The Mad Prophet #100 (Kind Of)

This is as close to celebratory as I get.

I've been keeping count even after I axed the numbering in the titles, and by my reckoning, this is the 100th post since I stole adopted Howard Beale's moniker back in August last year. Some of you may not have been reading that long, but some may have been around since the very first post at this blog, my review of The Dark Knight over two years ago now... what do you want, a cookie?

Things have changed- I've found a rhythm and settled into it, kind of. Posting remains sporadic, opinions remain ranty and "Mark Kermode" is still the reason most of you found this site, according to my search stats. In the shadow of his flappy hands, I still stand, and so it's difficult to know how to commemorate 100 Mad Prophet posts. And then I realised a list would probably do it.

In 100 posts as the Mad Prophet, I've never actually told you what my favourite films of all time are. I've mentioned one or two here and there, but having not seen every single film ever made, I've been reluctant to share my own worthless ramblings about my personal favourites. But hey, you're here for the ramblings, so here are my top ten favourite films ever.

10. THE BIG LEBOWSKI (Coen, 1998)

 
Um, what? Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski loses a good rug when mistaken for his millionaire namesake, and as he and his bowling team try to get compensation, they become embroiled in a bizarre conspiracy involving Mrs. Lebowski.

Why for? Star Jeff Bridges recently compared this film to The Godfather, and although I like this more, the comparison with that film's reputation stands up. Making a modest showing on its original release, it's now the cult classic equivalent of Francis Ford Coppola's epic. Always funny, always quotable, and frankly, I've always thought this was the Coens' best work, rather than Fargo. Gee, this turned into Mark's Unpopular Opinions quite quickly. 

9. CINEMA PARADISO (Tornatore, 1988)

 
Um, what? A filmmaker reminisces upon his childhood in his local church, which doubles for the cinema in his small town, when he receives word that the venerable projectionist has passed away.

Why for? To me, it's the quintessential film for film lovers. Some may be alienated by the sentimentality towards celluloid pleasures, but then these people are soulless. So if you're not a zombie, Tornatore's ode to a bygone age of cinema is as heartwarming as they come, and dammit, I weep every single time I watch it. Ennio Morricone's excellent score and the nigh-on perfect ending see to that. The clip is the former rather than the latter because I don't want to spoil it- go watch the film. 

8. A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH (Powell and Pressburger, 1946)

 
Um, what? Aviator Peter Carter dies in action during the Second World War, but due to bad weather conditions, he isn't taken into the afterlife right away. In the 20 hours it takes for heaven's administrators to catch up with him, he falls in love, and must make the case that he died too soon if he is to be with her.

Why for? In January, I argued that The Lovely Bones was one of the better films of the year, even though I sort of agreed that Peter Jackson's vision of the afterlife was a little too psychedelic, and overwhelmed by CG. Here's a film that circumvented that by putting the hereafter in black and white to contrast with the technicolour mortal realm. And a high concept makes for the greatest romance of all time, in my humble opinion. Simply enough, they don't make them like this no more...

7. PAN'S LABYRINTH (Del Toro, 2006)


Um, what? In 1944, an oppressed young girl escapes the reality of her brutal stepfather and fascist Spain by entering a dark fantasy world, in which she must pass three gruesome tests in order to prove her royal lineage and reunite with her real father.

Why for? By turns, it's brutal and fantastical- a grown-up genre savvy answer to Alice in Wonderland. Memorable characters and a great script are married perfectly with the splendid visuals. It also boasts The Scariest Movie Monster Ever, as endorsed by your Mad Prophet- see the video above. Del Toro's demented masterpiece.

6. BACK TO THE FUTURE (Zemeckis, 1985)


Um, what? Dr. Emmett Brown invents a time machine, and high school student Marty McFly accidentally drives it back to 1955, meeting his parents when they were his age and jeopardising his own existence in the process.

Why for? If you don't know, get to your local cinema- they're still showing the film's 25th anniversary remastering. For those still with us, films like this are just magical. It's got plotholes you could drive the DeLorean through, but its enduring appeal is down to the fact that it's a sci-fi film about people and romance rather than technobabble and causality, like the kinda inferior Part II. Make like a tree and go watch it.

