(Meno)Pause for Thought

It's been a while since I've doubled up films like this in one post, but I've decided I'm going to go back to doing that on films about which I only have a certain amount to say. It helps that both Atom Egoyan's erotic pseudo-thriller Chloe and Catherine Corsini's arthouse drama Leaving deal with similar subject matter- married middle-age women and extra-marital affairs.

Leaving is another film I saw at the Tyneside Cinema a few weeks ago, and I've taken my time writing about it. But on the day this entry is posted, I'll be on my way there to see three more films with limited distribution, so I had to leave you something to read. The film finds one Suzanne Vidal in utter boredom with her upper class family life. Everything changes with the arrival of Ivan, a labourer who's fixing up her house- the two embark on an affair that leaves Mr. Vidal closing his wallet in a temper...

In most respects, I should probably like Leaving more than I actually did. To describe the plot in the barest terms makes it sound slightly like some Brazzers video involving a bored housewife, but it goes without saying that with Kristin Scott Thomas in the lead role, the film is considerably more thoughtful than it sounds. She gives a performance that is really, properly wonderful, and she's evenly matched by the versatile Sergi López, who most will remember as the sadistic officer from Pan's Labyrinth.

The romance between their characters is electric, but the fundamental flaw of the film, for me, was in how difficult it is to empathise with Suzanne. She's not unhappy in her marriage, nor is her husband neglectful- she's just bored. To a point, that's fine, but some of the stuff that happens as a result of her boredom is unforgivable. The last five minutes brings around a terrible twist that undermines any attachment you might have had to the opprobrious Suzanne.

Although Leaving is beautifully shot and very well acted, Catherine Corsini seems so intent on undermining the bourgeois class politics that Suzanne initially upholds that she also undermines everything human. Is it fair that Suzanne's cuckolded husband should cut her off financially just because she cheated on him? Well, yes! Yes, it is, no matter how many times she bemoans her circumstances. Despite some beautiful scenes scattered throughout, the film's ugly conscience ultimately left an unbearably sour taste in my mouth.

Leaving (Partir) is still playing in select cinemas in London, and will be released on DVD later in the year.

Elsewhere, Chloe is a prostitute hired by a genuinely unhappy wife and mother to honey-trap her husband. Catherine believes David is cheating on her after he repeatedly flirts with other women right in front of her, and crucially, deliberately misses his plane home when she's planned a birthday party for him. Chloe reports back as she dallies with David, but Catherine is ultimately drawn into something much deeper.

I'm not familiar with Atom Egoyan's work, but here he speaks softly and carries a big stick, to borrow a broad adage. The score is full of what the DVD subtitles call "soft" and "pensive" music, though this one's anything but soft. It's a psychodrama of an oddly seductive power. Not because its female stars bare all, but because of the palpable charge that the film accumulates throughout. The opening is fairly prosaic, but while it's never massively exciting, it's relentlessly interesting.

Amanda Seyfried is the closest thing to a weak link in the cast, but that's only because her co-stars are Julianne Moore and Liam Neeson. Seyfried is definitely watchable throughout, but every time those two shared the screen, it was fantastic. Their marriage, now deflated of romance, is utterly believable- Neeson's indignation is ambiguous enough that it actually feeds the uncertainty of the plot, and Moore beautifully portrays her character's frustration at how everyone loves a man as he reaches his autumn years while a woman is seen to be past her best.

Chloe makes for a sensual and beguiling drama, even if it goes just a little bit Fatal Attraction in the last act. That's a development I could have done without, but it has a lot to say about the gulf between genders in middle age and while many will appreciate Amanda Seyfried being naked, that's not there to titillate. It manages to be portentous without being pretentious- a mature and powerful film that leaves the viewer with a lot to muse upon afterwards.

Chloe is currently available on DVD and Blu-ray
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If you've seen Leaving or Chloe, why not leave a comment on the films and/or my review? Be sure to let me know if you're perturbed by how much I'm talking about gender lately- my current trip to the Tyneside involves Black Dynamite, so discussion may be lighter from here onwards.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Solo Round!- SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD Review

As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of a number of films I've seen in 2010 that were just so incredible that they left me struggling to articulate my thoughts for a good while afterwards. I wouldn't be much of a blogger if I didn't overcome this silent appreciation of the film and get right on reviewing for you folks.

Scrounging douchebag Scott Pilgrim is our anti-hero, living off of the same flat (and indeed, mattress) as his gay roommate and trying to win the adoration of his peers as the bass player in a garage band called Sex Bob-Omb. He becomes infatuated with one Ramona Flowers, and provokes the wrath of a league made up of her super-powered Evil-Exes. Ready? FIGHT!

For the second time in a year, after Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass, we have here a film that's destined to become a cult classic. It's not to say it won't garner critical praise and fan appreciation at the time of its release (because it's already done that), but Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a Hollywood film so fresh and exciting and left-of-centre that you wonder why everyone isn't going to see it.

