengths and weaknesses. One of the key strengths here is that it picks up the pace considerably, but it's at the expense of any major character developments.

The trouble with the plot being so driven and focused is that we only really focus on Russell Crowe's rendition of Cal McAffrey. While I wouldn't go so far as to call Crowe overrated, I'd point out that the film seems to have missed the fact that the large cast of characters State of Play introduces and has circulating around in the plot demands something of an ensemble piece. Instead, the film is largely focused on Russell Crowe. Presumably because he's Russell Crowe. And all around him, the other characters are less able to make an impression, particularly Ben Affleck. If David Morrissey is still standing around outside his cinematic chapel, he can rest assured that Affleck isn't quite up to the role of Stephen Collins. Again, I have nothing against Affleck as an actor, but the film seems to go to great lengths to distance the audience from Collins, even though certain parts of the plot require us to feel close to him. This may be a directorial decision, but in any case, Affleck's performance is unremarkable.

Others suffering from marginalised roles include Helen Mirren's newspaper editor, who seems to have changed gender (from being Bill Nighy) in the translation to film, apparently for little other reason than to cast Helen Mirren. She's not bad, but all she really does is spout British colloquial swears and occasionally sum up the plot thus far in unwieldy exposition dumps. Rachel McAdams doesn't buck expectations, and is as sprightly and lovely as she's always required to be, and the only standout performance amongst the supporting cast is Jason Bateman. He's as smarmy, self-interested and foppish as the character demands in a great role that amounts to no more than a cameo in this more streamlined adaptation. The bare bones of what made the series so good remain, and that's the story. The film's ending is faithful to that of the series, though the performances deflate it from the tour de force it originally was to the bog-standard twist ending.

That's not to say State of Play is without merit- enough for me to get past the initial feeling that it was slightly unnecessary, as most US adaptations of UK series tend to be (see the abominable and quite astonishingly literal ending to their version of Life on Mars, for instance) and it's a rather engaging thriller on its own. You might prefer the series if you watch both, but for "a film about Russell Crowe", it's a slick whodunnit that's not afraid to make departures from the source material.



TORMENTED



Who's in it? Alex Pettyfer (Stormbreaker), April Pearson (TV's Skins) and Tuppence Middleton (TV's Bones)

What's it all about? The suicide of a bullied teenager is of little concern to the classmates (Pettyfer and Pearson) who seemingly drove him to it, until they start to get threatening text messages from his phone. The school's strait-laced head girl, Justine (Middleton), investigates further as Darren Mullet rises from the grave to exact revenge on his tormentors.

Any good? In the post-Skins media, anyone who's seen one of those excruciatingly misrepresented trailers thinks the show promotes drugs and drink and generally portrays teenagers accurately. Neither of the above charges are true, so if you're a Mail reader, this revelation will naturally have rocked your world. The Inbetweeners is a much more natural portrait of teenagers today, so go and take a look at that. But getting back on topic, I couldn't help but wondering if those trailers were the first thing discussed at the tone meetings for Tormented. The characters are quite ridiculous caricatures, and so Alex Pettyfer and April Pearson play utterly hideous human beings and seem to have quite a bit of fun with it too.

Anyone taking Tormented seriously as a horror film should take a look at the previous sentence and divine the key phrase "quite a bit of fun". The by-the-numbers slasher flick tone with which the story is approached means it's not going to scare you silly, nor are the jokes peppered throughout the film. It's not an outright comedy of course, as that would be obscene with the subject matter of teen suicide that it covers. Instead, we see the somehow resurrected Darren Mullet (never really explained how he's risen, though it's implied his inhaler is involved), dispatching his tormentors with an often amusing poetic justice- this includes such inventive M.Os as wedgying, towel flicking and the extremities of music volume, all applied with gruesome detail by the filmmakers. Grounding it all is the likable Tuppence Middleton as our main heroine, who doesn't realise until later that no-one in her school is without fault for Mullet's suicide. Her performance, along with all of the more antagonistic ones, is enjoyable and promises a bright future in films. Most of the cast have come from TV roles and they acquit themselves well here.

Tormented is, at the end of the day, an American teen slasher flick transplanted to the setting of Skins. As a fan of Skins (or the early series anyway), I wouldn't equate the caricatured meanies in this film to the more rounded characters in that show, but that didn't obstruct my enjoyment of this horror comedy. Its anti-bullying message is unlikely to change lives, but it does lend the film some poignancy without turning it into the likes of the more po-faced high-school horrors to come out of Hollywood in recent years.



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The next review up will be the rather excellent Drag Me to Hell, which gets a post all to itself, and thereafter, you can probably expect the best (or worst) of the rest that I've seen in cinemas. Assuming of course I see anything else before Wednesday's release of Terminator Salvation.

Until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch,
Mark

Creamy Lobster on Puff Pastry

In the early 19th century, before the commercialization of lobster gathering, these succulent crustaceans were considered poor man's food, plentiful and easily available (they would wash on shore by the hundreds and harvested from tide pools). Lobsters were gathered by poor families and fed to servants by their colonial masters. However, by the mid-1800's, lobsters slowly became highly prized and sought after by the masses, with commercial lobstering going into full swing along the coast of Maine. As expected, overfishing of lobsters soon became a big problem and only after strict conservation laws were enacted to protect the industry that the species became sustainable again.

Lobsters are usually cooked either by steaming or boiling. Unless you have steaming pans readily available, boiling is the easiest method to use. Using a stockpot, first bring the water to a rolling boil and then add the lobster, submerging it entirely. Let it boil for 15-20 minutes and the lobster should be cooked. Remove the lobster from the pot and stick it in ice cold water for about 15 minutes so that the lobster would not continue cooking and become rubbery. Shucking lobsters take practice and after shucking literally 100's of lobsters on my job, I was able to shuck the two that I have here in under 3 minutes. I then used the discarded lobster bodies to make lobster stock, using the same pot of water that was used to boil them. This way, you make full use of every part of the lobster and the stock is something that I can use to make Newburg sauce or even lobster bisque in the coming days. Set the shucked lobster meat aside in the refrigerator for now.

