Hot Off the Wok - Stir-fried Kai Lan with Shrimp
Kai lan (also known as Chinese broccoli or Chinese kale) is a leafy vegetable frequently used in Chinese cuisine, mostly as a stir-fried dish. It consists of large green leaves, thick stems and flowering buds similar to those found in broccoli. It is a very traditional Chinese ingredient (the name itself says it all) and is best cooked as a stir-fry dish or steamed (or boiled). When steamed, it is served with an oyster sauce and sesame oil concoction.
As for this stir-fry dish, here are the ingredients that you'll need:
1 lb kai lan (cut off about an inch or two off the bottom stem)
1/2 lb shrimps (shelled)
1/2 lb button mushrooms (quartered)
2 carrots (sliced)
1 teaspoon of minced fresh ginger
1/2 an onion (julienned)
3 cloves of garlic
1 teaspoon oyster sauce
Salt and ground black pepper to taste
Heat up some oil in your wok. Start by sautรฉing the onions and carrots until soft. Add the shrimp and cook until it turns orange-red. Then add the garlic and ginger and cook for another minute. Finally add the kai lan, mushrooms and oyster sauce. Mix up the ingredients in the wok well and add about half a cup of water and cover the wok. When the kai lan is tender, the dish is ready. Plate it and serve. Enjoy!
Bloody Fuckin' Yeaah.
As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
Kick-Ass begins with the musings of Dave Lizewski, a horny and unpopular high-school kid who has just one question- why has nobody ever tried to be a superhero before? It seems to him that everyone wants to help their fellow man, but without superpowers, few have the balls to actually do it. As you would, Dave goes and orders a scuba outfit and a luchadore mask off the Internet and becomes Kick-Ass. With the city of New York in the grip of an unscrupulous mobster called Frank D'Amico, Dave fails to realise that he's not the only hero on the scene, soon colluding with father and daughter crime-fighting duo Big Daddy and Hit-Girl. With no power, comes no responsibility.
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Holy shit. Just... wow. I'm calling it now, there will not be another film as entertaining, as brilliant or as downright demented as Kick-Ass this year. I'd be happy to be proven wrong there, because the only thing on my mind coming out of this was how soon I could see it again, and just one film like this is enough to make 2010 pretty fucking special. It's really that good.
This sets the bar high for all future comic book adaptations in more ways than one. Not only is it hard to think of one yet released that's as great, but it also closely mirrors the plot of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man, both mocking and celebrating the structure of that film. Its central mantra (see above) echoes the sombre one-liner delivered by Uncle Ben and there's a parallel with the relationship between the villain and the villain's son.
If the planned Spider-Man reboot (still a bad idea by the way) or any other superhero origin tale sticks to that same structure now, it will pale in comparison with this marvellous and loving parody of those conventions. No longer is it acceptable for Peter Parker to whup ass the very first time he dons red and blue tights, instead of ending up in hospital. Marc Webb has to nut up or shut up on that film, especially after Kick-Ass.
Of course, it's broader than that, also ribbing Superman and Batman in its nebbish representation of the monomyth. Aaron Johnson is terrific as Dave, instantly believable as a high-school pariah and yet you're also able to empathise with him right away. But just as his John Lennon was outshone in last year's Nowhere Boy, so is his title character outshone by Nicolas Cage and Chloe Moretz.
Yeah, I know, everyone's going to be talking about these two, but there's a fucking good reason for that. They're both incredible, as Big Daddy and Hit-Girl respectively, and I can't stress that enough. I've been saying for a while that Cage's niche is comedy rather than the professorial action roles he's been doing these last few years, and happily I was right. He's a hilariously violent and demented reincarnation of Adam West's Batman, clad in a costume reminiscent of Nolan's Batman.
And of course all of the controversy and hype have equally centred on Moritz. She sells the idea of an 11-year-old psychopath better than you'd ever imagine, and undercuts some of the poignancy around her character's lost childhood by just being so fucking hilarious. She's this year's equivalent of Heath Ledger's Joker- everyone who sees this will go ape-shit for Hit-Girl.
As for the rest of the cast, Mark Strong gives another reliable and villainous turn as D'Amico, while Christopher Mintz-Plasse might actually shake off the stigma of forever being McLovin' from Superbad with this performance as his son. It's fairly distinct from that more famous role, and he certainly holds his own amongst a flood of amazing comedy performances that might have well seen him sink the film instead. Really, he was one of the only things I was worried about when I went in, and he really surpassed all expectations.
You might have gathered that it lampoons comic movies, but there's a realistic undercurrent to all the admiring cartoonishness- in the world of Kick-Ass, you very much have to be rather unbalanced to go around fighting crime in a costume. Dave compares the enactment of his fantasies to being a serial killer at an early point in the film, and much of the central joke for the first hour or so is how outlandish the concept is- how ridiculous Dave looks walking down the street as Kick-Ass in broad daylight. You could never accuse the comedy of merely taking refuge in audacity though, because this is more or less laugh a minute for much of its running time.
When the joke starts to wear off with the idea of real-life superheroes, the emergent storyline picks up the slack. You care about Big Daddy's crusade, and about Dave pretending to be gay to impress the object of his affection, and about Chris' need for his father's approval. In this much, it's a totally immersive film. For instance, you might start out feeling bad for laughing at some of the more insane humour, but it draws you in with likable if not identifiable characters. And you'll stick with it even at its most outlandish.
A lot of people will claim that this glorifies violence, and that no one can really deny that it's not for the weak of stomach. To the latter, yeah, alright- go and see The Blind Side or something else if you're squeamish about that sort of thing. To the former, fuck no. If you think these characters are glamorous and come out of Kick-Ass wanting to be a superhero, seek help. It's sheer entertainment, and with a 15 certificate it's not really pushing the borders of decency anyway. And besides, the fight choreography and editing are really well done, so it's worth seeing for that too, amongst the nice choice of music, the performances, the cinematography, the gleeful deployment of the old Chekov's bazooka trope and... well, everything else about it.
I'll level with you, because if I'd have said this at the beginning, you might have listened and then not read a word I had to say. Critics and reviewers can't tell you about Kick-Ass. The Daily Mail will shit kittens and blame Jonathan Ross as they try to stir up a moral panic. Elsewhere, there might be some more positive rhetoric flying around like "Watchmen and Shoot 'Em Up in Quentin Tarantino's blender" or something like that. If that sells it to you, then fine.
But no, even if they like it, they can't tell you. Go and see this film. There's a pleasing sequel hook at the end that I would really love to see fulfilled if the cast and crew are capable of sustaining even half the level of awesomeness that this film keeps level for a whole two hours. I can only really sell it to you as two hours of sheer awesome, and hope to hell you go and see it. Thank me later. Bloody fuckin' yeaaah.
Kick-Ass is currently previewing in selected cinemas, and goes on wide release from April 2nd. So if you see it, and you bloody should, why not share your comments on the film and on my review below?
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
Kick-Ass begins with the musings of Dave Lizewski, a horny and unpopular high-school kid who has just one question- why has nobody ever tried to be a superhero before? It seems to him that everyone wants to help their fellow man, but without superpowers, few have the balls to actually do it. As you would, Dave goes and orders a scuba outfit and a luchadore mask off the Internet and becomes Kick-Ass. With the city of New York in the grip of an unscrupulous mobster called Frank D'Amico, Dave fails to realise that he's not the only hero on the scene, soon colluding with father and daughter crime-fighting duo Big Daddy and Hit-Girl. With no power, comes no responsibility.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Holy shit. Just... wow. I'm calling it now, there will not be another film as entertaining, as brilliant or as downright demented as Kick-Ass this year. I'd be happy to be proven wrong there, because the only thing on my mind coming out of this was how soon I could see it again, and just one film like this is enough to make 2010 pretty fucking special. It's really that good.This sets the bar high for all future comic book adaptations in more ways than one. Not only is it hard to think of one yet released that's as great, but it also closely mirrors the plot of Sam Raimi's Spider-Man, both mocking and celebrating the structure of that film. Its central mantra (see above) echoes the sombre one-liner delivered by Uncle Ben and there's a parallel with the relationship between the villain and the villain's son.