The answer to that is clear- for all of its brilliance and insight, it's not a film for everyone. The use of video game and comic book vocabulary to convey the romantic angst of a certain age puts it squarely below the sights of many mainstream critics, who've tended to review the audience rather than the film. It's a film that deploys sound effects from The Legend of Zelda, and where characters burst into fight scenes as regularly as your High School Musical-starring teens will burst into song.

Moreover, our protagonist is a somewhat nebbish anti-hero, who's difficult to empathise with for a large portion of the film. As if director Edgar Wright didn't have enough to do trying to turn Michael Cera into an action hero. As Scott Pilgrim though, that same performance we always see him do gains something a little different. If the only reason you're not seeing this is because you don't like Cera, that will actually help your enjoyment of the film, even if you might find difficulty in following Scott's getting over himself and evolution into a better person. Through fighting!

And man, the fighting is awesome. I've complained about so many action films this summer that the fights are shot too close, in poor lighting, and so it's difficult to tell what's going on. The fights here are nothing short of amazing, excellently choreographed to mirror the button-mashing pursuits of Street Fighter and the like, with all the onomatopoeic debris of the 60s Batman series. It helps that we have such great comedy turns in some of Scott's opponents too, particularly Chris Evans' action star parody, Brandon Routh's psychic vegan and Mae Whitman's "bi-furious" ninja girl.

At its heart, it's a romantic comedy, but many I've spoken to don't get why Scott has to fight the Evil Exes for Ramona anyway. Surprisingly, most of these people are male, who I would have expected to understand better than the female audience, to be frank. I don't know about you, but I've known a Ramona. A girl so world-weary and jaded, and yet so unattainable that you can't think about anyone else. She's wrong for you, and those who've been with her say the same. Bryan Lee O'Malley's comics, and now Wright's film, externalise a geek's unrequited love (everyone's had one) and the jealousy and rivalry a bloke feels when he realises he's not the first who's ever gone after a Ramona.

Sometimes you encounter boyfriends or girlfriends in real life who make it so difficult for their ex that it's impossible to start a new relationship. These ones in the film control Ramona's love-life by duelling any new prospects to the death, and the only way someone of Scott's youth and experience can process this is through fantasy. Anyone who's ever picked up a console controller has imagined experiencing video game physics in real life, and in properly fighting for a woman instead of expecting her to sit idly by and watch his crap band, he realises that in hilarious fashion.

If sentimental rationale isn't enough, be assured that Mary Elizabeth Winstead makes Ramona a living and breathing entity, instead of some princess who has to be rescued from giant barrel-chucking monkeys every week. In looks, she's got the big anime eyes that her comic counterpart has, but she has the acting chops too. Hell, all of the performances were great here- Jason Schwartzmann makes for a very interesting boss level, Kieran Culkin is one of the comic highlights of the film as the aforementioned snarky gay roommate Wallace, and Ellen Wong gives a performance that occasionally verges on heartbreaking as Scott's tragically obsessed fangirl Knives Chau.

Before all of this business, I can't avoid the fact that the first half hour, before Ramona properly makes her entrance, is kind of slow. It's easy to see how those who have doubts could enter the film and wonder what rubbish they've got themselves into for a good chunk of the first act. Maybe on repeat viewings, it'll drag less. Perhaps it's as essential to the astonishing visuals that follow as the black and white overture was to The Wizard of Oz. Or maybe we just need to get to know these characters properly before all becomes astonishing and vibrant.

That's really the only nit to pick though, because Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is just wonderful. Its tendency to liberally burst into excellent action sequences makes it visually distinctive from virtually everything else in the cinema at the moment, and it's got a heart of gold too. The cast has a real camaraderie, plunging some of the group dynamics of something like Ferris Bueller's Day Off into the middle of Kill Bill, or to draw from a video game, No More Heroes.

If anything, you kind of wonder why video game adaptations were never as ballsy as to loyally translate the medium's visual style to the big screen. Why is the first film in which defeated enemies explode into coins an adaptation from a comic book? It just sucks to be those other films really, as Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a near flawless victory, pleasing action fans and resonating with troubled young lovers at the same time, and all the while having enough fun that you'll want to revisit it within hours of leaving the cinema.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is now showing in cinemas nationwide.
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If and when you see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? If you can help me when McG plunges through my ceiling and challenges me to a duel with seven Evil Hacks who don't like my reviews, flaming sword donations will be very appreciated.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Thai-style Mussels with Coconut Milk and Lemongrass

Here's an novel idea for cooking mussels with Thai ingredients. It's simple and should impress your friends or significant other when they come over for movie night. Here's what you need:

1 lb. mussels (washed and debearded)
1/2 can coconut milk
1 stalk lemongrass (chopped up in a blender)
2 medium sized shallots (minced)
2 cloves garlic (chopped fine)
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1 teaspoon chopped cilantro leaves
1/2 cup water
Salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon fish sauce (optional)
1 Thai bird chili chopped (optional)

Using a wok, heat up a couple of tablespoons of oil and sauté the garlic, ginger, shallots and lemongrass until fragrant. Add the cleaned mussels into the wok and stir to mix all the ingredients together with the mussels. Next, add the coconut milk and water (and fish sauce), stir well and let the liquid come to a boil. When all the mussels have opened up, add the chopped cilantro and season with salt and pepper.

