Outside The Box- BURIED Review

Buried is one of those films that's basically sold as seen- it's about a bloke who gets buried alive. Specifically, the bloke is Paul Conroy, a contracted truck driver who wakes up six feet under in a coffin. At his disposal, he has a zippo lighter, a mobile phone and numerous other scant resources provided by his captor, but most pressingly, he has little hope of being found and rescued.

Oh, and at the very top, I'm going to say that it's an arthouse horror film that has been sold far too well. It attracted tonnes of patrons to the screening I saw- patrons who laughed at inappropriate moments, texted and browsed the internet on their phone and generally made total twats of themselves. I rarely get this kind of experience in cinemas in spite of how often I go, and I was absolutely livid when I came out of the screening. But is Buried a good film? Fuck yes.

With his debut English language feature, director Rodrigo Cortés scorches the viewer's nerves in an area no larger than seven feet by three feet. We never leave Paul's coffin for even a second of the film's 95 minutes, and the suspense never ebbs away or relents. A frankly unorthodox script by writer Chris Sparling is bolstered by his confident style, as well as the terrific musical score and, of course, the brilliant central performance.

It only occurred to me an hour or so after seeing the film that I should have been more sceptical about Buried before going in. While I try not to presume the quality or lack thereof in any film, it's 95 minutes of Ryan Reynolds in a coffin. Ryan "Van Wilder" Reynolds! Turns out I was right all along though, because Reynolds is excellent. If ever a film could have been made or broken by a single performance, it was this one. I'm flattering Reynolds to say that the Academy will totally ignore the fantastic work he does here when it comes to Oscars season, because they also ignored Sam Rockwell's dauntless performance in Moon last year.

There are other performers involved, by way of the voices that the desperate Paul hears on the phone, but it's largely all on Ryan Reynolds' shoulders. That said, I'll give kudos to casing director Stephanie Corsalini for putting Stephen Tobolowsky in that one fantastic dialogue exchange that comes late in the film. Groundhog Day's Ned Ryerson is clearly the last person you want on the other end of the phone, saying the things that he does, and it makes even this most insipid formality seem skin-crawling. It almost feels like detracting from Reynolds to say so though- it's odd that he has the most room to show off his hitherto uncelebrated acting talent inside a cramped wooden box.

Lesser films would... No, hang on, let me keep that current. Ahem. Films like Devil don't commit to a premise as bold as the one on show here. That film in particular left the elevator in which its conflict was centred, lacking the courage to even work with four more people and a few more cubic feet than Cortés and Sparling have to play with. The result was an extreme distance from most of the characters, and an inability to sympathise with them.

In Buried, you're dying to get out and get some air, but you're not bored. That the central idea is sustained for as long as 95 minutes without ever becoming stale is simply remarkable, especially as the same idea has been explored with less courage by other directors. The idea of being buried alive is surely a terrifying concept to anyone, but the only instances in which I can really think of it being explored on film are in The Vanishing, Kill Bill Volume 2 and most inauspiciously, Step Brothers. Here, the idea is mined for its full horrific potential, and it's done to eke out the most tension and suspense throughout.

Buried is a film that could have fallen down at so many hurdles, but do not mistake it for anything but an arthouse horror film. It deserves to do well, but after my experience, I would advise people to wait a week until the herd has passed it by, declared it the worst film they've ever seen on Facebook, and fucked off to see Final Destination 12. Ryan Reynolds gives the performance of a lifetime, but the film doesn't even use that as a crutch. Suspenseful, chilling and really rather brilliant.

Buried is now showing at cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen Buried, why not share your comments below? The complaint that annoyed me most from the arch-fuckers in the cinema on the way out? "It's an hour and a half of a bloke crying in a box." Oh readers, how I wished to bury him in the desert and see if he didn't cry...