To make the creamy sauce, you need butter, heavy cream or half and half, flour as a thickening agent, shredded parmesan cheese, dry sherry, frozen peas, diced red bell pepper, diced shallots (or onions), diced carrot, diced potato, celery, mushrooms and salt and pepper to taste. First, melt the butter in a sauce pan and then add the shallot and all the vegetables and cook until they become soft. Add the flour (same amount as the butter, if 4 oz. of butter, then add 4 oz. of flour) and cook for a couple of minutes. Next, add the sherry and then the cream or milk. Cook until the sauce thickens. Finally add the lobster meat and parmesan cheese and cook for just 2-3 minutes until the cheese melts. You are almost there.

For the puff pastry, it is as easy as going to your local supermarket and buying a box of puff pastry sheets. Cut them in any size or shape that you want and just bake them in the oven at 450F for about 20 minutes or until the shells become golden brown. Now arrange the puff pastry on a plate and pour the creamy lobster sauce over it. To make the presentation look better, gather the big chunks of lobster meat and place them on top of the puff pastry, highlighting the main ingredient. Top it all off with a sprig of parsley and there you have it, Creamy Lobster on Puff Pastry.

Egg Noodles with Fried Wontons, BBQ Pork & Stir-Fried Baby Bak Choy

In South-East Asia, mainly Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore and the Philippines, street food vendors or better known as hawkers are major purveyors of some of the best-tasting food in those countries. Forget about your 5-star hotels with their high-end restaurants. If you are searching for some of the most delicious food, you need to leave your hotel, go down into the streets and sit with the locals. Experience the myriad aromatic smells of the various types of spices, the almost unbearable humidity and best of all, eat food that would make your taste buds jump into overdrive. Fans of the Travel Channel's food shows, Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations would know what I mean.

One of the more popular street food in Malaysia is Wonton Noodles or sometimes also known locally by its nickname, "tok-tok mee." "Mee" in the local language means noodles and "tok-tok" is actually the sound that the hawker makes by hitting two small pieces of bamboo together to attract customers. So, as you can imagine, like Pavlov's dog, whenever I hear that distinct clanging sound, my mouth starts salivating!

This dish has several components to it and is really not as hard to make, just time consuming. They include the fried wontons, the BBQ pork, the baby bak choy and the noodles. All the ingredients used here should be readily available at your local Asian grocery store. They include yellow egg noodles, wonton wrappers, sweet soy sauce, sesame oil and hoisin sauce.

The filling for the wonton is made up of pork, shrimp, carrots, onions, garlic, soy sauce and pepper. Puree all these ingredients in a blender and place a tiny dollop in the middle of the wonton wrapper. These wrappers come in two shapes, round and square and either one is fine. Fold all sides into the middle and pinch them together. If they don't stay closed, wet a finger with water and moisten the tips and press them together again. Repeat for however many wontons you wish to make. Heat up a pot of oil and start deep-frying them until golden brown and then set them aside to cool down.

Next, let's work on the BBQ pork. First, marinate the pork fillets in the sweet soy sauce, 5-spice powder, pepper and set aside for an hour or so. Get a pan hot and pan roast the fillets until done. Finish it up by glazing the pork with honey to get the sweet BBQ flavor.

Now, let's move on to the baby bak choy. Stir-frying it is easy. Get a pan hot with some oil. Sautee some garlic and shallots until they start to turn slightly brown, then add the baby bak choy together with a little oyster sauce. Cover the pan with a lid a a couple of minutes and the vegetable is done.

Finally, the egg noodles. Get a pot of water boiling and place the still-crunchy noodles in the pot to rehydrate and soften. When it is not crunchy anymore, toss it with some sweet soy sauce, hoisin sauce and sesame oil.

Now, you are ready to assemble this dish. Arrange everything on the plate and drizzle some sesame oil on the bak choy. Also, shake some black pepper onto all the components on the plate and finally, garnish wtih some julienned scallions. And there you have, a delicious meal that is sure to wow your guests or even your own spouse!

Honeydew with Tapioca Pearls in Sweetened Coconut Milk

A very refreshing after-dinner dessert, this concoction is a popular South-East Asian favorite, patented after the Taiwanese bubble tea craze of the 80's. The one ingredient that many may not be familiar with is the tapioca pearl, the tiny ball-like jelly that you see in the photo. As the name suggests, these tiny pearls are made from the root vegetable, tapioca. It can also be known by its other South American names like yuca or cassava. The best thing about tapioca is that it is gluten-free and is sometimes used as a thickening agent. Commercially, processed tapioca can normally be found as tiny balls or pearls but is also available as larger-sized pearls as well.

Before using these pearls, soak them in water for an hour or so. Bring a pot of water to boil and turn down the heat to a simmer. Now add the pearls to the pot and start stirring gently. Immediately, you should see those white-colored pearls turn opaque and later on, translucent. As soon as those pearls become translucent, they are done. Pour them onto a sieve and run cold water over it to remove the starch. The end result should be tiny translucent balls that are ready for consumption.

Now, prepare the coconut milk by heating it up together with some water, sugar and a pinch of salt. When you get it to your desired sweetness, turn off the heat and cool it down in the fridge. Next, cut your honeydew melon into cubes and refrigerate. When all the ingredients are sufficiently cooled down, you can now assemble them. Start with the honeydew and then add the tapioca pearls. Finally, top it off a couple of good scoops of that sweet coconut milk. You can also replace the honeydew with any other kinds of fruit like mango or cantaloupe. You can even use flavored jello if you want. If you are so inclined, add a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top to make it even yummier! Go crazy!

Hainanese Chicken Rice

Growing up in Malaysia, specifically the island state of Penang which is renowned for it hawker or street food, this dish is truly comfort food for me. As anyone can attest to, their Mom makes the best comfort food, and this dish tastes best when prepared by my own mother.

Originating from Hainan province in China, this dish was brought to the Straits Settlements by Chinese immigrants back in the 19th to early 20th century. The Straits Settlements comprised of South-East Asian port cities like Penang, Malacca and Singapore, which are located along the Straits of Malacca, a narrow strait dividing the Indonesian island of Sumatra and the Malay peninsula (Malaysia).