And you are done. Yes, seriously, you are done. Simple and delicious. Try it!

The Walking Dead - The Next Big TV Series from AMC

AMC is the new HBO. There I've said it. Much like the cable channel FX is the poor man's HBO, AMC is slowly becoming my favorite TV channel for great new original series. With highly acclaimed shows such as "Mad Men" and "Breaking Bad" and the recent premiere of "Rubicon," AMC is gearing up for yet another great show that is on my must-see list and it is coming on October 31st. Yes, on Halloween this year, we will be feted with a new and exciting TV series called "The Walking Dead." After all the copycat vampire movies and TV shows, it is time for the other undead to have their day on our TV screens. Just check out the excellent trailer above and you will understand what I mean. Story does matter there.

Blu-ray Releases & Dinner Pairings: Week of August 23rd, 2010

     

Well, here it is folks, this week marks the release of the much-hyped, much-praised and much-maligned final television season of the "Lost" saga. This brainchild of uber-director J.J. Abrams together with Damon Lindelof, Jeffrey Lieber and Carlton Cuse made its TV debut back in 2004 and to be sure, I was one of those enthralled by the possibilities of what might lie behind the mysterious "island" (here's my glowing review of the 1st season). Alas, the next season proved that the show might be losing its way after such a great start. The plot went around the mulberry bush and never recovered (my review of Season 2), frustrating fans like myself who were seeking some (or any) answers to the many, many open-ended questions. From trying to escape the clutches of the island to the return of the Oceanic 6 to the island in Season 5, many mysteries still remained and the final season never bothered (or maybe they couldn't) to answer all of them. Yes, we had some kind of closure but so many sub-plots remained dangling. For what it was worth, the show was unique in the way that it tells its story, using creative ways like flashbacks and even flashforwards (for an entire season). For that, I must commend the show's creators for bringing such a new perspective to storytelling. Also releasing this week, is the entire 6-season collection of "Lost" for those who fans who have not already bought any of the single season sets. Other than the discs, this collection also includes various collectible items for the dedicated Losties. As can be expected, this entire collection will set you back almost $200 on Amazon.

Dinner Pairing:

As for a dinner pairing for "Lost," might I suggest a tropical Hawaiian staple of ahi tuna poke (here's a simple poke recipe), matched with a refreshing Mai-Tai cocktail (here's a list of famous Mai-Tai recipes) that must include a cocktail umbrella to complete the Polynesian theme.

Next on the list is classic TV sitcom and a favorite of many, "The Simpsons: The Thirteenth Season." With the current broadcast of the show in its 21st season, "The Simpsons" have broken almost all TV show records for the longest running primetime show, longest running sitcom, longest running animated show, most episodes, etc. The only problem is, we might be able to own the entire series of the show on DVD or Blu-ray until may be the end of the decade! The home video release is crawling almost 10 years behind the current season of the show. I know the studio tries to create a great DVD package with lots of extras for each season's release and that takes time but come on! "The Simpsons" fans must be the most saintly patients fans in the world! Well, is you are a fan of the show, I don't have to tell you what you have to do this week. Every episode is a classic and the show is so up to date on what to make fun of, it isn't even funny. So get to it!

As a tribute to the show, may I present to you a list of Homer Simpson's favorite foods:
1. Duff beer (of course!)
2. Donuts (with sprinkles)
3. Burgers (flame grilled or just fried on Marge's stove)
4. Hot dogs (a great food anywhere and anytime)
5. Pizza (hot or cold, just bring it on!)
6. Chocolate (yes, the gooey stuff that you can soak in!)
7. Pancakes (flapjacks, to be precise)

Just pick one in honor of Homer and we can all enjoy the thirteenth season episodes one after another.

Another recommended movie in this week's release is "The Square," a thriller set in Australia that has the Coen brothers written all over it. It's got extra-marital affairs, stolen money, murder, deceit, a whole nasty web of entanglements that threatens to spiral completely out of control. You definitely have to check it out.

One more movie released this week and it is a rental at best. It is called "$5 A Day" and it stars the great Christopher Walken together with Alessandro Nivola and Sharon Stone. It has a run-of-the-mill road trip story about estranged father-son relationships and how things get sorted out eventually. Here's my review of the DVD release at DVDTown.com. Not the best Walken movie but he kinda saves the movie from extreme mediocrity.

Girl Prowess- WHIP IT Review

As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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Some days, your Mad Prophet can't be arsed to get out of the house to see something as second-rate as Marmaduke. In such times, he often dusts off the DVD remote and gets onto a couple of films he missed in cinemas earlier this year.