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Easy Peasy Braised Chinese Cabbage

Braised cabbage is not exactly the most sexiest of dishes but when done right, will complement any dish with its amazing flavors. And best of all, it is easy to make. Here's what you need:

1 lb. Chinese cabbage (cut into medium-sized pieces)
1/2 large onion (julienned)
1 teaspoon chopped garlic
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons Shaoxing cooking wine
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon sugar
1-2 cups chicken broth/stock
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup Dried shrimp (optional)

Start by sweating the onions and cooking the garlic in a shallow pot. Add the cabbage and then the rest of the ingredients (start with one cup of chicken broth first). Mix it up thoroughly, bring the pot to a simmer and cover. As the cabbage starts to wilt, mix the ingredients in the pot again, making sure everything gets cooked evenly. If the liquid level in the pot starts to get too low, add the other cup of chicken broth that you have left over. Braise the cabbage for approximately 20-30 minutes until it becomes real soft. Finally, do a taste tests and season with salt and pepper as needed.

And you are done! Braised cabbage goes well with neutral tasting white fish like haddock or tilapia. It adds a new dimension of salty and sour flavors when accompanying those dishes.

Ken Burns' "Baseball: The Tenth Inning" on PBS Tonight (9/28/10)

Director Ken Burns is the equivalent of America's resident historian/documentarian. Burns' resume of documentaries looks like a giant slice of American history with subjects ranging from "The Civil War," "Jazz" and "The National Parks" to "Mark Twain" and "Thomas Jefferson." 1990's "The Civil War" is considered his masterpiece, garnering many industry awards along the way. Then there is "Baseball" from 1994, an 18-and-a-half hour epic chronicling America's favorite pastime. That documentary was divided into 9 parts (appropriately referred to as an "inning") with each one focusing on a particular era (roughly a decade) in the history of the game, ending in 1993. Ironically, the film aired on PBS in 1994, the year of the baseball players' strike in which the World Series was cancelled, the first time this has happened since 1904.

Now Ken Burns is back with a follow-up to "Baseball" and it is titled,"Baseball: The Tenth Inning," a two-part four hour program that continues where he left off with the first film. Each part would be titled, "Top of the 10th" and "Bottom of the 10th" respectively and it would cover, the 1994 strike, the home-run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa in 1998, the New York Yankees' run of World Series wins, dominant players like Pedro Martinez, Ichiro Suzuki, Cal Ripken Jr, the Red Sox's 2004 World Series and of course, the infamous steroid era, with a focus on Barry Bonds as a tragic figure.

In short, if you love the game of baseball, you have to tune in to your PBS station today (Sep. 28th) and tomorrow (Sep. 29th) to watch "The Tenth Inning."

Jerk Offed- WORLD'S GREATEST DAD Review

In case you didn't spot it two weeks ago, I mentioned that I wouldn't review Cyrus because it was too slight to write about, and too much an attempt to take mumblecore into the mainstream, precisely the place where it doesn't belong, and not enough of an actual film. So it was pleasing to see World's Greatest Dad this week, the kind of thing Cyrus was striving to be all along.

The titular dad is Lance Clayton, a teacher and aspiring novelist whose 15-year-old son Kyle is an antagonistic and thoroughly hateful little shit. He spends all day masturbating in his room and treating his father and everyone else like crap. When he dies while experimenting with autoerotic asphyxiation, Lance works through his grief by retroactively rationalising his son's behaviour with a fake suicide note, which captures the imagination of his students and peers.

You might need to look at it twice, but I assure you, it's the same Robin Williams in World's Greatest Dad who starred in Old Dogs earlier this year. It's not that we didn't know Williams has acting chops, but I wonder if anyone realised he would still do films as good as this in between worthless and unfunny family comedies. We know how versatile he is, and he does very well here balancing the dark comedy with the deceptively serious subject matter.

It also goes without saying that Daryl Sabara's a big surprise here too. As Kyle, he shows his capabilities beyond the numerous Spy Kids films, making an utterly repugnant character really watchable and intriguing. Even in being so cartoonishly horrible to his screen dad, he works well enough with Williams that his presence is felt even after his character disappears. Having forgotten about him entirely before I saw this film, I'm now very interested to see what he does next.

Needless to say, the comedy is so dark, it's pitch black. However, it's not above giving the audience some great laugh-out-loud moments alongside the serious message at its heart. Watching the film put me in mind of that John Lennon quote about worshipping those who survived, like Greta Garbo or Gloria Swanson, rather than idolising Jim Morrison or James Dean because they burnt out. World's Greatest Dad has a great deal to say about the way people venerate the dead.