If the planned Spider-Man reboot (still a bad idea by the way) or any other superhero origin tale sticks to that same structure now, it will pale in comparison with this marvellous and loving parody of those conventions. No longer is it acceptable for Peter Parker to whup ass the very first time he dons red and blue tights, instead of ending up in hospital. Marc Webb has to nut up or shut up on that film, especially after Kick-Ass.
Of course, it's broader than that, also ribbing Superman and Batman in its nebbish representation of the monomyth. Aaron Johnson is terrific as Dave, instantly believable as a high-school pariah and yet you're also able to empathise with him right away. But just as his John Lennon was outshone in last year's Nowhere Boy, so is his title character outshone by Nicolas Cage and Chloe Moretz.
Yeah, I know, everyone's going to be talking about these two, but there's a fucking good reason for that. They're both incredible, as Big Daddy and Hit-Girl respectively, and I can't stress that enough. I've been saying for a while that Cage's niche is comedy rather than the professorial action roles he's been doing these last few years, and happily I was right. He's a hilariously violent and demented reincarnation of Adam West's Batman, clad in a costume reminiscent of Nolan's Batman.And of course all of the controversy and hype have equally centred on Moritz. She sells the idea of an 11-year-old psychopath better than you'd ever imagine, and undercuts some of the poignancy around her character's lost childhood by just being so fucking hilarious. She's this year's equivalent of Heath Ledger's Joker- everyone who sees this will go ape-shit for Hit-Girl.
As for the rest of the cast, Mark Strong gives another reliable and villainous turn as D'Amico, while Christopher Mintz-Plasse might actually shake off the stigma of forever being McLovin' from Superbad with this performance as his son. It's fairly distinct from that more famous role, and he certainly holds his own amongst a flood of amazing comedy performances that might have well seen him sink the film instead. Really, he was one of the only things I was worried about when I went in, and he really surpassed all expectations.
You might have gathered that it lampoons comic movies, but there's a realistic undercurrent to all the admiring cartoonishness- in the world of Kick-Ass, you very much have to be rather unbalanced to go around fighting crime in a costume. Dave compares the enactment of his fantasies to being a serial killer at an early point in the film, and much of the central joke for the first hour or so is how outlandish the concept is- how ridiculous Dave looks walking down the street as Kick-Ass in broad daylight. You could never accuse the comedy of merely taking refuge in audacity though, because this is more or less laugh a minute for much of its running time.
When the joke starts to wear off with the idea of real-life superheroes, the emergent storyline picks up the slack. You care about Big Daddy's crusade, and about Dave pretending to be gay to impress the object of his affection, and about Chris' need for his father's approval. In this much, it's a totally immersive film. For instance, you might start out feeling bad for laughing at some of the more insane humour, but it draws you in with likable if not identifiable characters. And you'll stick with it even at its most outlandish.A lot of people will claim that this glorifies violence, and that no one can really deny that it's not for the weak of stomach. To the latter, yeah, alright- go and see The Blind Side or something else if you're squeamish about that sort of thing. To the former, fuck no. If you think these characters are glamorous and come out of Kick-Ass wanting to be a superhero, seek help. It's sheer entertainment, and with a 15 certificate it's not really pushing the borders of decency anyway. And besides, the fight choreography and editing are really well done, so it's worth seeing for that too, amongst the nice choice of music, the performances, the cinematography, the gleeful deployment of the old Chekov's bazooka trope and... well, everything else about it.
I'll level with you, because if I'd have said this at the beginning, you might have listened and then not read a word I had to say. Critics and reviewers can't tell you about Kick-Ass. The Daily Mail will shit kittens and blame Jonathan Ross as they try to stir up a moral panic. Elsewhere, there might be some more positive rhetoric flying around like "Watchmen and Shoot 'Em Up in Quentin Tarantino's blender" or something like that. If that sells it to you, then fine.
But no, even if they like it, they can't tell you. Go and see this film. There's a pleasing sequel hook at the end that I would really love to see fulfilled if the cast and crew are capable of sustaining even half the level of awesomeness that this film keeps level for a whole two hours. I can only really sell it to you as two hours of sheer awesome, and hope to hell you go and see it. Thank me later. Bloody fuckin' yeaaah.
Kick-Ass is currently previewing in selected cinemas, and goes on wide release from April 2nd. So if you see it, and you bloody should, why not share your comments on the film and on my review below?
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
Where The Grass Is Greener
Following the quite fantastic step-up in quality that Paul Greengrass brought to Jason Bourne with the latter two films of that trilogy, he's teamed up with Matt Damon once again to bring us Green Zone, an action thriller set around the conflict in Iraq and the search for weapons of mass destruction.
Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller is getting fed up with the unreliable intelligence his investigation is being hindered by. In questioning the veracity of the source, mysteriously named Magellan, he uncovers the political machinations behind the war and goes rogue to uncover the truth. As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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Last week's I Love You Phillip Morris opened with a title card saying "this really happened, it really did", yet somehow this sentiment is more desperately emblazoned across Green Zone. Of course the presumably unforeseen difficulty in bringing the subject matter to the screen is that we don't know everything that happened in the war just yet.
Indeed, the conflict is still ongoing. As yet, it does not have any historical weight, and so as a statement of "this really happened", it has approximately as much value as Titanic.
To say this feels a little harsh on what is essentially a taut and competently realised action thriller, as is expected from Greengrass, but in the wake of The Hurt Locker, it can only be seen that films about the conflict in Iraq are better when they're divorced from the politics.
Moreover, it does border on becoming visually incomprehensible at times. The shaky-cam aesthetic that was so acclaimed in the Bourne films becomes grating here, and certain action sequences are as obscured as watching through the lens of a hyperactive five-year-old jumping up and down in their seat.
This at least is a little more immersive than any 3D film yet released, because if you're really in the middle of a car-chase, there is no tripod holding your head still to calmly take in the action. Nevertheless, using it every time someone walks across a street or gets into a car gets tiring.
There are still some excellent action sequences, particularly the final scramble to extract Magellan from a Baghdad in the midst of a shock-and-awe campaign.
The worst you can really say about Green Zone is that Paul Greengrass makes the best film possible out of a less than inspired concept. The conspiracy element is at its most clunky when it deploys footage of Bush's "Mission Accomplished" fiasco, and it's less a thinking man's action film than a disengaged political statement that often reaches further than it can grasp.
Still, it's technically adept and is bolstered by a number of great performances from Matt Damon, Brendan Gleeson and Greg Kinnear. Jason Isaacs nearly steals the show with some magnificent facial furniture and a flawless American accent.
I have to admit, it's always satisfying even to see a less than brilliant film from Greengrass, whose penchant for realism always results in films that are high in adrenaline and thrills, even if this one is low on actual substance behind its admonitions.
Green Zone is still showing in cinemas nationwide, so if you've seen it, why not share your comments on the film and on my review below?
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller is getting fed up with the unreliable intelligence his investigation is being hindered by. In questioning the veracity of the source, mysteriously named Magellan, he uncovers the political machinations behind the war and goes rogue to uncover the truth. As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Last week's I Love You Phillip Morris opened with a title card saying "this really happened, it really did", yet somehow this sentiment is more desperately emblazoned across Green Zone. Of course the presumably unforeseen difficulty in bringing the subject matter to the screen is that we don't know everything that happened in the war just yet.Indeed, the conflict is still ongoing. As yet, it does not have any historical weight, and so as a statement of "this really happened", it has approximately as much value as Titanic.
To say this feels a little harsh on what is essentially a taut and competently realised action thriller, as is expected from Greengrass, but in the wake of The Hurt Locker, it can only be seen that films about the conflict in Iraq are better when they're divorced from the politics.
Moreover, it does border on becoming visually incomprehensible at times. The shaky-cam aesthetic that was so acclaimed in the Bourne films becomes grating here, and certain action sequences are as obscured as watching through the lens of a hyperactive five-year-old jumping up and down in their seat.