One of those films is Whip It, the tale of 17-year-old misfit Bliss Cavendar. The discovery of a local roller derby league is the most exciting thing to happen in Bliss' small-town life, and she decides to compete and take control of her life, instead of parading through beauty pageants at the behest of her domineering mother.

Let's be frank- this looks for all the world like Bend It Like Beckham on skates. Nevertheless, I urge you to give it a look, because you might just be as surprised as I was. The director is Drew Barrymore, so you should probably be really surprised that this is actually a very thoughtful and fun teen movie. It doesn't exactly announce Barrymore as a major directorial talent, but it's more than good enough for 105 minutes of your time.

If you've never heard of roller derby, you're not alone. But hey, I've personally been left confused by films about much more mainstream sports than this. Barrymore at least knows that you don't know how to play this thing, so the film goes to certain lengths to explain the sport. It's played on roller skates, by girls in fishnet tights with punny names, and the rules are a lot easier to swallow than, say, Quidditch- a sport which has now featured prominently in five films.

In the way of the best sports movies, the sport itself is secondary to the characters. Bliss, excellently played by Ellen Page, hates the lack of purpose that comes with her stage mother's pushing and pulling, and this fairly obscure sport becomes her outlet. The match scenes aren't so much about girl power as girl prowess- there's the minimum amount of "Wow, Bliss, you're a born roller derby player!" that you see in other coming-of-age sports films, and more of a rigorous path to glory from her merely being light and speedy enough on the track to avoid being hit.

As could be expected from a female director, it's good that there's no leering for the sake of leering at girls playing a sport. However, maybe it was too much to use Jimmy Fallon as a mouthpiece for that "phwoaar" sensibility, making this one of the eight films (according to IMDB) that would be better for not having Jimmy Fallon in them. And then Fallon's match commentator is something of a cartoon character, but hey, he's used sparingly, and the best parts of Whip It are more than ostensible anyway.

In the background to Marcia Gay Harden's fine performance as Bliss' mother, there's Daniel Stern as Bliss' father, Earl. At first I wasn't sure why I latched onto his performance in particular, but later I realised that all of his character was being conveyed without those hackneyed heart-to-heart scenes that are the last resort of romantic comedies and weak dramas. He's wistful about having two daughters, both of whom are being groomed by their mother for pageantry rather than bonding with their dad, while the next-door neighbour is frequently seen with his two sport-star sons. With that in mind, the otherwise predictable conclusion becomes a logical development of his character.

It's this kind of background character work that elevates Whip It. Although the central plot is nothing we haven't seen before, it's being told differently. More than that, it's not too alternative- in its most exclusive moments, there's a little too much of the kind of hipster faux-knowing that has bogged down other films of this type. It's one thing to promote an indie band in a film, through the soundtrack perhaps, but when you stop to have a conversation about that band, it's no better than product placement, and it's bloody distracting.

And you'll want to pay attention to what's really going on anyway. For Ellen Page, it's not a huge departure from her role in Juno, but it's still a fine turn from one of my favourite actresses working at the moment. Similarly, Marcia Gay Harden does a severely toned-down variation on her performance in The Mist, as a bull-headed Midwestern mother who has great chemistry with her screen daughter. For the likes of Kristen Wiig, Alia Shawkat and Barrymore herself, this leaves a lot of comic mileage, which they gamely cover as the running time goes on.

With a likeable cast and a script that can be both moving and amusing at different junctures, I'm really wondering who would hate Whip It. It's not the best of the year or anything, but it's winsome enough that there's really nothing there to outright dislike. This kind of film could be, and has in the past proven to be, hell for a certain type of viewer, but instead it has broad appeal rather than speaking to a minority.

Does it matter that young women who don't know what to do with themselves might not listen to that band or wear that t-shirt? Nah, because it's a very charming family drama, of the type you'd see before "family drama" meant either a talking dog teaching a broken family the meaning of friendship or a Oscar-bait topical pot-boiler. This sits comfortably between the two, and it's a highly endearing debut that's well worth catching on DVD.

Whip It is currently available on DVD and Blu-ray.
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If and when you see Whip It, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? Maybe you can help me figure out why more films don't go to the lengths that this one does to give its characters memorable names, like Babe Ruthless or Bloody Holly.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Fish and Nips- PIRANHA 3D Review

As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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If 3D can be (and it has been) seen as a way to bring the theme park experience into cinemas, and this film in particular has a high quota of nudity and risible dialogue, you could call Piranha 3D the equivalent of porno Disneyland. Jizzneyland, if you will. It's a remake of a Joe Dante-directed Jaws parody from 1978, and it sees a bunch of fratboys and sorority girls descend on Lake Victoria for spring break, just as seismic activity unleashes thousands of prehistoric piranhas into the current.