Kyle's fellow pupils know he was an arsehole. Everyone knows that. This much is made incredibly clear in the first half hour because Sabara is so good at being hated. Bobcat Goldthwait writes it that way so that the piggyback riding of grief that follows is all too apparent, and the reason the film works so well as a satire is in how it holds up a mirror to the hero worship of which Lennon so disapproved, and the way that grief becomes a commodity to people when they can hijack it.

Looking at Robin Williams' recent acting career, it almost feels like he died accidentally and someone pretended he was in World's Greatest Dad to protect his legacy. It's just so sour and dark and yet it's a brilliant comedy that matches its real off-kilter sense of humour to a strong social conscience. Goldthwait tackles slightly disturbing subject matter very well indeed, and it's ironic that distributors don't seem to have been able to figure out how to market such an uncommonly honest satire. 

World's Greatest Dad will presumably materialise on DVD and Blu-ray in the UK before the end of the year.
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If you've seen World's Greatest Dad, why not share your comments below? The campaign for Robin Williams to stop starring in awful shit begins here!

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Amazon Deal: "Die Hard Collection" for $29.99

Just came across this deal on Amazon.com. If you are waiting to get Bruce Willis' "Die Hard Collection," featuring all 4 movies in one package, the time is now. For $29.99, that's less than $10 for each movie on Blu-ray. It can't get any cheaper than this, folks. Follow the link above and add some Bruce Willis love to your collection.

All four movies are action-packed extravaganzas and on Blu-ray, that's magnified even further. According to site, High-Def Digest, this set is chock full of goodness on all counts, video, audio and supplements. For another positive opinion on this set, try DVD Beaver. The only knock on this Blu-ray set is that the final movie, "Live Free or Die Hard" is not the already-released Unrated version. I think it's still a great deal for this set.

Top 10 Asian Ingredients Every Cook Should Have

Browsing through CNN's website today, I came across a brief article about the top 10 Asian ingredients that should be a staple in everyone's kitchen. The list comes from the 2 executive chefs at New York City's renowned Buddakan restaurant, Chefs Brian Ray and Yang Huang.

Here's their list:

Chef Brian Ray's

1. Kewpie Mayo

Kewpie is the most fabulous mayonnaise ever. It’s just awesome. You can fix anything with some of this stuff.

2. 3 Crab brand Fish Sauce

Fish sauce can run the gamut. They can be too strong or too salty. 3 Crab is middle of the road and just has that perfect flavor.

3. Mae Ploy Chili Sauce

It’s a viscous, sweet chili sauce. It will stick to anything. I love to marinate chicken in it and throw it on the grill. The sugars in it caramelize perfectly.

4. Hoisin Sauce

To me, hoisin is the most generic, basic and solidly good sauce you can have. It’s like the KC Masterpiece of Asian food. You can put it almost on everything and it’s good every time.

5. XO Sauce

I refer to this as the truffle oil of Chinatown. If you want to add a unique flavor or finish a sauce, this is what you should use. It has a chili flavor, but with a robust seafood essence. They may cost about the same, but truffle oil is an artificial flavor, and XO is an all natural “luxury” item, made from high-quality ingredients

Yang Huang's List

1. Soy Sauce

I can’t think of an Asian pantry not having soy sauce in it. It’s very common ingredient used in so many dishes. It’s really a must-have.

2. Sweet Rice

I love this type of rice because it’s toothsome. It has a bite and it’s heartier.

3. TYJ brand Spring Roll Wrappers (TYJ brand)

This one’s my favorite because of quality. Spring roll wrappers are great because you can do so much with them. You can make egg rolls, wontons, spring rolls. They add such a nice texture.

4. Chinese Five Spice

When you taste this there’s no doubt that you’re eating something Asian. It’s a unique flavor to our culture. It’s an essential in many dishes such as Peking duck.

5. Oyster Sauce

The beauty of oyster sauce is that if you use it you don’t need to add a lot of different ingredients since its flavor is so unique and complex. It’s like soy sauce, but thicker and with more body. It has a shellfish flavor and is salty but not too overpowering.