This at least is a little more immersive than any 3D film yet released, because if you're really in the middle of a car-chase, there is no tripod holding your head still to calmly take in the action. Nevertheless, using it every time someone walks across a street or gets into a car gets tiring.
There are still some excellent action sequences, particularly the final scramble to extract Magellan from a Baghdad in the midst of a shock-and-awe campaign.
The worst you can really say about Green Zone is that Paul Greengrass makes the best film possible out of a less than inspired concept. The conspiracy element is at its most clunky when it deploys footage of Bush's "Mission Accomplished" fiasco, and it's less a thinking man's action film than a disengaged political statement that often reaches further than it can grasp.
Still, it's technically adept and is bolstered by a number of great performances from Matt Damon, Brendan Gleeson and Greg Kinnear. Jason Isaacs nearly steals the show with some magnificent facial furniture and a flawless American accent.
I have to admit, it's always satisfying even to see a less than brilliant film from Greengrass, whose penchant for realism always results in films that are high in adrenaline and thrills, even if this one is low on actual substance behind its admonitions.
Green Zone is still showing in cinemas nationwide, so if you've seen it, why not share your comments on the film and on my review below?
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
The Flavor Bible
Every once in a while, someone would come up to me and ask if there is a single cookbook that I can do without in the kitchen. My answer would always be The Flavor Bible: The Essential Guide to Culinary Creativity, Based on the Wisdom of America's Most Imaginative Chefs
by Karen Page and Andrew Dornenburg. It is not a cookbook per se but is an essential guide for any aspiring home chefs looking to put their creative juices to the test and come up with great new flavors. The book goes through almost every imaginable ingredient--from herbs and spices to kobe beef and garam masala--and lists down all other ingredients that go well with it, highlighting the classic (and sometime surprising) pairings (listed as "Flavor Affinities" in the book) along with quotes from famous chefs briefly noting how they use said ingredients in their restaurants. This book can be perceived as a compilation of sorts but I see it more like an encompassing reference guide whenever I have a certain ingredient that I'm looking to use but can't think of what should go with it. Laid out in alphabetical order--starting with achiote seeds and ending with zucchini blossoms--The Flavor Bible is the only book I would need if I was stuck on a desert island with foreign ingredients on hand. It is MY essential guide to the culinary world. It should be yours too!Highly recommended.
Asian-Style Chicken Stew - A One Pot Meal
1.5 lbs chicken thighs, drumsticks and breasts
3 medium-sized carrots (diced)
3 Yukon Gold potatoes (diced)
3 stalks of celery (cut into 1-inch segments)
2 medium-sized onions (diced)
1 cup of frozen peas
4 cloves garlic (minced)
4 sprigs of thyme
2 bay leaves
2 sticks of cinnamon
1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon Lee Kum Kee Vegetable Stir-fry Sauce
1 tablespoon Shaoxing wine (Chinese rice cooking wine - sherry can be used as a substitute)
Salt or soy sauce to taste
Water
Prepare the chicken pieces by removing the excess fat and the skin as well (if you don't like them). I would cut up the breasts into at least a couple of pieces to facilitate the cooking process. Now remember, all you need is one pot to do all your cooking in. Get your stock pot up to temperature with about 1 tablespoon of cooking oil. Start by sautรฉing the cinnamon sticks until you smell a nice aroma wafting through the kitchen. Then add all the vegetables (potatoes, celery onions, carrots, peas and garlic) and sautรฉ until slightly browned.
Remove the contents of the pot into a big bowl temporarily and let's sautรฉ the chicken next. When the chicken turns slightly brown, add the vegetables back into the pot and stir to mix everything up thoroughly. Add the thyme, bay leaves, whole black peppercorns, Shaoxing wine and stir-fry sauce and stir again. Let the pot simmer for about 3 - 5 minutes and then add enough water to just cover almost all the contents in the pot. Cover and bring down the heat to medium low and let the pot simmer for about 45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked.
Adventures in Babyshitting
Douglas Adams famously posited the number 42 as the answer to the meaning of life, the universe and everything. Regrettably, there's nothing so profound in the two films the 42nd Mad Prophet review post covers. Instead, we have two fairly lamentable family films, with the downright awesome Jackie Chan having another jab at the English language market in The Spy Next Door and Seth Green being embraced by a gorilla in Old Dogs. As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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Although you'd never know it from the advertising, there's more of a story to Old Dogs than just Seth Green serenading a gorilla after it grabs him and cradles him like a baby. Robin Williams and John Travolta play two life-long friends, Dan and Charlie, who are about to enter into a huge sports-marketing deal with some Japanese businessmen. A chance meeting with an old flame of Dan's throws up the surprise revelation that he once fathered two twins, Zach and Emily. With their political activist mother about to spend two weeks in jail, the impractical bachelors have to babysit the twins, learning about family along the way. Yes, I actually gagged typing that last bit.
Even though it's the hackneyed family-centric hi-jinks that Disney's live-action arm is known for when there isn't a Pirates of the Caribbean film on screens, it's baffling to think this came out of the House of Mouse. Besides being homophobic, xenophobic, ageist and generally not funny, it's about a corporate back-and-forth! You know, for kids! There is little that approaches any recognisable level of entertainment value, with the exception of that Green-gorilla gag, which you've seen a million times if you've seen any trailers or posters, and a nice cameo from Justin Long. He plays a creepy and intense Scoutmaster, and I'm not really doing him justice to describe it that way. He provides welcome titters in the wasteland that is Old Dogs, and acquits himself fairly well.
The rest of the cast? Well, they can do better. The most galling thing is that they all know they can do better. Robin Williams was in Good Will Hunting and Jumanji, exhibiting a great versatility for different target audiences- here he's spray-tanned to the extent that he's mistaken for an Asian guy. Matt Dillon was one of the better parts of the racial tensions potboiler Crash- here he's the less funny foil to Long's psychotic outdoors man. John Travolta... no, fuck him. I'm not a fan, and he's one of the only actors working who I genuinely think needs to stop. The last halfway passable performance he gave was voicing the title character in Bolt, not to mention the fact that he's largely to blame for Battlefield Earth. So between this and From Paris With Love, fuck John Travolta!
Put simply, Old Dogs is garbage. Director Walt Becker seems to be daring reviewers to make the obvious "get it put down" pun with the title, but as I'm showing more ingenuity than anyone in that film, here is a short list of other bits of dog rhetoric that can be attributed this film.
1. It's less fun than rabies.
2. It leaves the taste of balls in your mouth.
3. An old, blind, deaf specimen that's loping around cinemas pissing on the carpet and smiling dopily at the audience as it does.
And I could go on. But this is not worth your time, not worth your money, barely even worth its existence. It doesn't quite count as one of the five 2010 films worse than Valentine's Day that would have me stop going to the cinema, but it comes very damn close.
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Elsewhere, Jackie Chan once again capably demonstrates why he's the best action/comedy star in the world in The Spy Next Door, a demonstration that in no part has anything to do with the lamentable script. But here's the story anyway- Chan plays special agent Bob Ho, who retires from his life of international espionage in order to try and build a normal life with his neigbour and girlfriend, Gillian. As is par for the course in these films, she has three children- Farren, Ian and Nora- who don't like Bob much. Bob's left holding the kids while Gillian's away, but Ian's inadvertent download of a deadly computer program puts all of them in danger.
Have you noticed how, when Jackie Chan is surrounded by dumb Americans in a film, he usually inflicts hilarious violence upon them and gets on with whatever he's doing? Doesn't happen in real life, as evidenced by the utter fail on show from this film's actors, writers and director. But besides all of this, Chan is excellent. He's Jackie fucking Chan, of course he's excellent. Chan has much better comic timing than he seems to be given credit for, and one of the films I'd really love to see in my lifetime would be a Jackie Chan silent comedy. He already has the right sensibilities for it in all of his work, and Hollywood would finally learn how to utilise that talent. In the meantime, my head movies aren't real, and we just have to make do with The Spy Next Door.