If you weren't sure, then be sure- this is trash cinema. Sometimes that can be just fine, seeing a director and a group of actors you know and like knowingly taking on a trend that can, at its best, throw up a lot of laughs and make for a riotous time at the cinema. If you know and like Elisabeth Shue at her least interested, Jerry O'Connell at his most annoying, and a whole bunch of porn actresses, you will have a blast watching Piranha 3D.

You'd hope that most of the people old enough to gain admission through the film's 18 certificate would have outgrown this particular brand of trash, but then there's still a large contingent of men who read Nuts and Zoo. The last film I invoked lads' mag filmmaking about was Sorority Row, which shared a screenwriter with this one- the dubiously named Pete Goldfinger. If for some reason you liked that writer's leering sensibility then, this is more of the same. The gratuitous nudity on show here makes you think it was remiss to even credit the presumably minimal work done by the film's costume designer.

I've made my thoughts on 3D perfectly clear in the past, but in this one particularly, it's annoying as hell. It's another one retro-fitted with 3D after the fact, marking another tremendously lazy oversight for a film that was always going to be sold on its bespectacled visual appeal. As a result, a lot of it looks crummy, with ghosting, colour loss and all the other regular bugbears that made this the only film which I stumped up for the stereoscopic version of for some time.

The other major appeal is going to be the scantily clad women, most of whom have probably shown more in their more prolific porno work. I know for a fact that Kelly Brook showed as much in the execrable erotic thriller Three, but if you really need to see her swimming around underwater with Riley Steele, both entirely naked and snogging each other, to the strains of Delibes' The Flower Duet, then you can safely wait for the DVD. Guys, what you're thinking of doing after that description, you're generally not allowed to do in the cinema- see the problem with putting Jizzneyland on the big screen?

What initially made me mad about this film was the presence of Richard Dreyfuss in Matt Hooper mode. Yeah, he's more or less the same character he played in Jaws. I'm not innovating in the field of film fandom to declare how much I love Jaws, and I understand that this is based on a pastiche of that film, but I still didn't like that joke like I was supposed to. It just made me wish I was watching Jaws on a big-screen (in 2D) instead.

I will give it points for honesty though- it's all-out, crazy trash of the trashiest kind and they know it. To merely call it navel-gazing would omit its equal love for booby-gazing, ass-gazing, gore-gazing and CG-piranha gazing. In all respects but the pacing, which saves all the gross-out action you really came to see for the last 20 minutes, it's pretty competently put together. There is definitely an audience who will find all of this to be brilliant if breviloquent fun.

Me, I had more fun with Snakes on a Plane a few years ago, which shot for the same audience that this one does. If I really desperately needed to see tits when that film came out, I would have went on the Internet. Because I was 15, not because I can't find tits in real life. Uh... this movie sucks! It's aiming to be a guilty pleasure, but the operative part of that equation is the pleasure. If you don't enjoy this, like I didn't, then you're just left with the guilt.

The reason why I'm generally putting Piranha 3D down isn't because I have to chew away at it like so many underwater beasties, in search of some non-existent purpose in the film. It didn't entice me because it's simply more obnoxious than entertaining, and seriously falls short in a subset of cinema that director Alexandre Aja clearly understands and wants to capture in this remake. Instead he's made a film where the likes of Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames get as much screentime as Eli Roth as the judge of a wet t-shirt contest.

For some, it'll do exactly what it needs to, but it goes without saying that there's nothing on offer to a female audience, and that any males' intentions would probably be better served by waiting for the DVD and ruining a few socks then instead. You wouldn't fork out to see the recent lower-budgeted Asylum flick Mega-Piranha on the big screen, so don't waste your money on the same thing just because it had more money thrown at it.

Piranha 3D is now showing in 3D (duh) at cinemas nationwide.
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If and when you see Piranha 3D, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? If only Christopher Lloyd had got to say "Where they're going, they don't need water!" at the end, to set up for a remake of that James Cameron one where the piranha can fly.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Mutually Assured Distraction- SALT Review

As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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At the end of an underpowered summer for action films, here comes Salt, a bid to launch a female-centric spy franchise. While the most that Bond and Bourne ever find themselves accused of is going rogue for some personal reason or other, their latest would-be counterpart, CIA operative Evelyn Salt, is really put through the wringer when a defector accuses her of being a Russian sleeper agent on her wedding anniversary. Salt then tries to contact her husband while on the run from her friends and employers, as the clock counts down towards an assassination attempt on a major world leader.

I can only assume that writer Kurt Wimmer started dancing with joy at the recent discovery of Anna Chapman's covert presence on American soil, because otherwise his latest, this film, might have looked rather silly in its attempt to resurrect Russians as the international boogeymen. Either that, or Chapman was part of Sony's advertising campaign, in a double bluff worthy of this very film's second act.

