Showing posts with label jude law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jude law. Show all posts

Round the Twist

As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion here- others are available. Given how I'm talking about twist endings, there will be some spoilers here for Remember Me. It's been on release for a good while now, but if you haven't seen it yet and want to, do not read the review.

If you're M. Night Shyamalan, your entire oeuvre revolves around the twist ending. Hell, even your upcoming Last Airbender film will probably follow suit ("The air is bending US!") if his previous works are anything to go by. Seeing as how most film-makers are not M. Night Shyamalan, you'd think they'd be halfway competent at doing twists every once in a while.

And yet rattling around multiplexes at the moment are romantic drama Remember Me and sci-fi action flick Repo Men, both of which resort to lame twists to bolster audience response in the final reel. As mentioned above, there will be spoilers for Remember Me in the review, but the Repo Men review will remain largely spoiler-free, as usual- that comes first...
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Repo Men takes place in the near future, where shady medical insurers The Union provide the world with synthetic organ transplants on the terms of a strict payment plan. If you fall behind on payments, the eponymous bailiffs will track you down and take your organs. One of the repo men, Remy, has an accident at work that wasn't his fault, but rather than getting in touch with Claims Direct, he's saddled with a payment plan on his replacement organs. He's also grown a conscience in the process, and seeks to bring down The Union.

Does the beginning of that sound familiar? You may have seen Repo! The Generic Opera, an ultimately ephemeral attempt to make a Rocky Horror equivalent for the torture porn generation. Still, it's succeeded on a moderate level as a cult classic and has Anthony Head, which is always good. This only has Jude Law. But then both films were pipped to the post by a great gag in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, (and Repo Men overtly references said gag) so let's get that argument out of the way before it even transpires.

As mentioned, this does have Jude Law. The man is anathema to me except for a few select roles, including his recent turn as Watson in Sherlock Holmes, which is probably the best screen version of that character ever. Here, Law never convinces as a gung-ho action hero of the American ilk- he's too smarmy and posh. And it's a problem that he's less likeable than Liev Schrieber, because Schreiber is playing one of the antagonists.
One thing that does make Repo Men worth a watch is the turn by Forrest Whittaker. The man has made some mootable efforts both before and after his Oscar win for playing Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland, but he's a joy to watch here. His character is like a cross between the buddy cop and the over-the-top villains you'd see in 80s action films. Nick Frost in Hot Fuzz meets Vernon Wells in Commando, and just as funny. Others might sleepwalk through a role like this, but Whittaker actually makes it feel like a bold choice for an actor of his calibre. And kudos to him for it- what the hell have Halle Berry or Adrien Brody done lately?

Sadly, there's not much else to recommend about the film. Like its equally grisly forebear (only without the songs), it falls short of the concept's inherent potential by deploying excessive visual stimulus and next to no substance. The future may not be bright, but does it have to look like Blade Runner with product placement? A few moments are reminiscent of the brainless fun of Crank and Shoot 'Em Up, but these pale next to a misjudged social parallel that's already been explored in last year's Saw VI. Healthcare sucks in America! We get it! Let Obama sort it and stop making sub-par movies.

The lovingly orchestrated violence goes remiss in Repo Men because it's taking itself too seriously. Screenwriters Eric Garcia and Garrett Lerner have contrived a few scenes you won't see elsewhere this year, like a 9-year-old surgeon replacing a knee-cap and some unexpected typewriter violence, but its offset by an annoying and smug narration from Jude Law and that downright worthless twist ending I mentioned above. And the ending is borrowed from a much better Terry Gilliam film, which I won't name here. Ultimately disappointing stuff, although that great turn from Forrest Whittaker might be worth a watch once the film comes on telly.
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Last warning- here there be spoilers. Remember Me is the latest vehicle for Bicycle Seat Face himself, Robert Pattinson. He plays Tyler, a tearaway university student who nihilistically romps around New York with his family issues in full view. After incurring police brutality from a widowed detective, Tyler's frat boy roommate sets him up with Ally, the detective's daughter, in a plot to seduce her for revenge. Or something. Tyler and Ally pontificate on the importance of living for the moment as they grow closer, because life can be too short. And if that's not foreboding, I don't know what is.