Now, I've never hit a kid. I suspect utterly drubbing the work of a child actor would have a similarly upsetting effect if said child read said drubbing, but my word, this film has the worst child actors I can remember seeing in a film. Emo girl is whiny, adorable kid is adorable, and nerdy kid is nebbish until Bob transforms him into... the Fonz? When the hell was this script written?! I'd assumed sometime after the success of The Pacifier, to which this film owes a debt that the Vin Diesel film really didn't warrant. The adult cast don't fare any better than the kids, particularly Katherine Boecher and Lazytown creator Magnรบs Scheving, who both adopt Russian accents that are sub-Ensign Chekov. Also, Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez are in need of a firm kick. Yknow, just for being Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez. Chan outshines every single one of them, and very much makes the whole thing worthwhile.
God love Jackie Chan, he keeps making bad films whenever he forays into the English language these days. That makes his part in The Spy Next Door all the more exceptional, drawing laughs out of a mirthless script like blood from a stone. At 55 years old, he's still at the top of his game in the martial-arts stakes, and he really gets comedy too. His next is a remake of The Karate Kid, starring Will Smith's kid. I can but dream of a Jackie Chan silent comedy, because it's the kind of thing that would just complete my life. In the meantime, don't go and see this one unless you're a big fan of Chan or your kids want to know how not to act.
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If you've seen Old Dogs, may God have mercy on your soul. But if you're similarly enthused by Jackie Chan even in spite of his utter misuse by Hollywood, why not share your comments below? If you wanna know what's next up, I imagine it'll be a much-delayed review of Green Zone in the run-up to the anticipated tantric explosion that'll come after I see Kick-Ass on Friday.
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
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Although you'd never know it from the advertising, there's more of a story to Old Dogs than just Seth Green serenading a gorilla after it grabs him and cradles him like a baby. Robin Williams and John Travolta play two life-long friends, Dan and Charlie, who are about to enter into a huge sports-marketing deal with some Japanese businessmen. A chance meeting with an old flame of Dan's throws up the surprise revelation that he once fathered two twins, Zach and Emily. With their political activist mother about to spend two weeks in jail, the impractical bachelors have to babysit the twins, learning about family along the way. Yes, I actually gagged typing that last bit.Even though it's the hackneyed family-centric hi-jinks that Disney's live-action arm is known for when there isn't a Pirates of the Caribbean film on screens, it's baffling to think this came out of the House of Mouse. Besides being homophobic, xenophobic, ageist and generally not funny, it's about a corporate back-and-forth! You know, for kids! There is little that approaches any recognisable level of entertainment value, with the exception of that Green-gorilla gag, which you've seen a million times if you've seen any trailers or posters, and a nice cameo from Justin Long. He plays a creepy and intense Scoutmaster, and I'm not really doing him justice to describe it that way. He provides welcome titters in the wasteland that is Old Dogs, and acquits himself fairly well.
The rest of the cast? Well, they can do better. The most galling thing is that they all know they can do better. Robin Williams was in Good Will Hunting and Jumanji, exhibiting a great versatility for different target audiences- here he's spray-tanned to the extent that he's mistaken for an Asian guy. Matt Dillon was one of the better parts of the racial tensions potboiler Crash- here he's the less funny foil to Long's psychotic outdoors man. John Travolta... no, fuck him. I'm not a fan, and he's one of the only actors working who I genuinely think needs to stop. The last halfway passable performance he gave was voicing the title character in Bolt, not to mention the fact that he's largely to blame for Battlefield Earth. So between this and From Paris With Love, fuck John Travolta!Put simply, Old Dogs is garbage. Director Walt Becker seems to be daring reviewers to make the obvious "get it put down" pun with the title, but as I'm showing more ingenuity than anyone in that film, here is a short list of other bits of dog rhetoric that can be attributed this film.
1. It's less fun than rabies.
2. It leaves the taste of balls in your mouth.
3. An old, blind, deaf specimen that's loping around cinemas pissing on the carpet and smiling dopily at the audience as it does.
And I could go on. But this is not worth your time, not worth your money, barely even worth its existence. It doesn't quite count as one of the five 2010 films worse than Valentine's Day that would have me stop going to the cinema, but it comes very damn close.
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Elsewhere, Jackie Chan once again capably demonstrates why he's the best action/comedy star in the world in The Spy Next Door, a demonstration that in no part has anything to do with the lamentable script. But here's the story anyway- Chan plays special agent Bob Ho, who retires from his life of international espionage in order to try and build a normal life with his neigbour and girlfriend, Gillian. As is par for the course in these films, she has three children- Farren, Ian and Nora- who don't like Bob much. Bob's left holding the kids while Gillian's away, but Ian's inadvertent download of a deadly computer program puts all of them in danger.Have you noticed how, when Jackie Chan is surrounded by dumb Americans in a film, he usually inflicts hilarious violence upon them and gets on with whatever he's doing? Doesn't happen in real life, as evidenced by the utter fail on show from this film's actors, writers and director. But besides all of this, Chan is excellent. He's Jackie fucking Chan, of course he's excellent. Chan has much better comic timing than he seems to be given credit for, and one of the films I'd really love to see in my lifetime would be a Jackie Chan silent comedy. He already has the right sensibilities for it in all of his work, and Hollywood would finally learn how to utilise that talent. In the meantime, my head movies aren't real, and we just have to make do with The Spy Next Door.
Now, I've never hit a kid. I suspect utterly drubbing the work of a child actor would have a similarly upsetting effect if said child read said drubbing, but my word, this film has the worst child actors I can remember seeing in a film. Emo girl is whiny, adorable kid is adorable, and nerdy kid is nebbish until Bob transforms him into... the Fonz? When the hell was this script written?! I'd assumed sometime after the success of The Pacifier, to which this film owes a debt that the Vin Diesel film really didn't warrant. The adult cast don't fare any better than the kids, particularly Katherine Boecher and Lazytown creator Magnรบs Scheving, who both adopt Russian accents that are sub-Ensign Chekov. Also, Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez are in need of a firm kick. Yknow, just for being Billy Ray Cyrus and George Lopez. Chan outshines every single one of them, and very much makes the whole thing worthwhile.God love Jackie Chan, he keeps making bad films whenever he forays into the English language these days. That makes his part in The Spy Next Door all the more exceptional, drawing laughs out of a mirthless script like blood from a stone. At 55 years old, he's still at the top of his game in the martial-arts stakes, and he really gets comedy too. His next is a remake of The Karate Kid, starring Will Smith's kid. I can but dream of a Jackie Chan silent comedy, because it's the kind of thing that would just complete my life. In the meantime, don't go and see this one unless you're a big fan of Chan or your kids want to know how not to act.
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If you've seen Old Dogs, may God have mercy on your soul. But if you're similarly enthused by Jackie Chan even in spite of his utter misuse by Hollywood, why not share your comments below? If you wanna know what's next up, I imagine it'll be a much-delayed review of Green Zone in the run-up to the anticipated tantric explosion that'll come after I see Kick-Ass on Friday.
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
Sun-dried Tomato Cream Sauce
Getting back to our sun-dried tomato cream sauce, here are the ingredients needed to make it:
8 oz. sun-dried tomatoes (julienned)
2 plum tomatoes (deseeded & diced) - optional
3 fresh basil leaves (or 1 teaspoon of dried basil flakes)
1/2 teaspoon of dried oregano
Half an onion (diced)
5 cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon of ketchup
3 cups of heavy cream
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon of white wine
4 oz. unsalted butter
Salt & pepper to taste
Start off by melting the butter in a saucepan. Add the onions and cook until softened. Next, add the garlic and sun-dried tomatoes. Cook for another minute and then add the ketchup, basil, oregano and white wine. Let the mix simmer for a few minutes and then finally add the heavy cream and Parmesan cheese. Stir, taste and season with salt and pepper. Simmer for about another 10 minutes to let all the ingredients come together.
And there you have it, your very own sun-dried tomato cream sauce that goes very well with any kinds of pasta. I suggest adding pork sausage and spinach to the sauce and pasta. The sauce holds well in the refrigerator for about a week. So making a large batch of maybe a quart will enable you to use it for 2 -3 meals, which should make meal planning for the week much easier.