The secret to this dish is the oil extracted from the chicken when boiled. Start with a whole bird and boil it in a pot together with a mirepoix (French cooking technique of adding celery, onions and carrots to make stock). Before that, cut the piece of fat that is usually hanging off the cavity end of the chicken. It will be used to flavor the rice. To get the best result, slow boil the chicken for approximately 2 - 3 hours to extract the most flavor out of the chicken and vegetables. Remove the whole chicken and continue boiling the stock and reduce it by a third so as to concentrate the flavors.

Next, prepare the rice by soaking in water for a hour or so. Drain it and oil a pan with the chicken fat that was obtained earlier together with some sesame oil and chopped garlic. Now toast the rice in the pan for a few minutes and transfer it to a rice cooker. In replacement of water, use the chicken stock to cook the rice.

For the sauce, start with the chicken stock, add soy sauce and sesame oil and heat it up until it simmers. Now, cut up the whole chicken into manageable pieces and place it on a plate. Pour the sauce you've just prepared over it and sprinkle the top with sliced scallions and ginger. As a condiment, puree some red chili peppers and ginger, then add lime juice and sugar. Scoop the rice and you have yourself an authentic Malaysian/Singaporean favorite, the Hainanese Chicken Rice.

Vampires- Why Do They Suck Lately?

Let's for the sake of an intro assume that you have never heard of a vampire. A vampire is an undead being who survives by drinking the blood of the living. They're imbued with natural charm and good looks so as to lure in their victims, they're generally pale and have sharp fangs. Vulnerable to religiously symbolic items, sunlight, stakes through the heart, and for some reason, garlic.

Apparently, the most elaborate way of identifying them in the olden days was by sending a virgin boy riding on a virgin horse through a graveyard and watch the horse throw up when it trots by the grave. Not a genius ritual, and given the mess of horse vomit to clean up thereafter, I'd suggest looking for the other symptoms I listed instead. The modern vampire myth was born generally of Bram Stoker's 1897 novel, Dracula, and there have been countless films, television series and books featuring these creatures of the night ever since.

HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH A PREMISE LIKE THAT?!

I'll tell you how! By generally beating the shit out of the idea over the course of so many years that vampires just aren't cool anymore. Most of these producers that claim to have a visionary new outlook on the vampire myth are talking out of their arse. What's prompted this rant is the particularly frequent shitting upon the idea from a great height recently, and also the over-powering urge to have a rant about one of the biggest afflictions upon teenage culture in the 21st century.

Yes, of course, I refer to Twilight. Or The Twilight Saga, as the probably-not-very-popular-when-she-was-at-high-school Stephanie Meyer and the profiteering Summit Entertainment would have it. Again, for those unfamiliar, here is Bullshit 101. Twilight is the story of a vampire's relationship with a human girl in a small town in America. Said vampire, Edward Cullen, is... well, he's supposed to be a perfect character. Converted at the age of 17, he's going through high school over and over again for no real reason other than to be admired by the female populace from afar, given how he's decided to abstain from drinking human blood. The latter is used as a metaphor for sexual abstinence, which brings some tension to the relationship he starts with Bella Swan (the biggest Mary-Sue in recorded history), who has all the charisma and sympathy value of a baked potato.

There have been four books to date, the first of which, if the film is anything to go by, centres largely around Edward and Bella getting together. Indeed, besides a few mentions of how repressed and lonely Edward's been until he decided he liked the smell of Bella, (not a joke, this is really why he likes her) they don't really play on the vampire angle until the end of the film when some obligatory baddies come in, apparently from nowhere. And teenage girls love this shit. They lap it up.

So yeah, that's a quick summation of my thoughts on the story and general approach, but let's have a look at how Stephanie Meyer has fucked up vampires. First and foremost, vampires stay out of the sunlight for a different reason in this story. Rather than being scorched alive because the sun is emblematic of holiness or whatever, a scene midway through Twilight reveals that the skin of vampires apparently sparkles when exposed to sunlight. Wait, WHAT? That's the lamest thing I've ever heard, and I've heard some DOOZIES in my time. Secondly, Edward is apparently more human on the virtue of his being a "vegetarian". Oh, he and his family still drink blood, but only from animals. Sorry, but that still makes you an undead parasite. Very anthropocentric- I'm at least reassured that the "I'm a vegan and if you're ok with that, I'll argue with you anyway" caste of teenage girls probably don't like that about this series, even though they seem to make up the target audience.

Finally, with Bella being as apparently perfect as Edward- see how she's instantly loved by everyone at her new school, contravening every social convention in existence- I'm still halfway convinced that vampires were just shoehorned into Meyer's masturbatory sub-Mills and Boon story just to make it interesting. Instead, it just made vampires boring. The success of Twilight means it's likely we'll see vampires being characterised the same in future films, because it's a formula that's proven to make big bucks at the box office. And sadly the sequel is due in November this year, and the third in July 2010, having hastily had a "The Twilight Saga" label slapped on as a prefix to their titles to cash in. The cash cow will hopefully be put down in a few years, or perhaps "sucked dry" would be a more appropriate metaphor, because this series does suck.

As much as I've laboured to make a point about the contradictory nature of Edward as a vampire who doesn't feast on humans, it brings me nicely to Being Human, an absolutely brilliant series aired by BBC Three earlier this year about the lives of three housemates in Bristol- a werewolf who's actually quite nerdy and mild-mannered for 27 days of the month, a ghost who's pining after her still-living fiancee and perhaps most importantly to this post, a vampire who's abstaining from blood-drinking. All blood-drinking.

Yes, it wears him down to the level where he's perhaps not as able to do all the usual things that come with super-vampire powers, but he's fine with that. And more importantly, the show always portrays vampires, even our protagonist Mitchell, as parasites. Although Mitchell is possessed of the natural charm and good looks that enable vampires to capture their prey, the weaning off blood is very much a parallel with trying to get off drugs. It's odd how Mitchell's sex life being strangulated due to his fear of relapsing is a far more accurate representation of how a teenager would feel about such abstinence than Edward Cullen is, given how the latter is in fact, teenaged.

