The Eager Have Landed- JACKBOOTS ON WHITEHALL Review

The latest development in my ongoing mission to finally see all the films I wanted to see at this year's Edinburgh Film Festival took me to a Nazi-occupied Britain, and Jackboots on Whitehall. It's been quite dangerously compared to Team America- World Police, an action movie parody with puppets that was so on the nose that Michael Bay's face has never looked the same since.

In an alternate history where the Dunkirk landings were a colossal failure, the German invasion of Britain is imminent, led by the not-yet-exploded Hindenburg. A plucky farm boy called Chris leads the charge from a small village in Kent to Downing Street, where he helps rescue a belligerent Winston Churchill from the invaders. He and his rag-tag resistance decamp to Scotland, to fight against Hitler in the final battle for England.

 

Jackboots on Whitehall's primary players are largely Action Man and Barbie style figurines, whizzing around in Airfix models and toy tanks, and animated to some degree with CGI. It pains me to say that a film with this much potential falls short of the mark, and that such an interesting premise turned out so ordinary. I would go so far as to say that the script as actualised plays out like a first draft, and one which never ever would have been produced in live action.

It's not that the astounding art direction and production design are gimmicks, but that Edmund and Rory McHenry needed to give the script another polish before they settled into their directors' seats to visualise it. The favourable comparisons to Team America don't work because although Trey Parker and Matt Stone obviously had fun with the strictures of puppetry and they made a good-looking film, they're also writers first and foremost. This one plays out like a first draft, because in a second draft, the McHenries would surely have added more jokes.

As an aspiring screenwriter myself, I would never presume or insinuate that the McHenries are lazy. This certainly isn't a lazy film, but it feels like it was out of the gate too quickly. Like even another month of script editing would have helped before they got the toys out. Instead, the film does very well at capturing the tone they're after, that of Sunday afternoon war films like The Eagle Has Landed and The Great Escape, by drawing on comedy stereotypes of nationality and a literacy in popular cinema that pulls in various visual and spoken references. But there's not a lot of substance to it, which is to say that it's not really that funny.

I'll tell you exactly the point where the script broke me, because every other review is mentioning it as well. Somewhere in the last fifteen minutes, the stereotypical lampoon of the Scots leads the dialogue to Braveheart jokes. And more than that, a Mel Gibson joke. Part of that Mel Gibson joke actually made me facepalm. I didn't even facepalm when I saw Takers. It's an easy pot-shot at an actor that isn't exactly current, and has no real place in a film set around World War II. To be blunt, it's like a joke from "2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie"- repent of your sins before my Vampires Suck review comes online next week...

The film has its moments, certainly. For instance, Richard E. Grant's voice acting as the ribald vicar is one of my favourite vocal performances in a while. None of the the cast are as present as Grant on-screen in their plastic counterparts, but none of it sounds phoned in. Timothy Spall does a decent Churchill impression, and Ewan McGregor always sounds earnest with his type of character, but I concede that he does a surprisingly good West Countries accent. But as I say, the obvious love that everyone involved had for the basic idea made it all the more depressing that the final result wasn't better.

The filmmakers' enthusiasm works both for and against Jackboots on Whitehall. It carries a torch for the cinematic pleasures of Michael Caine portraying a Nazi or Clint Eastwood raiding a German castle, and recreates that era rather nicely with some seriously impressive toy-based art direction. The ambition is there, it's just a shame that the laughs aren't. Once again, the script desperately needed work, in my opinion- it should be seated next to Blackadder, not precariously close to that red-headed stepchild of wartime satire, Churchill: The Hollywood Years. It looks and sounds great, but very sadly, it's a disappointment.

Jackboots on Whitehall is now playing in selected cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen Jackboots on Whitehall, why not share your comments below? I now need to catch up with that other toy movie, A Town Called Panic. I wasn't looking forward to that one as much, but hopefully a more pleasant surprise awaits.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Now You See Him... - THE ILLUSIONIST Review

Sylvain Chomet's latest animation, The Illusionist is all about a stage magician in the early 60s, whose act is being supplanted by rock stars in the hearts and minds of audiences. With no one interested as much, he decides to try and find employment in Scotland, heading for Edinburgh. Along the way he picks up a young girl who believes he really is a magician, granting him a new responsibility.