Belacan Pork Loin with Sambal Asparagus
As a follow on to my previous blog post of making sambal belacan, here are a couple of dishes that are easy to make and utilize the same ingredients. First, the belacan pork loin, a variation of the more common belacan chicken, a dish that I enjoyed throughout my childhood. All you need to do before cooking the pork loin is to marinade them in a mix of the following:2 teaspoons of belacan (toasted and grounded)
2 eggs
1 cup rice flour
1 teaspoon of ground black pepper
To replace rice flour, regular all-purpose flour can be utilized as well but the outer coating surrounding the pork would not be as light and fluffy. Also, no salt is needed as the belacan is pretty salty to begin with. Add the above ingredients in a mixing bowl and thoroughly mix with a whisk. Cut the pork loin (1-1.5 lbs) into slices of 1/2-inch thickness and let them marinade for no less than an hour. The marination process allows the flavor to penetrate the pork and infuse itself into the meat naturally.
Now let's set the pork aside and prepare the asparagus. Here's what you will need:
1 lb. asparagus spears (with the ends removed and cut into 2-inch segments)
Quarter of an onion (julienned)
2 cloves garlic
3 -4 oz. dried shrimp (hydrated and rough chopped)
1 tablespoon sambal belacan
Get a wok working by heating up 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil. Start off by sweating the onions together with the dried shrimp. Next, add the garlic and cook for another minute. Add the segmented asparagus together with the sambal belacan and throughly mix and cook until the asparagus is tender. By now, you'll notice a strong and spicy aroma coming from inside the wok.
Now let's get back to the pork that has been marinating. Get a small pot of oil heating, with enough oil to fill up to at least a couple of inches of the pot. When the temperature of the oil comes up to 400F, you can start deep-frying the pork slices. With the thin pork slices, it shouldn't take too long to cook. When the pork turns golden brown, it is ready. Remove from the oil and let it sit on paper towels to drain the excess oil.
These two dishes are perfect when enjoyed with just plain white rice. As with any Malaysian meal, it will definitely not be complete without a side of sambal belacan as a spicy condiment!
Bon Appรฉtit!
Shut My Mouth
Hm, I might just stick to making these review posts every Friday. Brings some regularity to the blog, but then it's possible I see far too many films for one post a week to cover. The reason I've taken so long to get to this post is that I'm going up in the world, somewhat, having written for Den of Geek and I've made a titamaboob of myself on BBC Five Live, more of which later. Back where I belong, I've got reviews of Shutter Island and I Love You Phillip Morris for your enjoyment.
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Shutter Island is based on a bestselling novel, and brings Martin Scorsese back to a genre territory he hasn't roamed since his 1991 remake of Cape Fear. Since then, he's eschewed Robert deNiro as an acting "muse" and instead adopted Leonardo DiCaprio. In 1954, Teddy Daniels, played by DiCaprio, is a federal marshal dispatched to the remote mental institution of the title in order to investigate an inmate's disappearance. Mysteries build on top of mysteries as Daniels battles his own personal trauma and the unorthodox regime of Cawley and Naehring, the head doctors at the facility, to discover where the missing patient has gone. What's the law of 4? Who is 67? And most importantly at all, what is real and what is a pretence?
To offer a little context, this film's release was delayed from October last year, knocking it out of contention for the Oscars and prompting speculation about tensions between Scorsese and the studio. I don't believe that for a minute, because Scorsese is one of the best in the business and this is another masterpiece. Regardless of any changes made in the last five months, I'm really saddened that this film wasn't released early enough to have a shot with the Academy, because with genre fare getting rare recognition this year, the time was just right for a prestige horror film like Shutter Island to garner awards. This is creepy, tense and dreadful- as in full of dread- from start to finish. The second half in particular is a master-class in horror, ramping up the scares to a maximum as Daniels is thrust into a darkened Civil War fort with the most dangerous inmates on the island.
More than that, there's a terrific balancing act at work between horror and mystery. DiCaprio is rather marvellous at the forefront, but only when the film is finished will you fully appreciate how important it was for Mark Ruffalo, (SIR!) Ben Kingsley, Max von Sydow, Emily Mortimer and John Carroll Lynch put in the fantastic turn that they do while backgrounded by Daniels' investigation. Elsewhere, Elias Koteas and Jackie Earle Haley each give brief but electrifying and potentially film-stealing performances as two of the more deranged patients. The film's also got a knot of Nazi-phobia at its heart, which informs the most profound horror in Shutter Island- in the post-World War II setting, the Holocaust serves to remind humanity of its worst excesses. It's not a theme that has never been explored before, but the motif of Dachau is indicative of what humans are capable of doing to one another, and plays very well in the environment of the film. And here the traumatised figures it left behind find that violence has very real consequences and implications, a theme that comes to a crux in a scene where the facility's warden chastises God for loving violence so much.
There are only two real problems with Shutter Island. One- the score, assembled from a number of classical composers' works, is intrusive and jarring, and it belies the real value of the otherwise very impressive work. And two- the momentum is snatched away soon after the main twist in the tale, as everyone simply stops to explain all that has happened despite how the twist itself has been telegraphed from near the very beginning of the film. But for the most part, this is just an excellent horror film from a master craftsman of cinema. Evoking Hitchcock all the way in his adaptation, Scorsese pits an erstwhile but unhinged DiCaprio against the Machiavellian workings of Kingsley, the latter giving his best performance in a long while. Scorsese clearly appreciates that horror grounded in reality is all the more scary than supernatural horror, making for an excellently constructed horror drama. Breathtakingly brilliant.
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A story that's unhinged in a different way is the darkly hilarious I Love You Phillip Morris, which opens on a title card assuring the audience that "this really happened, it really did." It tells the apparently true story of Steven Russell, a Texan deputy cop who ups and leaves his wife and daughter behind to indulge his latent homosexuality after a near-death experience. Swiftly discovering that "being gay is really expensive" and becoming a conman in order to pay the bills, he's on a course for prison, where he meets the naive and sweet Phillip Morris. The pair fall in love, but find that Steven's compulsive criminal activities are keeping them apart as they flit in and out of prison over a number of years.
It's a Jim Carrey film, so it can go either way with in the lead role, but happily he's very good in this, pitching Steven with impeccable comic timing and occasionally allows him to be quite intense too. It's surprisingly understated, but he still manages to outshine everyone else in the cast. Ewan McGregor has finally stopped messing about with George Lucas and Dan Brown, and goes into Big Fish-mode in a role that's on the right track to jump-starting his career, and Leslie Mann is needy and memorable in her brief role, but it's definitely Carrey's film. And he carries it off well, not going too over-the-top, too po-faced or too caricatured. Indeed, the joke is never really at the expense of the gay-ness, except in one quite contrived sight gag involving Steven escaping prison disguised in a leopard-print mesh vest and red hotpants.
And what else would you expect from the writers of Bad Santa? Like that film, I Love You Phillip Morris mixes slapstick and the darkest brand of humour very well, making a highly irreverent and well-written comedy drama. Hell, it sort of counts as a romcom, so everyone go and see this at the weekend instead of The Bounty Hunter! Ewan McGregor makes a far better romantic lead than Jennifer Aniston anyway. It boasts what could be a career-best performance from Carrey- Eternal Sunshine and The Truman Show aside- and it's wickedly funny. A plot twist towards the end has to be seen to be believed, and it's an audacious film that's really worth the price of admission, whatever you may think of the tentative approach of marketing to the lowest-common denominator with the trailers.
Is any of this what I said when I foolishly volunteered a phone-in review to Kermode and Mayo's Film Reviews earlier this afternoon? Nope, because with a minute's notice before I went on air, I was more than a little flustered, and I enacted a poor impression of Steven, backed by a fleeting chorus of seagulls. Think of how I described my encounter with David Morrissey from a few weeks ago, then thrust it into the ears of a million BBC Five Live listeners. If you want to know the likely reason that I don't do video or podcast reviews, listen here for the next week, from around 56 minutes in. A video of my greatest wittertainment blunders (yes, more than one) may be forthcoming.