5. THE DARK KNIGHT (Nolan, 2008)


Um, what? Batman has organised crime on the run in Gotham City until the arrival of the anarchistic Joker. A trifecta is formed between the caped crusader, Commissioner Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, but all three are tested to their limit by the Joker's campaign of chaos.

Why for? We're two years down the line now, so we've weathered the backlash against this film, and even the insane "making us look bad" machinations of the nutty Nolan fanboys over on the IMDB, so we know by now that this film still has flaws. But you know what? It still doesn't feel like it once you're watching. No comic book movie is this engrossing- it's not what you'd want from a Superman or Spider-Man film, but it's the perfect Batman film, with an unforgettable cast and an aesthetic that still dazzles if you've seen it twice or twenty times.

4. SHAUN OF THE DEAD (Wright, 2004)

 
Um, what? Shaun drives his girlfriend Liz to breaking point with his persistent inertia, and it feels like the world is ending when she dumps him. Then the zombie apocalypse happens, and with the world really ending, he rallies a ramshackle group of survivors to go to the local pub.

Why for? Edgar Wright is one of my favourite directors, but for me, neither of his other films quite match the sheer brilliance of Shaun. Like The Big Lebowski, it's a comedy that is always funny, and one which always has new surprises no matter how many times I see it. Odd then, that it's so difficult to find usable clips on YouTube. Then again, the Don't Stop Me Now dance number/fight scene should be seen in context to be believed.

3. THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE (Sargent, 1974)


Um, what? A New York subway train is hijacked by four men, who demand the Mayor pay a million dollar ransom for the passengers. A battle of wills ensues between the hijackers' leader and a transit police lieutenant, as it seems impossible that the robbers could ever escape...

Why for? Unlike Tony Scott's brainless remake, this is an action film with real class. It deploys great actors to perform an excellent script, and for posterity, it shows an immutable New York spirit. While the remake was obviously tinged with post-9/11 context, the passengers are considerably more ballsy in the superior original. Darkly humorous and gripping by turns, it's another film with an unforgettable ending.

2. TOY STORY (Lasseter, 1995)


Um, what?  Hand-me-down cowboy doll Woody rules the roost amongst his fellow toys, a role which is usurped in the wake of their owner's birthday. His favourite gift is a brand-new spaceman action figure, Buzz Lightyear, who quickly becomes more popular than Woody.

Why for? Fun fact- more people find this blog by searching for Toy Story than any other term. That said, at least one of you sick puppies found me by looking for "baby spiters". But I've spoken of my love of the Toy Story trilogy even more than my distaste for Michael Bay, and there's a reason for that. It's a magnificent series, but the one that holds the spot in my top ten is the first one, for all the added nostalgia value it's gathered since my first viewing at the age of 6. Also, it's near enough perfect.

1. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (Spielberg, 1981)


Um, what? With the Nazis combing the desert in search of the dangerously powerful Ark of the Covenant, archaeologist Indiana Jones tries to beat them to it, picking up his old flame Marion Ravenwood along the way.

Why for? I feel I've covered this film considerably less, when you account for how it's my favourite film of all time, and all. It has something for everyone, including a career-defining turn by Harrison Ford, and Marion just being the stuff of life-long crushes (Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn't count). The recent announcement of Star Wars being redone in 3D filled me with dread for the day when Lucasfilm turns on its better franchise once again- if they ever tamper with this, I'm redoubling my efforts to leave the planet. What's to say, except that it's my idea of a perfect movie?
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If you're surprised by my top ten, or want to share your own all-time favourites, why not leave a comment? It's ironic that Network didn't make this list, really- the whole blog is built around that film. Although my list fluctuates, rest assured that it always makes the top twenty if not the top ten...