Elsewhere, the head of the vampires is Herrick, a pudgy-looking and, on the surface, quite friendly police officer. The first episode finds him doing magic tricks for elderly hospital patients, of all things. But underneath all that, he has that really creepy lord of all darkness thing going on. It's a wonderful use of the mundane being made scary, and that's what makes Herrick so effective as a character- the contrast between someone like that being head vampire, and between someone like Bill Nighy's Victor in the Underworld films. The first series' arc saw Herrick co-ordinating a world vampire revolution, from Bristol of all places, and trying to bring Mitchell back over to the side he's been on for about 90 years. Herrick makes one of the most menacing and brilliant villains on telly in a long time, and he dominates every scene he's in.

I do feel bad for covering Being Human in an blog about vampires because it means I'm naturally going to neglect the representation of werewolves and ghosts, both of which are also done splendidly by writer Toby Whithouse. But if you feel I haven't quite explained what's so good about it, just go and watch it on DVD or Blu-ray! Thank me later! The series is one I would recommend to absolutely any vampire fan seeking an antidote to Twilight, but just to sweeten the deal, there's one other recent film I saw after I had the idea for this blog, but a film that is absolutely essential to mention now that I have seen it.

I refer of course to the Swedish vampire film, Låt den rätte komma in (Let the Right One In). You can forget your Twilight, your Underworld and your Count von Count. This film has one of the best screen vampires I've ever seen and she's a twelve year old girl. This is Eli, the new next door neighbour of a bullied and subdued young boy called Oskar. He's oddly enamoured of this peculiar young girl who he only sees at night, in the play area outside their housing estate, and it's through her that he finds revenge on his tormentors. Behind closed doors however, Håkan, the man who everyone believes to be Eli's father, is actually her very own Renfield- he protects Eli's secret by going out and murdering young men. Draining them of their blood for Eli to drink, he facilitates her survival out of utter devotion to her.

THE NEXT PARAGRAPH FEATURES MAJOR SPOILERS FOR LET THE RIGHT ONE IN.

What makes Eli so creepy is not the transformation of the mundane into something more sinister a la Herrick in Being Human, but something far more subliminal. Håkan botches one attempt to gather blood for Eli near the start of the film, and in her subsequent hunger, she goes out hunting herself and kills a local man. Håkan is both worried that she'll be caught and jealous of her burgeoning friendship with Oskar, and so tries again. This time, he's caught in the act, but pours acid on his face- he can't be identified, and thus Eli stays safe.

The most chilling scene of the film soon follows, as Eli scales the wall of the hospital that Håkan is taken to, and he opens the window to let her drink him dry. She then lets him fall to his death, and never so much as mentions him again. What's disturbing is that while the very end of the film has a positive spin, with Oskar and Eli on a train, living free and together, the audience may find it difficult to shake the feeling that Håkan was once like Oskar, aging while the object of his devotion remained young. And thus as much as it's a love story between two young souls (or at least one young soul), Eli remains a parasite, and one of the creepiest order.

END SPOILERS

Creepiness aside, Let the Right One In is in equal measures creepy and thought-provoking, and the prospect of an upcoming Hollywood remake fills me with dread. Not to say that Hollywood is always in the wrong, but I can't imagine it retaining even a trace of the subtlety that Tomas Alfredson's film is so rife with. The idea of a post-Twilight US version of Let the Right One In seems like the stuff of cinematic nightmares, but as far as that goes, whatever happens, happens. The simple fact is that Let the Right One In does vampiric adolescents with a beauty and, though I shudder to use the word, magic that Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment could only dream of matching in Twilight. While Being Human offers both a comedic and dramatic take on these creatures, Let the Right One In does it seriously but without the po-faced nature of Twilight.

Had enough of my Twilight bashing? Well, tough, because incongruous with the title of this blog entry and with my thoughts at the outset of writing, vampires don't suck lately- they're just utilised by sucky writers sometimes. Vampires haven't become any less inherently creepy or frightening through the romanticisation that some films and books have put them through. They're just fine when used right. Though with so much use in the media today, I suspect that they just need to be rested a little. Take them out of the spotlight, because the light will disintegrate them. Not make them fucking sparkle.

Until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch,
Mark

Grilled Shrimp Salad

Great as a healthy lunch meal, this grilled shrimp salad is easy to make, delicious to eat and has a beautiful and clean presentation--perfect for a lunch date on a perfect and sunny spring day like today. All the ingredients to make this salad are easily available and it doesn't take more than 15 minutes to prepare and serve.

I love the spring mix salad, which is made up of baby lettuce, romaine, chard, radicchio, frisee, spinach, red mustard, arugula and kale. This mix is readily available at your local supermarket. I add in cucumber slices, red onion, plum tomatoes and wanton strip croûtons. Toss the salad with balsamic vinaigrette and set aside. Be careful not to overdress the salad as the dressing can be very strong.

As for the shrimp, simply season with salt and pepper and marinate them in any sort of dressing. A good one to use is a honey ginger dressing that is just so yummy. I also have a herb oil marinate on hand which is made up of chopped up thyme, rosemary, basil, oregano and sage. Simply throw them on the grill and cook until the shrimp turn red/orange. Plate the salad, sprinkle some shredded cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese on top and arrange the grilled shrimp around the salad and you have the perfect dish for a perfect spring day out on the lawn.

Berries Pastry Dessert

Now this is a dessert that anyone can sink their teeth into! Apart from the pastry cream, the rest is pretty easy to make and assemble. For the base, it's as simple as buying ready-made puff pastry shells from your favorite local grocery store and baking it on a cookie sheet. Once done, scoop some pastry cream on top of the shell, add your berries (in this case, it is strawberries and blackberries), whip cream and top it off with a sprig of mint.

Alternately, cut the shell horizontally in half, add your pastry cream and berries on top of the bottom half, enclose with the top half, add whip cream and top it off with a blackberry and mint. Simple, simple, simple! Not to mention delicious as well!