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If you've seen Shutter Island or I Love You Phillip Morris, why not share your views on the films and/or on my reviews (even the rubbish one) in the comments below. The weekend holds viewings of Green Zone and Old Dogs, and I might even go and endure The Bounty Hunter. Anything Gerard Butler found "laugh-out-loud" can't be all bad, right? Right?!
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don'twatchanythingIwouldn'twatch (CAW CAW)
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Shutter Island is based on a bestselling novel, and brings Martin Scorsese back to a genre territory he hasn't roamed since his 1991 remake of Cape Fear. Since then, he's eschewed Robert deNiro as an acting "muse" and instead adopted Leonardo DiCaprio. In 1954, Teddy Daniels, played by DiCaprio, is a federal marshal dispatched to the remote mental institution of the title in order to investigate an inmate's disappearance. Mysteries build on top of mysteries as Daniels battles his own personal trauma and the unorthodox regime of Cawley and Naehring, the head doctors at the facility, to discover where the missing patient has gone. What's the law of 4? Who is 67? And most importantly at all, what is real and what is a pretence?To offer a little context, this film's release was delayed from October last year, knocking it out of contention for the Oscars and prompting speculation about tensions between Scorsese and the studio. I don't believe that for a minute, because Scorsese is one of the best in the business and this is another masterpiece. Regardless of any changes made in the last five months, I'm really saddened that this film wasn't released early enough to have a shot with the Academy, because with genre fare getting rare recognition this year, the time was just right for a prestige horror film like Shutter Island to garner awards. This is creepy, tense and dreadful- as in full of dread- from start to finish. The second half in particular is a master-class in horror, ramping up the scares to a maximum as Daniels is thrust into a darkened Civil War fort with the most dangerous inmates on the island.
More than that, there's a terrific balancing act at work between horror and mystery. DiCaprio is rather marvellous at the forefront, but only when the film is finished will you fully appreciate how important it was for Mark Ruffalo, (SIR!) Ben Kingsley, Max von Sydow, Emily Mortimer and John Carroll Lynch put in the fantastic turn that they do while backgrounded by Daniels' investigation. Elsewhere, Elias Koteas and Jackie Earle Haley each give brief but electrifying and potentially film-stealing performances as two of the more deranged patients. The film's also got a knot of Nazi-phobia at its heart, which informs the most profound horror in Shutter Island- in the post-World War II setting, the Holocaust serves to remind humanity of its worst excesses. It's not a theme that has never been explored before, but the motif of Dachau is indicative of what humans are capable of doing to one another, and plays very well in the environment of the film. And here the traumatised figures it left behind find that violence has very real consequences and implications, a theme that comes to a crux in a scene where the facility's warden chastises God for loving violence so much.There are only two real problems with Shutter Island. One- the score, assembled from a number of classical composers' works, is intrusive and jarring, and it belies the real value of the otherwise very impressive work. And two- the momentum is snatched away soon after the main twist in the tale, as everyone simply stops to explain all that has happened despite how the twist itself has been telegraphed from near the very beginning of the film. But for the most part, this is just an excellent horror film from a master craftsman of cinema. Evoking Hitchcock all the way in his adaptation, Scorsese pits an erstwhile but unhinged DiCaprio against the Machiavellian workings of Kingsley, the latter giving his best performance in a long while. Scorsese clearly appreciates that horror grounded in reality is all the more scary than supernatural horror, making for an excellently constructed horror drama. Breathtakingly brilliant.
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A story that's unhinged in a different way is the darkly hilarious I Love You Phillip Morris, which opens on a title card assuring the audience that "this really happened, it really did." It tells the apparently true story of Steven Russell, a Texan deputy cop who ups and leaves his wife and daughter behind to indulge his latent homosexuality after a near-death experience. Swiftly discovering that "being gay is really expensive" and becoming a conman in order to pay the bills, he's on a course for prison, where he meets the naive and sweet Phillip Morris. The pair fall in love, but find that Steven's compulsive criminal activities are keeping them apart as they flit in and out of prison over a number of years.It's a Jim Carrey film, so it can go either way with in the lead role, but happily he's very good in this, pitching Steven with impeccable comic timing and occasionally allows him to be quite intense too. It's surprisingly understated, but he still manages to outshine everyone else in the cast. Ewan McGregor has finally stopped messing about with George Lucas and Dan Brown, and goes into Big Fish-mode in a role that's on the right track to jump-starting his career, and Leslie Mann is needy and memorable in her brief role, but it's definitely Carrey's film. And he carries it off well, not going too over-the-top, too po-faced or too caricatured. Indeed, the joke is never really at the expense of the gay-ness, except in one quite contrived sight gag involving Steven escaping prison disguised in a leopard-print mesh vest and red hotpants.
And what else would you expect from the writers of Bad Santa? Like that film, I Love You Phillip Morris mixes slapstick and the darkest brand of humour very well, making a highly irreverent and well-written comedy drama. Hell, it sort of counts as a romcom, so everyone go and see this at the weekend instead of The Bounty Hunter! Ewan McGregor makes a far better romantic lead than Jennifer Aniston anyway. It boasts what could be a career-best performance from Carrey- Eternal Sunshine and The Truman Show aside- and it's wickedly funny. A plot twist towards the end has to be seen to be believed, and it's an audacious film that's really worth the price of admission, whatever you may think of the tentative approach of marketing to the lowest-common denominator with the trailers.Is any of this what I said when I foolishly volunteered a phone-in review to Kermode and Mayo's Film Reviews earlier this afternoon? Nope, because with a minute's notice before I went on air, I was more than a little flustered, and I enacted a poor impression of Steven, backed by a fleeting chorus of seagulls. Think of how I described my encounter with David Morrissey from a few weeks ago, then thrust it into the ears of a million BBC Five Live listeners. If you want to know the likely reason that I don't do video or podcast reviews, listen here for the next week, from around 56 minutes in. A video of my greatest wittertainment blunders (yes, more than one) may be forthcoming.
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If you've seen Shutter Island or I Love You Phillip Morris, why not share your views on the films and/or on my reviews (even the rubbish one) in the comments below. The weekend holds viewings of Green Zone and Old Dogs, and I might even go and endure The Bounty Hunter. Anything Gerard Butler found "laugh-out-loud" can't be all bad, right? Right?!
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don'twatchanythingIwouldn'twatch (CAW CAW)
Sambal Belacan (Malaysian condiment with a nasty kick!)
Very popular in the South-East Asian countries of Malaysia, Indonesia and Singapore, sambal is a chili-based sauce that is most often used as a spicy condiment that goes with just about anything and everything served in those countries. What started out as an ubiquitous sauce used mainly in traditional Malay dishes, sambal has inevitably found its way into the cuisines of Malaysia's multi-cultural society. For instance, one's morning can begin with a kick start when sambal ikan bilis (crispy fried anchovies cooked with sambal) is served as an essential accompaniment to nasi lemak, a rich coconut milk and screwpine leaf-scented rice breakfast dish. It is also a must-have condiment when eating the hearty Indian-Muslim specialty of nasi kandar, a rice-based dish served with your choice of as much as 20 or more different types of curries and kormas. Not to be left out, the Chinese community in Malaysia has also embraced the spicy sambal as an essential sauce that goes with most anything, be it fried noodles or rice or even in soup-base dishes. Even the very traditional Hainanese Chicken Rice dish (hailing from Hainan province in China) is served with its own version of sambal, one that comes with the inclusion of minced ginger and garlic.Now that we know what sambal is, what about belacan? Well, it is certainly not for someone with a weak stomach or nose. Like the infamous durian, the thorny fruit whose smell has often been described as resembling a dirty toilet or wet socks, belacan has its own unique pungent aroma. Made from sun-dried ground shrimp, it is left to ferment for days before it is sold in the shape of brown rectangular blocks. To Western noses, belacan can be pretty unappetizing but when combined with sambal, it creates a new dimension of smell and flavor. The smokiness and decidedly strong aroma provides a nice counterpoint to the spiciness of the sambal, unapologetically showcasing what South-East Asian cuisine is all about: strong flavors with just a little uneasy pungency. Belacan is quite a rare item here in the U.S. and can only be found in certain Asian specialty stores. It can be quite hard to procure unless you have the right connections!