This one is the fulfilment of a long unproduced script by French writer and director Jacques Tati. It's believed Tati wrote the script with his estranged daughter in mind for the lead role, and his aspirations to reconcile set the tone for this one, in a way. The relationship between the illusionist and the girl is paramount to the film's central theme.

Because bigger than that, this is essentially a film about the end of innocence, and the death of illusion. It's wrapped up in charm and whimsy, but it's impossible to not feel the final emotional sucker punch. Watching it is like being enveloped in a warm hug for an hour, only to realise you've been stabbed in the heart by the hugger at some point or other.

The death of the music hall and old-timey entertainment is prominent, and more stirring than it really has any right to be- I'm only 20 years old, and have no nostalgia for that era because I wasn't alive. It's one of a number of ways Chomet appeals to younger audiences, also transcending the language barrier by keeping the dialogue to a minimum. The dynamics of the comedy are similar to Mr. Bean, or the first twenty minutes of WALL·E- there is inflection, but the storytelling is largely visual.

It all looks very nice. It's of the same unpolished and slightly scratchy aesthetic as that period where Disney animations looked like 101 Dalmatians or The Aristocats, but it's still very well drawn. More than I was at the time, I was saddened that I didn't get to see this at the Edinburgh Film Festival earlier in the year, because the way the city is realised in the film could only have been more atmospheric if I'd actually seen it there.

I was honestly surprised by how accessible The Illusionist is. Lots of families were in the screening I caught, and they all seemed to enjoy it immensely. Like the best animations, it has deeper connotations for the adult viewer but it's funny and whimsical enough that kids will adore it too.

The Illusionist is still playing in selected cinemas around the country, and will arrive on DVD in 2011.
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If you've seen The Illusionist, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? I'd have mentioned that this isn't to be confused with the Edward Norton film, but that film already isn't to be confused with The Prestige. It was fine, but both Nolan and Chomet are leagues beyond that film.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Funny Bones- SKELETONS Review

As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.
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You may currently be gesticulating at The Last Airbender and The Sorcerer's Apprentice, both of which begin screening in advance at cinemas nationwide today, with the urgency of a multiplex-lovin' chimp who happens to read this blog. But yesterday I got in a trip to the Tyneside Cinema, so frankly I'd rather talk about one of the films I saw there- Skeletons.

Davis and Bennett are exorcists, of a sort. Their clientele are engaged couples and the like, and the pair are concerned to exhuming nasty secrets and memories before people commit their lives to each other. It's not a nice business, but they're good at their jobs, and their boss, named only as the Colonel, has an appointment that might properly announce them within the apparently lucrative world of clearing skeletons out of closets.

Skeletons is one of three films I was unfortunate enough to miss on my recent trip to the Edinburgh International Film Festival, where it won the Michael Powell Award for Best New British Film, and seeking it out thereafter was definitely the right choice. If the idea of traversing people's innermost secrets and memories chimes with recent output, it's because Inception still looms large in UK cinemas. This marvellous British effort is a bit like that film, but with more of a sense of humour and less spectacle.

If Christopher Nolan's dream-faring blockbuster represented something of an odyssey, this is more of an oddity. It's the unusual little touches that make it seem so fresh and keep you watching. For instance, in trekking around middle England attending to peoples' buried traumas and secrets, there's no Skeleton-mobile. No Mystery Machine. No ECTO-1. They just walk. It lends itself immeasurably to the feeling of isolation in our protagonists' line of work that Davis and Bennett appear to walk from assignment to assignment, aside from one scene on a train as the "big job" kicks off.

In the lead roles, Ed Gaughan and Andrew Buckley make a fine double act. Gaughan's Davis is addicted to visiting one memory from his past in much the same way as a certain Cobb dallies with his deceased wife a few auditoriums down from wherever Skeletons is screening, and Buckley gives a very fine performance as his big-hearted colleague, struggling more with the clients' well-being than with the unsociable life he has to deal with because of his work.