Braised Haddock with Escarole and Portobello Mushrooms

Escarole is a broad-leaved endive (as opposed to curly endive or frisée) and is most often utilized in Italian cooking. It is less bitter than the other vegetables in the endive family and is most similar in taste to radicchio and chard. In terms of cooking, escarole is very much like spinach, in that it shrinks down to almost nothing when cooked for a long time. So the secret is to buy a little more more than you think you need.

To prepare the braising liquid for the haddock, I simply cook the onions, garlic, tomatoes, portobello mushrooms and escarole in some marinara sauce. You don't really need much of the sauce as the escarole exudes water when cooked. Add salt and pepper to taste. This process should take just about 5 minutes.

Now prepare the haddock fillet by seasoning it with salt and pepper. Also, remove the skin if you haven't done so. Place the fish in a shallow oven pan and add the braising liquid together with its vegetable contents. Heat your oven to 450F and start cooking. Depending on how big of a fillet your haddock is, the dish should be cooked in around 20-30 minutes.

Haddock is a wonderful fish for this braising method of cooking. It is able to absorb the braising medium and take on the flavor of the escarole. Serve the fish together with the vegetables and some of the braising liquid. It should make for a pretty delicious meal. Best of all, it is so simple and should take less than 40 minutes to prep and cook. What a time saver!

Spicy Calamari Tossed in Marinara Sauce

Squid is a popular item in many restaurants, especially the fried variety. In the culinary universe, squid is better known by its Italian name, calamari. Popular as a snack or appetizer, fried calamari is easy to prepare and delicious to eat. Dipping a morsel in some spicy sauce and popping one in your mouth is as enjoyable as stuffing a handful of popcorn or nachos in your mouth while watching the Super Bowl.

Calamari is usually bought frozen from the seafood section of your local grocery store. Cleaning and preparing the squid for cooking may not be as enjoyable as eating it but it has to be done. To skip this task, you can buy calamari already cleaned and ready to go. Even though it is more expensive, it may be worth it not having to spend extra time cleaning these cephalopods. The body is usually cut cross-section into rings and together with the tentacles, are the only edible parts of the squid.

For this appetizer, I forgo the usual method of preparation (deep fried) for an even easier way of cooking calamari. Start by sautéing shallots, garlic and red pepper flakes until slight brown. Add the calamari and cook for just a couple of minutes until the squid turns opaque or white. Be careful not to overcook the calamari because they will turn rubbery and chewy. Scoop one or two tablespoons of marinara sauce together with some chopped fresh basil leaves and toss all the ingredients together. Sprinkle some chopped parsley and grated parmesan cheese on top and it is ready for serving.

There's little doubt that this dish would be a popular appetizer at any dinner party.

The Reel Deal: Illumination and Animation

After the last three big bumper updates, it's satisfying to return to the format of a double bill of reviews. Shamefully however, I still haven't seen State of Play, so I will try to get around to that one afternoon next week- Monday hopefully. Today's reviews cover Angels & Demons and Coraline, the former always being good value because it's got Tom Hanks (who is more or less the modern James Stewart) in it, and the latter being presented in glorious Real-D-a-ma-vision.

Reviews, as ever, shall contain minor spoilers, but not so far as to ruin your enjoyment of the films in question if you haven't seen them yet.

ANGELS & DEMONS


Starring: Tom Hanks (Charlie Wilson's War), Ayelet Zurer (Vantage Point) and Ewan McGregor (Deception).

What's it all about? Following the events of The Da Vinci Code, Robert Langdon (Hanks) is surprised to have the Vatican ask him for help on the day that a papal conclave is due to begin. All becomes clear when the involvement of the Illuminati, a society dedicated to scientific truth, becomes apparent. The now more-radicalised society has planted a deadly explosive underneath Vatican City and kidnapped the four cardinals who are the favourites to succeed the late Pope. The device is set to detonate just before midnight and eradicate the Catholic Church.

Any good? As far as Dan Brown goes, I'm a fan of the book Angels & Demons. On the other hand, I found The Da Vinci Code to be vastly overrated, and thus there was only so much that director Ron Howard could do with his 2006 film version of the book, even with its superb cast. Factoring into my equations that Akiva Goldsman, surely the worst and yet oddly prolific screenwriter in Hollywood today, was writing the adaptation, The Da Vinci Code was always on the back foot. Nevertheless, it was watchable enough to make me cautiously anticipate this film based on the superior of the two Robert Langdon books to date. And in deviating from some of Brown's more convoluted plot elements, my anticipation paid off.

Howard's line on this sequel has always been that while Tom Hanks was forced to stand still and reel off historical exposition in the first film, he can actually be doing things while he explains in this one- Angels & Demons is in all respects a more action-packed story. On the page however, it could be given to exposition and back-story dumps that slowed down the pace. Not to mention that this book was written before The Da Vinci Code, which had more or less the exact same set-up as this- a beautiful woman teams up with Robert Langdon to battle a secret society who've murdered one of her closest relatives. And by totally throwing out various parts of the book, Angels & Demons manages to shake off the monotonous reverence for the source material that its predecessor had.

The inverse effect that this has divorces the aforementioned beautiful woman, ably played by Ayelet Zurer, from the action by removing a lot of her motivation. Likewise, the character Robert Langdon remains as he always has been- Indiana Jones without the personality. But as its outside of Tom Hanks' capabilities to give a bad performance, he remains inherently watchable. Ewan McGregor plays a refitted character from the book, his harrowing childhood relocated from Italy to Ireland and his name being changed to Patrick McKenna. Like Hanks, McGregor just doesn't give bad performances, and thus his rendition of the Pope's chamberlain is just as compelling as it was at its best on the page.

For every well-advised omission by Howard (I refer of course to the scene where Langdon survives a two mile fall from a helicopter with no parachute), there is a slightly inexplicable change. The Illuminati assassin on the page was formidable- described as well-built and trained with the skills to kill a man with little more than an imperious look and a pot plant. However exaggerated Brown's view of the assassin was, it's preferable to the slightly rubbish one we get on-screen- bespectacled and with a moral code that prevents him from killing Langdon despite his multiple chances to do so. Not to mention how Langdon and Vittoria, our two protagonists, are totally removed from the climactic revelation of the Illuminati collaborator inside the Vatican.