Growing up in Malaysia, no meal is complete without sambal belacan. It is easy to make and can last up to a week in the refrigerator. Here is what you need:
2 oz block of belacan
8 red jalapeรฑos (deseeded)
3 - 4 Thai bird chilis (deseeded)
3 tablespoons of fresh squeezed lime juice
1 teaspoon of sugar
Salt to taste
First, the belacan needs to be toasted. Be careful to turn on your stove's hood ventilator because the pungent smell will permeate just about everywhere (just ask my kids as they head out the door to escape!). When softened, you can either use a mortar and pestle to ground it up or just cut it into smaller cubes to get it ready for the food processor. Traditionally, sambal belacan is prepared exclusively on a mortar and pestle but less than a minute in a modern food processor should provide the same result as well. Some people like their sambal belacan a little on the chunky side where you can still make out tiny pieces of the various chilis. And this is achievable only on a mortar and pestle. When using a food processor, pretty much everything is shredded fine (just like what you see in the picture above). So, just add all the ingredient above into the food processor and voila! sambal belacan.
Mad Prophet, Hero of Sweden
Apparently I'm huge over there.
Um... some proper reviews coming shortly, I promise. To wit, Shutter Island and I Love You Phillip Morris. In the meantime you can check out some older reviews using the snazzy new Index page, or look at some of my other writings about cinema over at Den of Geek.
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, ser inte nรฅgot jag skulle inte titta.
The Cove and the Rising Mercury
At the recently concluded 2010 Academy Awards, The Cove won the Oscar for Best Documentary and at the same time, struck a glancing blow to the Japanese whaling industry and the despicable and heinous practice of culling dolphins for food in the deceptively tranquil Japanese coastal city of Taiji. A few weeks before the awards show aired, NPR (National Public Radio) ran an interesting interview piece with the director of The Cove, Louie Psihoyos. The interview piqued my interest not just for the intrigue of the documentary's main subject matter but most importantly, its clear message for ocean and cetacean preservation and also the imminent dangers of a poisonous element called mercury that has inevitably found its way into our food system. It has opened my eyes to the dangers of mercury in our seafood and also quite frankly, changed my perception of eating delicacies like tuna sashimi. For a chef, this is like a giant blow to the head since I now can't and won't prepare, cook or serve one of my favorite foods. The Cove is certainly a must-see documentary for just about everybody, not just environmentalists or animal lovers but also for people in the food industry, especially environmentally- and socially-conscious chefs.In this post, I would like to talk about the clear and present dangers of mercury levels found in many fish that has found its way onto our dining tables. As all of you may know, mercury is a toxic heavy metal that at high levels, will cause a debilitating disease known as mercury poisoning that can cause horrific damage to the brain, kidney and lungs. It is especially dangerous to pregnant women and young children. The main source of mercury ingestion is unfortunately through the seafood that we consume everyday, especially the larger and long-lived predator fish like tuna, shark, swordfish, marlin and bass. Through a process known as biomagnification, these predator fish slowly accumulates the amount of mercury in its system over a long period of time as it preys on other smaller fish, which ingest the mercury found in our polluted seas and lakes. And since mercury is non-soluble and does not degrade over time, the mercury in these predator fish will reach alarming levels the longer it lives and eats.
There is a "Special Features" segment on the DVD of The Cove
that tells the story of a group of Japanese scientists who experimented with just eating tuna for a whole month, kind of like what filmmaker Morgan Spurlock did in his documentary Super Size Me
when he ate nothing but food from McDonald's for a whole month and demonstrated the ill-effects of it. As you may have guessed, the levels of mercury found in these scientists was nothing short of alarming. And the worse part is, their mercury levels shot up even more when they consumed the expensive sashimi-grade blue-fin tuna when compared to the cheaper tuna meat. This revelation made me heave a sigh of relief because I've not had tuna in months since it was way too expensive to purchase. I guess I should thank the crappy economy for my good fortune!
that tells the story of a group of Japanese scientists who experimented with just eating tuna for a whole month, kind of like what filmmaker Morgan Spurlock did in his documentary Super Size Me when he ate nothing but food from McDonald's for a whole month and demonstrated the ill-effects of it. As you may have guessed, the levels of mercury found in these scientists was nothing short of alarming. And the worse part is, their mercury levels shot up even more when they consumed the expensive sashimi-grade blue-fin tuna when compared to the cheaper tuna meat. This revelation made me heave a sigh of relief because I've not had tuna in months since it was way too expensive to purchase. I guess I should thank the crappy economy for my good fortune!So pass the message along and stop or reduce your consumption of these predator fish. It is only through the mass conscious efforts of consumers, chefs and other people in the food industry that can inevitably change the way business is run. Let's do our parts and save the environment for our children and their children and at the same time, save ourselves.
The Colin Song
The tenuous link between two of this week's releases-Oscar-winning character piece Crazy Heart and Irish fantasy-drama Ondine- is that they both prominently feature singing and Colin Farrell. The Irish actor is something of a paradox in that his heyday was in 2003, and yet the films he's made since have arguably been better. Except for Alexander, which would be unforgivable if it weren't for his career-best performance in In Bruges. So while I'm hardly a fan, I had to give these two films a go.
As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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In the week following Jeff Bridges' long-awaited Oscar win for Best Actor, Crazy Heart has made it into UK cinemas. Bridges plays Bad Blake, a country-western crooner who's past his best and finds himself with prolific health problems, related to his copious drinking and smoking. He traipses from gig to gig, making a living and trying to recall the glory days. Continually outshone by the more manufactured strains of his protรฉgรฉ, Tommy Sweet (Farrell), Bad considers writing some new songs instead of relying on his popular back-catalogue. He's further inspired by a journalist and her young daughter, who allow him into their lives and give him a chance to reconnect with people.
Outright, I'm going to reiterate what I've been saying since Sunday- Jeff Bridges' win is well-deserved. Not only for his long career, which I suspect factored into the Academy's decision in this particular year, but for the marvellous performance he gives here as Bad Blake. For an actor who's most distinctive to me and many others as the Dude in The Big Lebowski, this is an entirely tangible and relatable character. Bridges embodies Bad from the moment he hops out of his car after a long journey and pours a milk carton full of piss on the tarmac. Similarly, Maggie Gyllenhaal is excellent here, and the romantic chemistry between the two is electric, despite the massive age gap between the two. She was up for Best Supporting Actress, but lost to Mo'Nique for Precious (unfairly, I dare say). It's also great to see Robert Duvall, who also produces the film, doing films like this instead of Four Christmases, having been the best part of most of Francis Ford Coppola's films back in the 1970s.
Some of Crazy Heart's critics have suggested it has a cosmetic similarity to The Wrestler, but with country music instead of heel-smacking, forehead-stapling sport. I'd disagree on that count, but would say that it's more similar to another Oscar favourite this year, Up in the Air. Like Clooney's Ryan Bingham in that film, Bad Blake is travelling so often that he can't really form or maintain relationships. But where Clooney slipped away to flirt with Vera Farmiga, Bridges contents himself by shagging groupies he meets at gigs, more advanced in years though they are. And those gigs come across well too- both Bridges, and latterly Colin Farrell, perform their own songs rather than lip-synching or using ADR, which is always good when actors play musicians. Unless, so I'm told, you're Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia.
Crazy Heart is engaging enough that you forget Bad Blake isn't a real person, which is more than I can say of most musical biopics, never mind other such character studies. It's bolstered tremendously by Jeff Bridges, whose tortured soul of a musician is still a million miles away from the slightly similar character played by Mickey Rourke a year or so ago. Bad is a magnetic character, and has a great dynamic with Gyllenhaal's Jean too. Country music isn't my thing, but the soundtrack is excellent too. And if the best sports films make you care even when you don't give a shit about the sport, then this is a musical drama par excellence.