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until the 200th post, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

2009- The Mad Prophet's Top Ten Favourite Films

With the bad stuff out of the way, there's some time to recognise that last year really wasn't so bad. I've complained on numerous occasions that the summer of 2009 was pretty lousy on account of the writers' strike finally catching up with Hollywood. The only two standout films of the summer had actually been pushed back from their respective release dates at the end of 2008 by panicking accountants at the studios. Appreciably though, there were some real gems in 2009. Indeed, so many that I'm going to give honourable mention to numbers 11-20 below so you can see what happened to some of the glaring omissions from the top 10...

20. Frost/Nixon
19. Watchmen
18. Gran Torino
17. Inglourious Basterds
16. Drag Me To Hell
15. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
14. (500) Days of Summer
13. Star Trek
12. Me and Orson Welles
11. Let The Right One In

Moving onto numbers 10-1, I get to present the much-mooted special project in all its semi-botched glory. Below is a video compilation of my top 10 favourite films of 2009 for your perusal and enjoyment. As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion on here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.



Or... for those who want to forego the slight technical problems and missing narration of that video, I'll give you a breakdown of the list. Starting with number 10!

10. A Serious Man

As you might guess from the calibre of the films that made my top twenty, I had to give some thought to what would make it to number ten on my list. Many people will say that A Serious Man is a film that's too complex, too bleak or indeed, too Jewish for them. But the Coen Brothers elevate audience discomfort to a high art and just bombard any and all expectations. It made number ten purely because it stuck with me so long after watching, especially that alarming final shot of the film. It's a comedy that's remarkably close to tragedy, and you have to think about it a little bit- the trouble is that you won't be able to stop thinking about it.

9. District 9

Following the most lacklustre summer film schedule in recent memory, District 9 was a shining light. Adapted from director Neill Blomkamp's own short film Alive in Jo'burg, the film was made for a mere $30m, an amount that the likes of Michael Bay routinely fritters away on exploding tits or something. And yet despite the relatively small budget, the visuals are just as strong as the script. There's also a terrific breakthrough role by Sharlto Copley, shrieking every iteration of the word fuck that you can possibly imagine. This is what a summer blockbuster should be- it doesn't treat you like an idiot, but you don't have to think too hard about it either.

8. In The Loop

Every now and then a TV series will make the leap to the silver screen, usually with a feeble cry of “Let's set it in America!”, and it ends up being absolute rubbish. This is not just any TV series though, this is Armando Iannucci's big screen iteration of "The Thick of It", and it's absolutely hilarious. The plot may become a little inscrutable towards the end, but that's really obscured by the always marvellous Peter Capaldi as Malcolm Tucker, doing some real world-class swearing for Queen and country and trying to hold everything together through the political shitstorm his bosses have landed themselves in.

7. An Education

Carey Mulligan is quite rightly making waves as a result of her lead performance here as Jenny, in this truly remarkable coming-of-age story about a young woman who is seduced away from her studies by a charming playboy. It's always baffling to me that Twilight does such huge business when this is a much more subtle and competent portrayal of first love and its intensity than Stephanie Meyer could ever hope to create. Sadly this didn't play in even half the number of cinemas that New Moon did, and so you'll have to keep an eye out for it when it arrives on DVD in March. You won't forget it because it's sure to whip up a storm during awards season. A terrific ensemble and an engaging script together make An Education one of the best British films of the year.

6. Zombieland

Many zom-coms have followed Shaun of the Dead in the hopes of recreating its success and few have even come close. That Zombieland comes just a hair's breadth from matching the genius of Shaun is the highest compliment that I can afford it. Like Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright before him, director Ruben Fleischer has made a film about how people deal with the zombie apocalypse rather than about the zombies themselves, and the result is very original for a zombie film, as well as enjoyable and incredibly funny. There's plenty more to enjoy in Zombieland, so give it a look if you haven't already.