Why the spoilers? For a change, I can't really talk about this film without talking about the ending, because it changes so much of how you view it. For the most part, I'll honestly say that "RPattz" hasn't been in a film this good since Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which isn't really saying much, especially as he's still rubbish at acting. But this ending can't even be defended as a tribute to New York and its people's perserverance, as its people in this film are all white and middle-class. Basically, Tyler reaches a turning point in his daddy issues and finds happiness with Ally. As he goes to a meeting in his father's office building, it's revealed that his father works in one of the Twin Towers, and the date is September 11th 2001.

I'd been informed of this twist in advance, and indeed only saw the film to confirm it actually existed. Sadly, it does, and the film-makers were actually brazen enough to evoke the biggest tragedy of the 21st century in a cloying and utterly reprehensible twist. As Kick-Ass has shown, "morally reprehensible" is a phrase that critics use to say "I didn't like this and you definitely shouldn't", so I won't say that outright. But you judge for yourself, whether this largely soggy romantic drama is wrong to use real human tragedy to masquerade as something more profound or emotional.

All of this said, as soggy romantic dramas go, it's not all that bad. Excluding the last five or so minutes (yes, it really comes into play that late), it's a reasonably engaging romance, which is quite an achievement when the lead character is a teaky RPattz. The guy still can't act, as shown most potently in a showdown with his screen father, a surprisingly good Pierce Brosnan. Arms firmly by his sides, he mopes uncomfortably as Brosnan brings a real energy to the argument. Emilie de Ravin does a good job of romancing her driftwood co-star too.

It's not without flaccid character stereotypes though, with Chris Cooper reprising his awkward father figure from American Beauty and Tate Ellington appearing on my radar simply to annoy me as a wacky comic-relief frat boy. I do concede that Ruby Jerins isn't bad as the token younger sister, she's just poorly utilised. As I've said though, the film didn't really raise my hackles until the last five minutes. Inoffensive is exactly the word to use, in direct contrast to the sheer affront of the tacked-on 9/11 twist. I could have respected it a lot more if they'd made the exact same point without such an epic and gratuitous device- the film opens with a young Ally's mother being mugged and murdered by random thugs, why would an ending reflecting that with Tyler have been any less profound?

That ending notwithstanding, Remember Me is still a film that is utterly overshadowed by its competition in the cinemas at the moment. Cemetery Junction is an infinitely more moving and enjoyable portrait of teenage rebellion. Clash of the Titans isn't a masterpiece, but it doesn't invoke Greek mythology as clumsily or as broodingly as this. Kick-Ass is less "morally reprehensible". Vested in a vehicle for Robert Pattinson, the better aspects of the story never really come forward. And sadly, so much of what was decent about the prior 100 minutes is wiped out by the last 5. The highest praise I can grant it as a whole is "almost passable".
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Although I reckon you're best off waiting for DVD at the very least, both Remember Me and Repo Men are both playing in cinemas nationwide. If you've seen either of them, why not share your thoughts on the films, the reviews and on Snape killing Dumbledore/other twists in the comments below?

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Holmes Away From Holmes

Did everyone have a good Christmas then? A big old blog post is coming after 8pm on New Year's Day, when David Tennant will have handed the key to the TARDIS over to Eleventh Doctor Matt Smith and I'll be some manner of soggy, crying wreck on the sofa. Part One of "The End of Time" astounded and confused me in equal measure, but I loved it. But to the matter at hand- Christmas Day has given way to Boxing Day, which is the unofficial National 'Nothing Happens' Day. It does however herald the release of Sherlock Holmes in UK cinemas, so I went along to see that. As something of a regular disclaimer, it's only my opinion on here- others are available. As ever, mild spoilers may occur in the process of reviewing, but never so far as to spoil any major plot developments.

So Sherlock Holmes is the latest reinvention of Arthur Conan Doyle's anti-social but brilliant detective, gadding around Victorian London with his loyal friend and war veteran, Dr. John Watson. With Guy Ritchie at the helm, this version sees Holmes and Watson take on Lord Henry Blackwood, a practitioner of the dark arts who is hanged after Holmes brings him to justice. When Blackwood rises from the grave, a chain of events are set in motion that threaten to change the world forever, not to mention the implications for the weary Watson's imminent engagement. Matters are complicated further by the involvement of the only person ever to outwit Holmes, the beautiful and wily Irene Adler, who has a shady employer working behind the scenes...