It becomes clear very quickly once you get into Salt that not all is as it seems. Given the stupidity of Wimmer's post-Equilibrium scripts, such as Law Abiding Citizen and Ultraviolet, it's nice to see him actually putting together a suspenseful and massively entertaining action script like this one. And crucially for a script that relies on twists and turns, it's not entirely predictable.

Alright, maybe it's a mite predictable, in one small but potentially fatal aspect, especially as the film relies so much on the central enigma of who can and can't be trusted. Without spoiling anything, you need to watch more films on a certain actor's filmography if you're not simply waiting for him to turn heel in this one. But by holding most of the cards close to his chest, director Phillip Noyce keeps his audience captive while still refusing to let up with the action.

It's well directed and very functional action too, something that the likes of The A-Team and The Expendables have failed to deliver this year. Maybe it has the same problem as its more masculine alternatives, in that Angelina Jolie is a bit indestructible, but every character remains an equal opportunities ass-kicker. And although it feels patronising to say it, this film is markedly better for having a female lead.

For those who don't know, Evelyn Salt was originally Edwin Salt, a male operative who was at one point going to be played by Tom Cruise. He turned it down in the end because it was far too close to his role in Mission: Impossible for his liking. The surface similarities to Ethan Hunt are obvious when you watch the film, but so is the fact that Cruise or Hugh Jackman or any of the other established male action stars wouldn't quite cut it.

It's different not just because Jolie is a woman in the lead role, but because she's a woman in an action film, a usually thankless role that's repurposed competently and without lingering on how the lead performer is one of the sexiest women in the world, instead of the regressive matinee idol who made Knight and Day instead. Plotwise, this isn't the high drama of Changeling, but it's lightyears beyond than Jolie's outings as Lara Croft.

Hell, there's even a decent explanation of why Russians are suddenly the bad guys again, beyond some manner of residual American paranoia about Mutually Assured Destruction. A sleeper agent of the kind that's postulated here, once planted, takes time to come to fruition. In other words, it does just enough to assure audience members like me that some thought went into this, so I was able to just sit back and enjoy some great action scenes and some great suspense without any utterly stupid political intrusions on the part of the filmmakers.

For the first half-hour, Salt never lets up, and it makes for some of the best portion of what you want from a summer blockbuster I've seen all year. It's not in the class of Inception or Toy Story 3 for action setpieces and pacing, but it easily outdoes its more macho counterparts, like The Expendables. Jolie gives a surprisingly earnest performance throughout, and I only wish Noyce and Wimmer hadn't scheduled the most obvious twist at the very end. But if their goal was to launch a new spy franchise, they've succeeded- I'd much rather see Salt 2 than the continuing adventures of Barney Ross and his grumpy old mates.

Salt is now showing at cinemas nationwide.
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If and when you see Salt, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? Aren't you glad I didn't pepper the review with puns about salt?

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Curry Laksa: Singapore's Got Nothin' on Penang

Samantha Brown's Asia: Laksa in Singapore
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In the region of South-east Asia, street food (also known as hawker food) is king. I'm an avid watcher of Travel Channel programs like "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern" and "Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations" and every time either of these two gentlemen travel to Singapore, they usually marvel at how good the street food is in that island republic. I always cringe in horror when I hear that. More recently, Samantha Brown, the host of another travel show on that same cable channel, had her own Singapore experience and as I watched that episode (especially the clip above), my cringe factor increased tenfold! I've had curry laksa in Singapore and I can tell you for a fact that it is lacking in flavor. Any local Singaporean (though they won't freely admit it) will tell you that the best street food can only be found in one place and one place only and it is definitely not Singapore. You may be able to fool the tourists but the locals know better.

Well, I'm here to finally demystify the well-perpetuated misconception of Singapore being the street food capital of the region. Singapore's street food is nothing compared to its neighbor up north, the island of Penang, Malaysia. Penang is commonly known as the Pearl of the Orient and is very famous across the region for its street food. Not only that, the island was recently declared in 2007 as a UNESCO World heritage site. For sure, Penang is certainly the original melting pot of cultures and traditions and a foodie heaven. I've known many Singaporeans who will travel up north to Penang just for a taste of the food. Here's a sample of the best food that Penang has to offer.

OK, full disclosure time. I was born and bred in Penang and lest you think that I'm biased in my opinion, well I really can't deny it. But don't just take my word for it. Next time you travel to that region, make a pit-stop in both Penang and Singapore and just compare the food. I'm sure you will be able to tell the difference right away.

So, Travel Channel producers, please get your facts right. When it comes to street food, Singapore's got nothin' on Penang!

Oh Snap! A Red Snapper with Spicy Kale for Dinner!

One of my favorite fish to cook and also to eat is red snapper, commonly found in the Gulf of Mexico. True to its name, the red snapper is of course, red in color both on the outside and also on the flesh (a tinge). Sold both whole and also in fillets, the red snapper is usually cooked with the skin on, which, when seared, provides a tasty and crunchy texture to the sweet flesh. The firmness of the flesh also makes it easy to sauté without the whole fillet falling apart on you, with the skin helping to keep things together.