Nevertheless, Angels & Demons has much more to offer cinemagoers than its over-long and pretentious predecessor did- it's worth watching for Hanks and McGregor alone, but I also enjoyed the action and general pace afforded to this one. Even Catholics might enjoy this more than the original- Langdon is very much on the side of the church here, and the tone is almost apologist compared to the controversy that was openly courted by The Da Vinci Code. However, where I've ranked other films with a star less than fans of the related features would give it, you might subtract a star from this one if you're not a fan. All the same, give it a look if you have two and a half hours to spare.



CORALINE


Who's in it? It's animated, so there's the voice talents of Dakota Fanning (Push), Teri Hatcher (Resurrecting the Champ) and Keith David (Superhero Movie).

What's it all about? A neglected young girl called Coraline Jones (Fanning) moves with her family into a new apartment. Every night, a secret passage opens up into a world that is just too good to be true. Things soon sour and Coraline is locked in a battle of wits with the sinister Other Mother (Hatcher), who lures children into her domain only to keep them there forever...

Any good? Neil Gaiman is a terrific writer whose works only seem to be adapted for the screen in recent years, starting with MirrorMask and Stardust and continuing here. Paired with Henry Selick, who's previously directed stop-motion features such as The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach, Coraline is a wonderfully disturbing and entertaining family film. Like all the best family films, it's not afraid to absolutely scare the shit out of younger viewers, and what separates the film out from the rest of its animated and more populist ilk is its sense of gothic horror.

What's mind-boggling is why this particular film was chosen to be presented in 3D. It's in instances like this that the industry's use of 3D to combat piracy becomes considerably more transparent, because this presentation of the film doesn't make it any better than it is. Although Coraline is visually exciting and innovative, that's nothing to do with the 3D, and I'm sure it'd be just as interesting to look at if digitally projected sans 3D. That aside, the narrative and writing stands up to the visuals, elevating the film beyond any accusation of style over substance that some have labelled Selick's previous works with. It's with some trepidation that I'd call the film inventive, because it's based on a book and so it's all inventions that have been taken from the page. But in a time where the film industry suffers from something of a deficit of originality, it's refreshing to see texts like Coraline being adapted for the screen rather than another by-the-numbers Harry Potter wannabe, that sets up a franchise without ever continuing it.

On the whole, Coraline is a visually astonishing film that doesn't lose anything to those visuals, but nor does it gain anything from the 3D presentation. I was pleased that it avoided the trap of casting ridiculously big names in the voice cast, in favour of actual vocal talent, and coupled with everything else, this has all the makings of a classic family film. Younger kids might be a bit scared, but isn't that what makes the kind of film they will remember all their lives?



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Right, so State of Play will definitely get a look-in next week, and the next review update will probably have Fighting and Night at the Museum 2 thrown in for good measure. In the meantime, I'm still working at that vampire thing, so that'll likely be the next thing you see posted on here. To go into a little more detail, I'll be looking at and reviewing Let the Right One In and Twilight, as well as talking about the two recent TV series that deal with vampires, Being Human and Demons. As you can see, it's going to be exploring how it can go one way or the other in terms of quality when it comes to vampires in the media...

Until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch!
Mark

Red, White & Clams

The word "clam" is typically used to describe edible bivalve mollusks known as hard clams or quahog. In the culinary world, hard clams are named according to their sizes. The smallest ones are known as countnecks and as the sizes get larger and larger, they come to be called littlenecks, topnecks, cherrystones and finally, the largest ones are called quahogs. Littlenecks and cherrystones are usually available as raw bar fare, served raw on the half-shell and eaten with tabasco, horseradish or cocktail sauce. The quahogs are usually not as tender and is commonly minced and used in New England clam chowder and are also served as stuffed clams. As a side note, soft-shelled clams, also known as "steamer clams" is popularly steamed (of course) and served with butter.

Littlenecks are also used in dishes like clams casino, in stews or soups and pasta dishes. Here, I am outlining the popular Clams with Linguine or Linguine with Clam Sauce pasta dish. For good measure, I've made two versions of this dish, White and Red Linguine with Clam Sauce (the latter comes with the addition of tomato products).


I started off with approximately 1.5 - 2 lb. of littleneck clams. The clams need to be washed before cooking in order to remove any sand or sediment that might still be clinging on to the shells. Also, start a pot of boiling water (with plenty of salt) for cooking the linguine. As usual cook the pasta until al dente. Mince some garlic and onions and cook them in bacon fat. Add some minced clams, dry white wine, butter, red pepper flakes and some store-bought clam broth to the pot. Bring to a boil and add the littlenecks. Cover the pot and simmer until the littlenecks open up (which means that they are cooked). Add more water if the liquid level goes down too low. For the red version, add a can of peeled tomatoes when you add the littlenecks.

After the clams open up, toss the linguine into the delicious mix and adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper. To serve, remove the clams and plate the linguine first. Now, arrange the clams around the plate and sprinkle with chopped parsley. And there you have it, two versions of Linguine with Clam Sauce, a New England favorite.

Mother's Day Surf & Turf

Nothing conveys one's love and deep appreciation to one's mother more than a scrumptious plate of food that is lovingly prepared and elegantly presented. This Mother's Day, my wife, a mother of three, received just such a gift, a Surf & Turf dinner made up of a whole Maine lobster and a sirloin steak (as shown above).

Maine lobsters are known the world over for its succulent flesh and sweet, flavorful taste. Lobsters are highly adaptable to the Maine coastline because of its cold, clean water and rocky coast, which provides both shelter from predators and also plenty of small prey to feed on. A major contributor to the state of Maine's economy, lobsters are harvested year round. In order to protect the industry and maintain enough stock of this crustacean for generations to come, sustainability becomes an issue and laws regulating the industry were enacted. Lobsters can only be harvested if they exceed a pound and a quarter in weight. Also, breeding female lobsters that carry eggs on their underbelly (also known as berried) are prohibited from being harvested as well.