Best of all though is Tuppence Middleton as the quiet-going-on-soft-spoken young woman who might hold the truth behind the "big job". I'd entirely forgotten about her after enjoying her performance in Tormented last summer, and she give a far more auspicious performance here, and one which I hope will get her noticed and cast in more projects. Jason Isaacs also makes a typically scene-stealing appearance as the mustachioed Colonel, driving his discordant duo to work harder and hinting at a broader industry of skeleton-outers happening off-screen.

It's definitely unfair to compare it to Inception, but I do mean it as a compliment. In Skeletons, writer and director Nick Whitfield has whipped up a terrific supernatural drama with as much ambition and nowhere near the budget. To pick a hole, it doesn't seem to have as much running time as it does ideas, which means the story becomes a little more dislocated towards the end. There's really little else to fault- who knew a light science fiction film could be this smart and inventive without a single bit of CGI?

It's leisurely paced and it was never really going to pack out multiplexes, but like all the best under-the-radar British gems, it's well worth delving into the closet of British cinema distribution Skeletons has sadly been buried within. It gets the maximum entertainment value out of an apparently modest effort, by utilising its great performers and quietly brilliant script. Oh, and Jason Isaacs' moustache.

Skeletons is now playing in selected cinemas across the UK.
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If and when you see Skeletons, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? What do you mean Andrew Buckley reminds you of an older, chubbier version of someone? I haven't the foggiest who you could mean...

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

TOY STORY 3 WEEK- The Edinburgh Premiere

As you'll know by now if you've been reading this week, I saw Toy Story 3 at its UK premiere on June 19th, at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. At the top of the week, I promised a vlog of some description, but as you might have surmised from how I also promised it would be poorly edited and hashed together, I kind of failed.

What I can do instead is blog about my experience in text instead!




The journey to and from Edinburgh was a five-hour trip each way, so upon arriving in the city at 4.30pm, I wasn't at my best. I caught a taxi to the hotel and from there, rushed off to the cinema to get some footage of the red carpet. Typically, I rushed out without my video camera.

The film started at 6pm and was generally rather excellent, as you'll have gathered this week. I also got hold of the first press screening pamphlet thingy of my film reviewing career, which was nice. There was a great introduction from animators Bobby Poedska and Mike Venturini before the film- everyone who works at Pixar seems personable enough that it really is the best workplace in the world.

One thing I haven't mentioned thus far is the traditional Pixar short before the film, this time called Day and Night, not to be confused with an upcoming and ambiguous-looking Tom Cruise film. My favourite of the Pixar shorts is still Presto! from before WALL•E, but this one makes a charming short out of the most simple concept imaginable. I'll say again, it must be the best bloody workplace in the world.

It should once again be reiterated though, seeing the film for the first time with a screenful of kids and their families probably enhanced the experience immeasurably. It's a great film anyway, but the reactions of the target audience were enjoyable too.

Despite what you see in that video though, I didn't see Sean Connery arrive. There were two more screenings starting after the one I saw, so he probably arrived on the red carpet later than I did. I also doubt I'd have been able to stop myself congratulating Henry Jones Sr. for not appearing in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and film geek determination doesn't go well with the kind of security stars of that calibre demand...

Anyway, afterwards I could've recorded some vlog stuff in my hotel room but instead chose to go and watch Macgruber, because it wasn't playing back in Middlesbrough and I had my Unlimited card with me. I reviewed that here, but didn't record much vlog material the following Sunday morning.

Even without the lack of material, my current video camera sucks, so the hotch-potch I was working on to show you today just sucks. Consider this my pledge to get a better camera and work on shooting enough material to give you worthwhile vlogs in the future.

In the meantime, this is the end of Toy Story 3 Week here for The Mad Prophet. Go and see the film when it's finally released in the UK on Monday!

Video courtesy of LondonCitySkies on YouTube, images from EIFF's Flickr stream and Millionaire Playboy.