Last week, I was able to procure several beautiful and fresh fillets of red snapper. Before cooking, make sure that the fillets have been cleaned properly on the skin side, removing any unwanted scales that may have inadvertently been left behind. To properly cook a red snapper, start with a non-stick pan. Trust me, you'll thank me later. Pour about 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil onto the pan and heat it up real well (until it just starts to smoke). Season both sides of the fillet with salt and pepper and start frying with the skin side first. Check and make sure the skin is brown in color and slightly crispy before flipping it over. When the fish is done, set it aside to cool down.

To prepare the kale, clean it by removing the leaves from the main stem. We'll only be using the leaves because the stem is much to tough to chew. Get a pot of salted water boiling and blanch the kale leaves in it until soft. Remove from the pot and cool it down immediately in cold water. Cooking the kale is so simple. Start by sweating some julienned onions in a pan and then add chopped garlic and cook for another minute. Add the blanched kale plus a pinch of red pepper flakes. Season with salt and pepper and you are done.

As for the other side dish, I decided to do a vegetable hash with diced potato, carrots, mushrooms, onions, garlic and shelled English peas. You can also substitute the peas with edamame (soy beans) if you like. I like to sauté them and season with a little soy sauce instead of salt.

And there you have it, a delicious red snapper recipe with spicy kale and vegetable hash. Enjoy!

Blu-ray Releases & Dinner Pairings: Week of August 16th, 2010

After a lackluster week of Blu-ray releases where the only highlight was Steve Carell and Tina Fey's only slightly-amusing comedy "Date Night," this week is no different but with two noteworthy films, one a must-see Showtime series and the other, a South Korean action adventure Western (if you can call it that) modeled after Indiana Jones and Q. Tarantino.

So may I present to you.....this week's dynamic duo of Blu-ray release highlights:

 

Anyone who is familiar with the amazing Showtime TV series, "Dexter," needs no further introduction into the world of  Dexter Morgan ("Six Feet Under"'s Michael C. Hall), who lives a, shall we say, unique dual life: Miami PD's blood analysis expert by day and bad guy serial killer by night. No, no, Dexter's not the bad guy here. His serial killing spree only involves killing the bad guys that manage to wriggle themselves out of the criminal justice system. Yes, Dexter's a serial killer who only kills bad guys. Those are his rules and he follows them to a T. In Season Three, things got a little complicated and the lines got muddied when Miami's high-flying District Attorney, Ramon Prado, played by Jimmy Smits, inexplicably got involved with Dexter's murderous activities and wanted in on the action! To add on to Dexter's mounting problems, his girlfriend Rita (Julie Benz) tells him that she's pregnant. While the third season wrapped itself up pretty neatly, the final scene where Dexter dances with Rita on their wedding day (as we see blood dripping from his hidden injured arm onto Rita's white wedding dress) only hints of any future bloodbath ahead.

So here's Season 4 and Dexter's now a family man, with a new addition to the family, his son, Harrison. Also new this season is Dexter's adversary, the Trinity Killer, a serial killer who kills 3 people at a time in a very specific sequence. How Dexter deftly reconciles his new family life and his old serial killer life is the new challenge for the season. And boy, what a season it is. Do not, I repeat, do not miss "Dexter: The Fourth Season" or you will regret it.

Food Pairing: While one may think to add the appropriately-themed blood sausage to their diet in honor of "Dexter"'s blood-filled adventures, may I suggest a more timid concoction: a Bloody Mary of course! This classic cocktail containing vodka, tomato juice, cayenne pepper, Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice should be the official drink of choice when watching "Dexter."

Next, we have, from South Korea, another in a long line of quality films from the peninsula. Following the excellent Hitchcockian mystery, "Mother," we now have a fun action-filled romp through the Mongolian desert with  "The Good, the Bad, the Weird," a play on the Sergio Leone classic title, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." Taking place some time in 1930's Manchuria, the film takes us on a giddy journey of unbridled greed and the violence it attracts, all centered around a mysterious treasure map. Here is my review of the film on DVD at the site DVDTown.

Food Pairing: For this action-packed adventure, may I suggest the Korean version of the Japanese sushi, gimbap or kimbap. It is steamed white rice (not vinegared) wrapped/rolled in seaweed paper (nori) together with other ingredients like crab meat, shrimp, omelette, roasted beef, vegetable, etc. Very much like sushi but without the vinegar in the rice. Here's a great site for healthy gimbap recipes. It is bite-sized and a pleasing appetizer for when watching fun action Korean flicks!

Rambo 5 (And Friends!)- THE EXPENDABLES Review

As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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Action fans can scarcely have missed this, because the most anticipated throwback in cinemas this summer is The Expendables. The titular mercenaries are played by Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews and Randy Couture, so it's a big old clusterfuck of a team-up. They're dispatched to a somewhat fictional South American island to overthrow a dictatorship. No, really, that's it.