For this Surf & Turf, I fired up my trusty Weber charcoal grill and grilled both the steak and the lobster. The lobster's tail hold the majority of the meat and it should be separated from the head and split down the middle. While a pound and a quarter lobster may yield only approximately 5 oz. of meat, it may be the best tasting 5 oz. of meat you might ever eat. Simply salt, pepper and oil both halves of the tail and throw them on the grill. As for the claws, crack the two claws with the blunt end of your knife (so as not to dull the blade) and lay them on the grill as well. Clean the insides of the lobster head thoroughly and put it on the grill as well. The head makes a great presentation item on the plate.

As for the steak, I chose a boneless rib-eye cut, grilled to medium temperature. The steak received the salt and pepper treatment together with some Worcestershire sauce marinade. Simple yet tasty. To finish off this dish, I made some garlic butter and melted it over the lobster meat before serving. Going for a more elegant presentation, I used dressed field greens as the base for the lobster meat. Cut a piece of lemon and add it to the plate to complete the final presentation.

Mothers all over the world would be thrilled with this dish! Good luck!

Panko and Scallion Fried Soft-Shell Blue Crab

The one unique characteristic of crustaceans (crabs, lobsters, shrimp) is its hard outer shell. In order for these creatures to grow, it has to shed its shell and replace it with a new and bigger one every year, much like how a snake sheds its skin. This process is known as molting. When this happens, the molting animal is very vulnerable and has only a soft shell covering its body. The soft shell will slowly harden over time. Between the months of May and July, Maryland blue crabs start molting and before the shells harden, they are harvested and sold as soft-shell crabs that are quite a delicacy. And the best thing about soft-shell crabs? The entire crab is edible: legs, claws, body, everything! Absolutely nothing is wasted.

T'is the season for soft-shell crabs and I've managed to get my hands on four of these delicious crustaceans. There are two popular ways to cook soft-shells: deep frying or pan frying. For this dish, I opted to deep fry them as they really look spectacular when coated with Japanese panko crumbs and deep frying them until golden brown in color.

However, before we start, the crabs need to be "prepared" for cooking. Soft-shell crabs are usually sold live and they have to be cleaned. Using a pair of sharp scissors, start off by snipping across the front portion of the crab, mainly the eyes and mouth area. Then lift the pointy side flaps and remove the gills with the scissors. Finally, turn the crab over and on the rear end, remove yet another flap. I know that this may not be most people's idea of humanely killing an animal but this is the most efficient way to do it and it is done in most restaurants.

Now that the gory deed is done, let's prepare for deep frying. You will need three mixing bowls, one to hold the egg wash, one for the flour and the third one contains the panko crumbs. For this dish, I added chopped scallions strips and also traditional Old Bay seasoning to the panko. Get your deep fryer nice and hot. First coat the crab with egg wash, then flour, egg wash again and finally, the panko crumbs. Deep fry them until golden brown and you have yourself a deliciously crunchy and mouth-watering dish.

As a side dish, I blanched some asparagus and cooked up some mushrooms, shallots and garlic with a touch of cream and dry sherry. Serve the fried crabs on a bed of field greens and voila!, a dish that would definitely be the center of attention at any dinner party. Dig in!

Biryani Rice Served with Chicken Curry

Indian cuisine is well-known for its menagerie of exotic spices that bequeath the dishes from this sub-continent its unmistakably potent and spicy flavor. An unforgettable feast for all your senses, Indian curries and assorted spiced rice may be the most basic components of a typical Indian family's daily meal but they are oh so delicious and sweat-inducing! For this entry, I will outline how to make the spiced rice.

The spiced rice you see here is known as biryani, popular in South Asia and parts of the Middle East. To make biryani, start with basmati, a variety of long grain rice, cultivated mainly in India and Pakistan. Notable for its fragrance and flavor, basmati is highly suitable for this application. Before you even attempt to make biryani, make sure that you have the following special spices on hand: cumin, coriander, bay leaves, tumeric, cloves, fresh ginger (pureed), cinnamon (not powder but sticks), paprika, mint leaves, cardamom and ghee (or regular unsalted butter if ghee is not available). Ghee is a type of clarified butter that is typically used in Indian cooking and it adds great aroma and taste to any dish.

Start by washing the basmati rice and drying it on a paper towel. Then chop up some garlic and onions and brown them in a pan with ghee, together with one or two cinnamon sticks and the pureed ginger. Cooking the cinnamon this way draws out the oils and smell of the spice. Then add the rest of the special ingredients I mentioned above together with some water. The tumeric and paprika will give the rice a nice yellow and red color. Bring these ingredients to a boil and add the washed basmati rice together with salt and pepper to taste. Cook everything (make sure to evenly coat the rice with the fragrant mix) for a few minutes and then add the correct cups of water (depending on how much rice you used) to the pot and cover. To give extra body to the biryani, I add raisins and green peas to the mix as well. Cook on low heat.

Serve the biryani together with some chicken curry (made separately) and you have yourself an authentic Indian meal.

Springtime Berries Dessert

A super quick yet fresh and decadent dessert, this potent concoction is made up entirely of fresh berries like strawberries, blackberries, blueberries and raspberries. It's springtime, so these various berries are in abundance and are perfect as an after-dinner dessert. An excellent source of vitamins and antioxidants, these berries offer a healthy and delicious choice.

The tartness of the berries contrasts well with the sweet and creamy sauce, which is made up of sour cream, fine sugar and your choice of liquor (which gives this dessert that extra punch). Choices of liquor include dark rum or any types of fruit-flavored liqueurs. Fine tune the amount of sugar and alcohol according to your taste. Top it with a sprig of fresh mint leaves and you have yourself an elegant yet easy-to-make dessert that should impress all your friends. Although I used a wine glass for serving, a much better vessel would be a margarita glass, with its bigger opening for easier access to the fruits.