5. Moon

The bluster and spectacle of Avatar aside, the real comeback for science fiction this year was mustered between District 9 and Moon. Duncan Jones wrote and directed this loving throwback to 1970s sci-fi such as Silent Running and 2001, and it's a consummate piece of filmmaking that shows a lot of promise for Jones' future projects. It's essentially a two-hander between Sam Rockwell and a robot voiced by Kevin Spacey, but it's also one of those films where to explain the plot is to ruin it. You really have to see this for yourself, because Sam Rockwell is utterly spell-binding in it- Moon is an enjoyable nostalgia piece that still breaks new ground without bombarding its audience with CGI. It's about ideas, rather than spectacle, and revives the sci-fi genre in a big way.

4. Up

Join in if you know the words- Pixar can do no wrong. Having seen their latest effort no less than four times in cinemas (in 2D of course), I can vouch that Up stands up on repeat viewings as a terrific film for all the family. It's sad, funny, compelling and utterly brilliant. The characters are all perfectly drawn, and more than that, it has another in a long line of extremely creative plots from Pixar- an old man flies his house to South America and ends up picking up a boy scout and a talking dog before starting a feud with his childhood hero. I defy you to find me a more innovative premise this year than the one that Up has going for it. It's just an utterly delightful film, and at the same time, it's more mature than most so-called grown-up films.

3. The Hurt Locker

Entirely on the opposite end of the scale to Up, this is Kathryn Bigelow's arse-clenchingly tense character study of a bomb disposal expert in Iraq. This is the only film in which I can honestly say a windscreen-wiper made me jump out of my seat- it is an utterly exhausting film to watch because you're never allowed to sit back and relax in your seat unless you want to jump out of it a few minutes later. One of the great things about this is that Bigelow cast largely unknown actors- she clearly didn't want to have Shia LeBeouf play a soldier just so the film makes more money. Those actors that are recognisable are used sparingly, and the central performance by Jeremy Renner is just a tour-de-force. The Hurt Locker is by far the best film around about the current conflict in Iraq, and it's not really about the current conflict in Iraq. It's about the bomb disposal guys, and why they do what they do, and you'll struggle to find a more gripping action film than this.

2. Is Anybody There?

Based on director John Crowley's own childhood experiences, this is the story of a young boy who is obsessed with the hereafter as a result of living in an old folks' home. Michael Caine plays a retired magician who might hold some of the answers, and this film showcases some of his best acting ever. I'm a huge Michael Caine fan, measuring at about 6'5 last time I checked, so I don't say that lightly. More than that, he has a terrific dynamic with Bill Milner, who is hands down the best child actor working today. They have a great script to work with too, with dark comedy and a heart-wrenching conclusion. It's simply marvellous, and it's the biggest shame of the year that it was eclipsed by having simultaneously opened with both Wolverine and Hannah Montana, meaning that approximately no cinemas showed it. Is Anybody There? is doing the rounds on DVD, and it's down to you, the filmgoing public, to make sure this overlooked gem gets more recognition.

1. Slumdog Millionaire

This was one of the first films released in 2009, and it's also my favourite of the year- it just works on every level. I'm not entirely sure it's the feel-good film it's painted to be, what with the child slavery and general misery going on there, but Slumdog Millionaire is incredibly directed, acted and written. To even stage a film shoot in the hectic Mumbai area is amazing, but it's also a gripping romance and coming-of-age story at the same time. Danny Boyle holds the narrative at a moderate distance from melodrama or cheesiness, and the result is infinitely watchable. The only bad thing to come out of this film is that bloody Jai Ho remix, which has been assaulting me in the earholes all year now. Even that I can tolerate, because Slumdog Millionaire is truly an achievement in cinema, and for me, it sits at the apex of 2009 cinema.

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I hate to end on a bum note, but I have to report that I've seen St. Trinians 2, and a review will be up in the next few days. I went to see it under the same duress as I saw the first one and am beginning to feel like James Woods in "Family Guy". But for now, I hope you enjoyed the countdown, if not the video- there'll be a more well prepared version for the top 10 of 2010, I promise.

The future looks bright in any case, with Kick Ass, Iron Man 2 and Toy Story 3 amongst the films the cinema has to offer this year. But similarly, there's another Twilight film and a film from the writers of Made of Honour, this time set in Ireland. No rest for the wicked, eh.

Until the end of the year, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.