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Colin Farrell takes a more central role in Ondine, where he plays Syracuse, a fisherman and recovering alcoholic who catches an unconscious woman in his trawler's nets just off the coast of his small Irish hometown. Unable to remember who she is and how she came to her current predicament, she adopts the name Ondine, meaning "she came from the water." When she reveals an unusual talent for singing fishes into Syracuse's nets, she enchants his disabled young daughter, Annie. Annie is convinced that Ondine is a selkie- a mythical creature who can live on the land for several years at a time, unless her subterranean spouse claims her back. Selkie or not, someone is coming for Ondine.
Sound familiar? Wondering if I've reviewed this already? Yes, it's Ponyo for grown-ups! But it does manage to be a superior film too, at the very least because it's not nearly as shrill as the dubbed version of Miyazaki's film. It's a well crafted and gorgeously shot folk-tale of a film, that straddles fantasy and drama with only slight unease. With a 12A certificate, it's occasionally shooting for the younger audience, but it also allows for copious swimming scenes with ingรฉnue Alicja Bachleda stripping to her pants, which director Neil Jordan brings forward with gusto. The more rational of the two proffered explanations for Ondine's origins is also on the more adult side of things. To that end, a stock Romanian baddy comes stalking around the small town, slightly reminiscently of Christopher Fulford in Danny Boyle's Millions, another film which married a fledgling crime thriller storyline with a child's perspective on matters.
There's certainly nothing so remarkable as In Bruges from Farrell here, but then it doesn't have to be the best thing he's ever done, and fair play to him for the presumable influence of his star power in getting this film to the screen. Bachleda is appropriately dainty as the title character, although perhaps the tone might have came off better if she weren't so sexualised by Jordan's lens. Elsewhere, Stephen Rea, Dervla Kirwan and Tony Curran all make fleeting appearances as the townspeople with the appropriate level of befuddlement that Ponyo was missing. But the most charming performance on show is by young Alison Barry as Annie, who more or less clarifies Bachleda's airy ambiguity and keeps the central enigma engaging to the audience.
Clinging like a barnacle to a typical three-act structure, Ondine is still a very likable and enchanting film from a country that rarely seems to make a big noise in the cinema unless they're offended by Leap Year. Like its central character, it's alluring irrespective of its origin, and my big failing here is that I saw it so late in the week it was screening in cinemas. In the shadow of the following week's releases from directors like Paul Greengrass and Martin Scorcese, it seems like this is destined to be a one-week engagement for most cinemas. In the hope that it's more broadly seen later on DVD, I can heartily recommend this feast of charm and whimsy, even if it's a bit difficult to discern its target audience.
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Still to come, probably over the course of this weekend, are Green Zone and Shutter Island, both of which seem a little more intense than either of these films. But if you've seen Crazy Heart or Ondine, why not share your comments on the films and/or the reviews below?
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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In the week following Jeff Bridges' long-awaited Oscar win for Best Actor, Crazy Heart has made it into UK cinemas. Bridges plays Bad Blake, a country-western crooner who's past his best and finds himself with prolific health problems, related to his copious drinking and smoking. He traipses from gig to gig, making a living and trying to recall the glory days. Continually outshone by the more manufactured strains of his protรฉgรฉ, Tommy Sweet (Farrell), Bad considers writing some new songs instead of relying on his popular back-catalogue. He's further inspired by a journalist and her young daughter, who allow him into their lives and give him a chance to reconnect with people.Outright, I'm going to reiterate what I've been saying since Sunday- Jeff Bridges' win is well-deserved. Not only for his long career, which I suspect factored into the Academy's decision in this particular year, but for the marvellous performance he gives here as Bad Blake. For an actor who's most distinctive to me and many others as the Dude in The Big Lebowski, this is an entirely tangible and relatable character. Bridges embodies Bad from the moment he hops out of his car after a long journey and pours a milk carton full of piss on the tarmac. Similarly, Maggie Gyllenhaal is excellent here, and the romantic chemistry between the two is electric, despite the massive age gap between the two. She was up for Best Supporting Actress, but lost to Mo'Nique for Precious (unfairly, I dare say). It's also great to see Robert Duvall, who also produces the film, doing films like this instead of Four Christmases, having been the best part of most of Francis Ford Coppola's films back in the 1970s.
Some of Crazy Heart's critics have suggested it has a cosmetic similarity to The Wrestler, but with country music instead of heel-smacking, forehead-stapling sport. I'd disagree on that count, but would say that it's more similar to another Oscar favourite this year, Up in the Air. Like Clooney's Ryan Bingham in that film, Bad Blake is travelling so often that he can't really form or maintain relationships. But where Clooney slipped away to flirt with Vera Farmiga, Bridges contents himself by shagging groupies he meets at gigs, more advanced in years though they are. And those gigs come across well too- both Bridges, and latterly Colin Farrell, perform their own songs rather than lip-synching or using ADR, which is always good when actors play musicians. Unless, so I'm told, you're Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia.Crazy Heart is engaging enough that you forget Bad Blake isn't a real person, which is more than I can say of most musical biopics, never mind other such character studies. It's bolstered tremendously by Jeff Bridges, whose tortured soul of a musician is still a million miles away from the slightly similar character played by Mickey Rourke a year or so ago. Bad is a magnetic character, and has a great dynamic with Gyllenhaal's Jean too. Country music isn't my thing, but the soundtrack is excellent too. And if the best sports films make you care even when you don't give a shit about the sport, then this is a musical drama par excellence.
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Colin Farrell takes a more central role in Ondine, where he plays Syracuse, a fisherman and recovering alcoholic who catches an unconscious woman in his trawler's nets just off the coast of his small Irish hometown. Unable to remember who she is and how she came to her current predicament, she adopts the name Ondine, meaning "she came from the water." When she reveals an unusual talent for singing fishes into Syracuse's nets, she enchants his disabled young daughter, Annie. Annie is convinced that Ondine is a selkie- a mythical creature who can live on the land for several years at a time, unless her subterranean spouse claims her back. Selkie or not, someone is coming for Ondine.Sound familiar? Wondering if I've reviewed this already? Yes, it's Ponyo for grown-ups! But it does manage to be a superior film too, at the very least because it's not nearly as shrill as the dubbed version of Miyazaki's film. It's a well crafted and gorgeously shot folk-tale of a film, that straddles fantasy and drama with only slight unease. With a 12A certificate, it's occasionally shooting for the younger audience, but it also allows for copious swimming scenes with ingรฉnue Alicja Bachleda stripping to her pants, which director Neil Jordan brings forward with gusto. The more rational of the two proffered explanations for Ondine's origins is also on the more adult side of things. To that end, a stock Romanian baddy comes stalking around the small town, slightly reminiscently of Christopher Fulford in Danny Boyle's Millions, another film which married a fledgling crime thriller storyline with a child's perspective on matters.
There's certainly nothing so remarkable as In Bruges from Farrell here, but then it doesn't have to be the best thing he's ever done, and fair play to him for the presumable influence of his star power in getting this film to the screen. Bachleda is appropriately dainty as the title character, although perhaps the tone might have came off better if she weren't so sexualised by Jordan's lens. Elsewhere, Stephen Rea, Dervla Kirwan and Tony Curran all make fleeting appearances as the townspeople with the appropriate level of befuddlement that Ponyo was missing. But the most charming performance on show is by young Alison Barry as Annie, who more or less clarifies Bachleda's airy ambiguity and keeps the central enigma engaging to the audience.Clinging like a barnacle to a typical three-act structure, Ondine is still a very likable and enchanting film from a country that rarely seems to make a big noise in the cinema unless they're offended by Leap Year. Like its central character, it's alluring irrespective of its origin, and my big failing here is that I saw it so late in the week it was screening in cinemas. In the shadow of the following week's releases from directors like Paul Greengrass and Martin Scorcese, it seems like this is destined to be a one-week engagement for most cinemas. In the hope that it's more broadly seen later on DVD, I can heartily recommend this feast of charm and whimsy, even if it's a bit difficult to discern its target audience.
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Still to come, probably over the course of this weekend, are Green Zone and Shutter Island, both of which seem a little more intense than either of these films. But if you've seen Crazy Heart or Ondine, why not share your comments on the films and/or the reviews below?
I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.
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