I should say at this relatively early point of the review that I read the script for this film some six months ago. My verdict then was that it was a film that would be made or broken by its performances, not by its plot or writing. There appears to have been a couple of rewrites since the version I downloaded, emphasising certain of the minor aspects detailed above, but I still think that holds true. The one potentially fatal flaw of the film is that is fails to establish and maintain a balance between comedy and horror. It's a rip-roaring historical adventure like the best of that cinematic sub-set, but physical comedy jars with the more atmospheric and creepy stuff. At some points, it's in danger of looking like the result of a high-speed collision between Shanghai Knights and From Hell. It's really saved from that by its cast, who are excellent without exception.


Robert Downey Jr. hasn't been changed much by his suddenly ballooning fame and renown, and he's still a terrific actor. He sports a surprisingly good English accent for Holmes, and really brings out the misanthropic aspects of Conan Doyle's original character. Jude Law also embodied certain overlooked aspect of the literary Watson- he's more like the wounded soldier than the slightly-awed sidekick of other adaptations. But more on that in a bit, because although these two take centre-stage, Mark Strong very nearly steals the show as the villainous Lord Blackwood- a really threatening screen villain who wields enormous presence throughout. Rachel McAdams is slightly less memorable but no less competent as Irene, mostly because the script has slightly crossed purposes, in presenting her both as a match for Holmes and as a damsel in distress where the plot requires one.

Adler is more than just eye candy though, and she's one of many things that have been transported to the film from the literary canon, where Holmes also fancied the pants off her and referred to her only as "the woman". However, the story isn't adapted from one of Conan Doyle's, and it's blatantly been a little sexed-up for the Hollywood treatment. For instance, another of the less prominent aspects of previous versions of Holmes is his skill as both a boxer and a fencer. In front of Guy Ritchie's lens, this makes Holmes a shirtless bare-knuckle fighter, albeit one who still uses his wits in the process of felling his opponents. In that respect at least, Downey Jr's Holmes is like no other before him, but the characters are translated very well for the most part. Law's Watson gets frequently gets fed up with Holmes' foibles, and quite right too- you can believe they've had to get on with each other for a very long time, and the performances just add another dimension to that.


Looking to the future is an almost inescapable act in the course of watching Sherlock Holmes. I'm really not spoiling anything by saying that Adler's shady employer is Professor Moriarty, because it's a fact that will be obvious to anyone who has ever been aware of the Holmes canon from the first rendezvous between Rachel McAdams and a handily shadow-laden gentleman. It's more reminiscent of the early Blofeld appearances in James Bond than of the tantalising glimpse of a joker card at the end of Batman Begins, and that's a slight problem. It's rare that a film seems so obviously set on a sequel, and that's difficult to get around whenever Moriarty appears (or rather doesn't appear) in this one. But as I said, those appearances are fleeting, and I imagine that a second viewing will allow me to get more swept up in Blackwood's doings now that I know the extent of the other baddy's involvement.

To recap though, 2009 began with the tidings that Guy Ritchie, he of Revolver fame, was directing Sherlock Holmes, with an American (even if that American is a brilliant actor) in the title role and Jude "smarmy fuck" Law as Watson. I was understandably gnashing my teeth with disgust at this prospect. Now we're at the opposite end of the year and I've actually seen the film, I can happily report that there's no shit in Sherlock. This is different to any other film Guy Ritchie has ever directed, and it's certainly much more entertaining. Tonally uneven, but a terrific adventure to which I wouldn't object about seeing a sequel in a couple of years. At least not too vociferously anyway.

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Planet 51 and Nowhere Boy still to come before the end of the year, along with a few others I mentioned in the Christmas Eve post. On top of that, I'll be bringing you my personal favourite and least favourite films in cinemas for the last year. I'll hold off the lists for the decade until next month, because they might take a little longer to ponder and collate. I'm sure you're waiting with bated breath for that, but in the meantime, why not post your thoughts on Sherlock Holmes in the comments?

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, have a very Merry Christmas.

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