TOY STORY 3 WEEK- The New Characters

In trilogies, so much of the world-building is done in the first two instalments that it's unusual to see many new characters appear in the third instalment. When you see The Lord of the Rings- The Return of the King, the only new characters with any bearing on the plot are Denethor, steward of Gondor and all-around douche, and Gothmog, who was a gnarly creature effect if anything.

Where Pixar have once again broke the mould is in introducing a wealth of new characters into Toy Story 3. As mentioned in my review at the start of the week, these characters figure nicely in the plot without ever short changing Woody, Buzz, Jessie et al. Spoilers may follow as I cover seven of those new characters.


Lotso Huggin' Bear

Lotso's a fairly beat up old-timer, based on a real-life toy from the 80s and voiced by Ned Beatty. He runs the show at the Sunnyside Daycare Centre, but like most of the toys therein, he's not what he seems and he proves an incredibly effective character when we see his origins.

Ken

With Barbie appearing for the first time in the second film, the third one brings her plastic beau to the screen, and gives him Michael Keaton's voice. The character proves an extraordinarily self-centred scene-stealer and you'll probably forget how awesome it would've been to hear Keaton voicing an unhinged Batman action figure.

Big Baby

This dopey lookin' bastard is one of those baby dolls that blinks its eyes, but his right eyelid was broken off long ago. Now he's something of an enforcer at Sunnyside, and his action figure has gone on tour with director Lee Unkrich to promote the film, arriving in the UK this week.

Bonnie's Toys

These toys belong to Bonnie, a young girl who's dropped off each day at Sunnyside. There's Mr. Pricklepants, a thespian hedgehog voiced by Timothy Dalton, which is just as funny as it sounds. The (male) unicorn is Buttercup and the triceratops is Trixie, who comes from the same range of dinosaur toys as Rex. These are the three I'll mention, but there's one more I'll let you see yourself, whose surprise appearance got one of the biggest laughs of the film.

The Monkey

Watch out for this scary bastard. That's all I'm saying. Jeez.

Toy Story 3 Week concludes tomorrow.

TOY STORY 3 WEEK- The Spoiler-Free Review

You might not realise it, but it's been a good eleven years since Toy Story 2. Toy Story 3 thus finds an all but grown-up Andy packing his bags for college. His toys have been packed in storage for a good while, and many of their number have been thrown away or passed on. Woody the cowboy looks set to be taken along to college, and so Buzz Lightyear and the rest of the toys donate themselves to the Sunnyside Daycare Centre, Woody trying to keep the gang together all the way.

To say much more would be to rob you of the experience of letting the film unfold before you. If you're any kind of fan of this series, then Toy Story 3 should be the film that takes you back to your youth more than any other in 2010. Director Lee Unkrich and writer Michael Arndt have found a perfect balance in treating the characters we know and love in new and original ways while still bringing in scores of new characters, and never short changing any of them.

Let's take a moment to compare that to another recent animated sequel. It almost feels like picking on Shrek Forever After when its most relevant competitor is a Pixar film (especially this Pixar film), but just look at what went into that. There's been a Shrek film every three years, like clockwork, since 2001. In the time Dreamworks took to make one really good film, two fairly average sequels and an absolute stinker in the middle, Pixar lovingly crafted just one sequel to one of their most beloved properties and made it damn near perfect.

The story hits some of the same beats as we've seen before, but as I've said, the joy of Toy Story 3 is how differently its all brought forward. We get the now regular Buzz malfunction, but it makes for a great comic relief aside as the second act action ploughs forward. The crisis of ownership from the second film comes to the fore in a big way here, but while the earlier plot turns dealt with the idea of immortality, this one's dealing very much in the realm of Dante's Inferno. For toys.

And d'you know which of the characters should be singled out here? Mr. Potato Head. Pixar make it look so effortless that it might have been planned all along, but it's quite important that one point that the respective parts of the Potato Heads move independently of their brown plastic shells. It's a tremendously creative sequence in the middle of a tremendously creative film, and one that uses such body horror quite liberally, for a change.