If you've been paying attention to the trailers for this film, you'll have noticed the advertising hasn't been heavy on plot. That could mean that it's not giving anything away, which would be good, or it actually means that there isn't much of a plot. I'm sure you'll tell me if I'm wrong, but I thought this should be to action fans what The Five Doctors is to Doctor Who fans, or what the highly anticipated film version of The Avengers will be to Marvel fans. A plot with a central threat and motivation that no single one of these action heroes could have solved on their own, even in their prime, hence the massive collaboration.

Instead, there's a screenplay that bears more than a passing likeness to Rambo, territory we entered just two years ago. Even with a character we knew very well, that film wasn't all that good. And this new one that reminded me as much of Son of Rambow as of Stallone's last outing- the story is the kind of adolescent flight of fancy played so well in that film, but taken much more seriously and done without a flying dog or evil scarecrow.

The difficulty of reviewing The Expendables is in the fact that I'm not going to use the word "awesome" throughout, and that will already get this film's target audience shaking its head and asking what the hell I know anyway. Yeah, it's pretty much review-proof, but hey- I wanted to like this a lot more, so I'll just explain the parts that brought it down for me, and see how that sounds to you.

The violence, which this 15 certificate film was apparently destined to bring back to cinemas in a big way, is pretty routine. I can't deny that the last half hour is a hardcore head-sploding orgasm for action fans, but that's more in choreography than in the actual gore. The gore is cartoonish and, much to my chagrin, CGI. Certain things are done to hundreds of nameless bad guys that you obviously can't do to an actor just to make the film look cool. When have you ever seen CGI fluid dynamics- particularly when blood is involved- done well in live-action? Don't expect The Expendables to be a game-changer on that score.

As you'd suspect from the under-powered plot, it's better in concept than in execution. The promise of bringing a bunch of big action stars together isn't entirely delivered upon, and in any case, there isn't a villain to match up to their combined might. What this needed was a Vernon Wells in Commando or some other over-the-top crazy bad guy right out of the films this is supposed to homage. Crucially, if this had been made in the 1980s or 1990s, it wouldn't be remembered in much higher regard than say, Nighthawks or The Specialist.

And the list of stars who declined to appear is greater than those who consented- bet you miss Jean Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal and Kurt Russell here, for starters. The arguable highlight is the union of the three properly important action stars of the 1980s- Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm going to tell you in advance, so you're not disappointed- you've seen the most part of Arnie's cameo in the trailer. What remains isn't special. Never fear though, there's still plenty of Randy Couture! No, me neither. There's  already a sequel mooted, potentially with more action stars along for the ride, but Stallone should really think about utilising them better than he did here before he puts pen to paper.

If you're still shaking your head, you can stop now, because it's really not all bad. Jason Statham is relentlessly watchable in any action film he turns his hand to, and regularly upstages the supposed legends, while Jet Li excels in the position of Stallone's old favourite- the underdog. Any fight scene either of these guys appear in is pretty superb, with Li busting out the martial arts and Statham flinging knives like a man possessed. It's also nice to see Eric Roberts. Not that I want to see him in a film next month, or even next year, but it's good that we get him in small doses, in films like this and The Dark Knight.

Mickey Rourke is the real underused talent in this one too, getting the dialogue that's closest to defining any actual character in this thing. It doesn't help that he shot this at the same time as Iron Man 2 and thus still looks like Whiplash, because it only makes it more obvious that Stallone now looks like someone left Tony Stark out in the sun for too long.

We've seen Stallone act better than this, and he's also written better scripts than this one. Just see how many of the excruciatingly unfunny scenes of camaraderie you can withstand. His direction has its faults, as shaky-cam sits entirely uncomfortably with his brand of action cinema, but I can't fault certain parts of the action choreography. Watch out for the scene that's already being acclaimed as Jason Statham's R2D2 scene.

It's a film where Dolph Lundgren is fourth-billed, showing in cinemas, so to many fans of its stars, the flaws will be the minor part of a gory, hyper-masculine flashback to the films they grew up with. Fewer will notice that Lundgren's character has a patently ridiculous character arc that reaches the absolute apex of stupidity that an action film can reach, with Stallone wanting to feed that character his cake as well as just giving it to him.

For me, The Expendables could have been better. Maybe I just need to quit bitching about a film that's actually pretty substantial and entertaining, but it's a film that I think will suffer from repeat viewings, and which will find a backlash on DVD, once people get over the thrill of seeing violence of this pedigree on the big screen. Especially once they realise there's CG-gore in it.

Then again, the inverse will be true for me. In around three or four years, I'll come in from a night out drinking, complete with takeaway pizza, and this will be on TV. And I bet when that night comes, I'll enjoy the shit out of it.

The Expendables is showing at cinemas nationwide from 18th August.
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If and when you see The Expendables, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? Why was I so disappointed? Well, because this trailer gets me more excited than the actual film did!



I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.