Review: Star Trek

Space. The final frontier. These are the continuing voyages of the Star Trek film franchises. Its mission; to reboot a franchise that's been dead in the water since that one where Data got blew up, and to boldly go where no fan has gone before.

Even people who have never really liked Star Trek seem to want to give this film a go. The first Trek film in seven years replaces the Next Generation crew with an older crew but in an alternate reality. If your head is spinning, I wouldn't worry. I can say with total honesty- not just that fan-honesty about stuff like Watchmen where I'd say "You'll totally understand it!"- that JJ Abrams has made this a new beginning more or less, broadening the appeal to everyone. If you haven't got time to read the full review and want a quick idea of how good this is, it's up there with the reboots like Batman Begins and Casino Royale. But for everyone else, here's a review that contains a spoiler or two, but nothing crucial, storywise.

STAR TREK


Who's in it? Chris Pine (Smokin' Aces), Zachary Quinto (TV's Heroes), Zoe Saldana (Vantage Point), Eric Bana (The Other Boleyn Girl), and Karl Urban (Pathfinder)

What's it all about? I already did the "Space. The final frontier" joke up there, so here's a proper summary. The intervention of a vengeful Romulan miner called Nero (Bana) creates an alternate reality before James T. Kirk (Pine) has even been born. Their destinies changed, the crew of the USS Enterprise are fresh out of the Academy when they're pitted against Nero in a battle to save the Federation.

Any good? Let me illustrate my position on Star Trek prior to any mention of this film going into production. I had no time for it. I'd seen the last three movies with the Next Generation cast, and hadn't been particularly moved by any of them. I'd never seen a single episode of the series and nor did I plan to. I much preferred (prefer) Doctor Who, and was suspicious of the little rip-offs this other series was guilty of. Borg and Cybermen? An original leading man called William who was later replaced by a Patrick? Terrible! In 2006, JJ Abrams directed the third instalment of the Mission: Impossible series, which I thought was brilliant- and I hated the first two films. Nine months later, it was officially announced that he'd be directing a prequel/reboot of Star Trek. This flagged my interest a little, and the brilliant marketing and trailers eventually reeled me in. And I'm so very glad it did.

Abrams brings his great directorial flair to the Trek universe, pleasing fans and new viewers alike with brilliant action scenes and callbacks to the past. The former is particularly well observed by the lack of "pyoo-pyoo" laser sound effects during battle scenes in space- in fact, by the lack of any sound in space whatsoever. It's a scientifically accurate touch that I remember noticing in Firefly and the subsequent film spin-off, Serenity, and for me, that's what this film had to live up to. Firefly is such a brilliant show that its shadow hangs over every other bit of American science fiction I've watched since, but Abrams passed that criteria of mine with aplomb. The characters who make up the crew of the Enterprise are every bit as real as those who live on-board Serenity, aided by some fantastic performances from the film's cast.

In particular, Chris Pine gives the kind of performance that would earmark any young actor as one to watch in Hollywood in coming years. His Kirk is part-Mal Reynolds, part-Indiana Jones- since both of those characters were created after William Shatner's original portrayal of Kirk in the TV series, it's safe to say that Pine does much more than an impersonation of Shatner. Zachary Quinto may well have been chosen for his eyebrows for all I know, but besides looking somewhat similar to Leonard Nimoy, who reprises his role here as a much older Spock, Quinto is brilliant as Spock. Once he collides with Kirk, it reminded me of the dynamic between Woody and Buzz in the first Toy Story film, which is by no means a negative comparison.

Elsewhere, Eric Bana gives a wonderfully villainous turn as Nero, albeit with a couple of moments where he seems to be echoing Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight- though I'm sure that was just me seeing Jokers everywhere- and Karl Urban is terrific as the neurotic Dr. "Bones" McCoy. Both Bana and Urban are generally underrated as actors, although I prefer to see the former in supporting roles as opposed to leading roles. With such a large cast of characters, you'd think that some characters would be short-changed, but the film manages what no X-Men film ever has by balancing them all, giving each of them their moment to shine. The only character who feels under-used is Simon Pegg's Scotty, but it's a narrative necessity that he doesn't enter the film until after the halfway point. And the time he does have on-screen is brilliant too.

Scotty being slightly sidelined by the narrative does illustrate how the narrative is paramount to Abrams' film. That's not to say there aren't a few good references to the show's tropes and conventions for the fans- my friend Andy came with me to see this, and he was essentially my reference-o-meter, with big grins following every reference to the Kobayashi Maru or Scotty giving it all she's got. And that those references gel with the narrative without alienating newbies is marvellous. The major strength of Abrams' M:I3 was its structure and pace, and as it was in that film, Star Trek's second act just doesn't let up for a moment. This does slightly undercut the film's climax, which doesn't feel quite as riproaring as what had come immediately before, but provides for an incredibly entertaining film nonetheless. The opening half-hour does feel like it could've used a little editing too, as we plod through the fan-serving glimpses of Kirk and Spock in their respective childhoods, but once the Enterprise takes off into space, it's all go.

Though it seems I've gone to great pains to establish my disinterest in Star Trek at the beginning of this review, I was fortunate enough that I opened my mind and watched Wrath of Khan on Monday night and found it to be one of the best sci-fi films I've ever seen. That the subsequent films essentially retconned the ending hardly endears the other films in the series to me, but I think I went in to see this film with expectations that it would best even Khan, and it only slightly underperformed. So it's maybe not the best of the films, but it's a hell of a way way to kick off a new franchise. Like all the really good reboots (all two of them), it's entertaining, intelligent, and the ending leaves you wanting more. Perhaps the inevitable sequel will be even better. And have more Simon Pegg. As it is, Star Trek is a very good film on its own merits, and one I'll happily see again and again this summer. A coach trip to my nearest IMAX screen might even be in order. The definitive beginning, not only to Kirk and Spock's adventures, but to this year's summer movie season.



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And if it's a choice between this and Wolverine- for the love of Landru, make sure you see this.

Coming next... um... probably that vampire rant/review I mentioned, but if not, another raft of reviews, including State of Play and Coraline (once I've seen them).

Until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch!
Mark