More than expected, they're playing with horror conventions in this one. Certain new characters could be downright nightmare fuel for younger viewers, but there's always that level of subversion that keeps the proceedings warm and funny. It is a nice touch for older viewers though, who perhaps even more than before can be as engrossed in the action as their younger companions and offspring.

The studio has come into a reputation for tear-jerking since Toy Story 2, liberally tugging at heartstrings in the likes of WALL•E and Up, and with Toy Story 3, there's no exceptions. I've heard various people admit to crying their hearts out at various points in the film, so if you know and like these characters, there's no telling where the film will get you. It would be a spoiler to tell you where it got me, but there's not a lot of shame in admitting that it did get me.

It may seem odd to some who've heard the advance buzz that I haven't mentioned Michael Keaton's performance as a Ken doll. His great vocal work complements a scene-stealing character excellently, but what also distinguishes Pixar as the best studio around is how they get real talents to do voices rather than big names. Stars as high-profile as Tom Hanks are practically invisible here. Hanks is excellent of course, as are Tim Allen, Ned Beatty, Timothy Dalton and the rest, but they're also subtle.

The only use you have for 3D glasses in this one is to hide the tears, a use that might have served you while watching Up last year as well. But all quibbling about the technology aside, it really didn't seem like this was in 3D at all. That's not to say that I forgot I was watching a 3D film, but that it seemed to make no difference. Naturally, I'm really looking forward to seeing Toy Story 3 in 2D, where the richly rendered visuals won't be impeded by a pair of plastic specs.

Don't doubt it for a second- Toy Story 3 is the must-see family film of the year. Hell, it eclipses most action films for thrills and spills, so if you don't have young ones in your immediate family circle, go and see it with some of your friends instead. But most of all, it preserves the same sense of humour and compelling storytelling that made its predecessors so great, capping off the story of some of the best-loved characters of an entire generation. Without a bit of hyperbole, I feel sorry for you if you're not going to see this one.

Toy Story 3 opens in cinemas, showing in 2D and 3D, on July 19th. Toy Story 3 Week continues tomorrow.

TOY STORY 3 WEEK- Introduction...

Welcome to Toy Story 3 Week on The Mad Prophet. Later in the week I'm hoping to bring you a somewhat uneven and hastily edited vlog on the business of my trip to see the film at the Edinburgh International Film Festival last month, but it seems only right that the first order of business is my review of the film.

Yeah, there's been one of these things from me up on Den of Geek for a while now, written up in double-quick time at the hotel the morning after I saw the film. I'd like to think this one has the benefit of hindsight, although I'll still be discussing the film with next to no spoilers. There'll probably a spoiler-ish review after the film has been released next week.

OK, so it is another week before the film's proper UK release (FINALLY), but with nothing new out this week that I haven't already covered and The Karate Kid and Inception to cover next week, makes sense to do this themed week now.


Enjoy!

The Most I'll Ever Pay To See One Film...

Frequent readers of this blog (the appeal to improve your quality of life is ongoing) will know that I'm fairly buzzed about one film this summer. It continues the legacy of characters very near and dear to me. This third instalment is sure to be the film that everyone of all ages wants to see this summer.


NOT THAT! This!

Yep, Toy Story 3 is coming. In the UK, it's coming a month later than America and several other territories get it. It's funny how Disney then use this film in the summer's anti-piracy ads in cinemas, as it seems likely to be the most pirated film of the year. The platform releasing will see to that. But hey, Disney usually screws the UK over a bit on these things.

The main thing is, I'm getting around that in the way only an obsessive fan can- I'm going to see the film at the Edinburgh International Film Festival's 3D gala screening on June 19th. It's still one day after America gets it, but better that than one month.

On the down side, with accomodation and travel in addition to the ticket cost, this is going to set me back about £100. As a student who hasn't been able to find a proper job for the summer, that's only cheap if you say it quickly. Onehundredquid.

So you'd better believe that for that amount of money, I'm going to be covering Toy Story 3 for all it's worth on this blog and wherever else will allow me to ramble on about it.

Just so you know.