Here's the original article on CNN at Eatocracy.

I pretty much agree with everything here. I would add my own list:
1. Freshly toasted and grounded cumin and coriander spices
2. Coconut milk
3. Sesame oil
4. Shaoxing cooking wine
5. ABC brand sweet soy sauce (or "kicap manis")

In a pinch, these ingredients can be used to cook with almost any ingredient. So, it's time to stock up.

Visit Boston! - THE TOWN Review

Hiding under the yoke of an entirely innocuous title, The Town is Ben Affleck's second directorial effort after the superb Gone Baby Gone. It's about a gang of highly skilled and meticulous thieves in Charlestown, Boston- an area that we're told has produced more bank robbers and car thieves than anywhere else on the planet.

When the clean-up of a bank robbery gets messy, Doug, the brains of the operation, forges a relationship with Claire, the bank manager they took hostage. Claire is unaware of their connection to each other, but dogged FBI agent Frawley is doing his utmost to find any evidence to incriminate the gang and send them to prison for life.

Having seen Good Will Hunting, Gone Baby Gone and now The Town, I think Ben Affleck's trying to tell us something about Boston in his writing. He hates the place. He really just has contempt for Boston- although the latter two films are more about how everyone who lives there is a scumbag, even Good Will Hunting has Affleck's character threatening to kill Will if he doesn't get out of their shit hometown and make something of himself. Not to say that it's a verité perspective on the city, but let's say he's not concerned with tourism films.

Whether Boston's a corrupting force or a symbol around which criminal elements rally, there's no denying that it's a character all by itself in Affleck's directorial works so far. In The Town, we see that he's grown as a director since his first film, developing a mean eye for what makes a great action sequence as well as making some edge-of-the-seat intense moments without the need for jump-scares or chase scenes.

The narrow sidestreets of Charlestown make for a surprisingly claustrophobic car chase midway through the film, one of the standout sequences of the year, but there's just as much excitement in a scene where three characters sit together at an outdoor diner. Affleck's less remarkable in front of the camera than he is behind it, but he certainly gives a much better performance in this than he has elsewhere. And it's so perfectly acted by the rest of the cast that it's hard not to give credit for his perfect casting of those other roles.

While it's a film that's better than any one of its performances alone, there are almost too many fantastic turns in it, without enough room to breathe. For me, the standout was Mad Men star Jon Hamm as Frawley, a cop who's decidedly less dapper than Don Draper, but he's relentlessly watchable. He's better than your average tenacious FBI guy because of some of the excellent dialogue he gets, which Hamm delivers with an acid tongue and a knowing smirk. Jeremy Renner is also marvellous as Jem, Doug's volatile best friend- a loose cannon played so well that we could've stood to see a whole lot more of him.

If anything, that's the major drawback of The Town. While it's a somewhat welcome deference to 1970s crime drama crib-sheets, its supporting characters are never entirely fleshed out. Not that I need or want to know everything about underused characters played by Blake Lively, Pete Postlethwaite or Chris Cooper, but the performers put so much into them that you wish they could be explored more. Although it works for Cooper and Postlethwaite, who make blistering impressions in their respective brief roles, the women of the film are sidelined.

It's a very macho film, to be sure, but that's no excuse for the way Blake Lively and Rebecca Hall's Claire are so easily forgotten by the viewer at certain stages. Lively gives a career-changing performance, de-glamming enough that she convinces as the damaged-goods hooker who trails around after Doug, but she doesn't have much to work with in the sprawling narrative. It's particularly unforgivable with Hall though- happy as I was to see Frawley connecting the dots and zinging perps with verbal barbs, Claire's relationship with Doug serves more as an inciting incident than a compelling romance.

If only these problems had been redressed, I would really be trumpeting The Town as a serious contender at the next Oscar ceremony, and perhaps after snubbing Gone Baby Gone, the Academy may feel they at least owe Ben Affleck one of the ten Best Picture nominations. What holds it back from being up there with the very best of the year is in how he doesn't explore his characters as thoroughly as he did in his debut feature. There's nothing here so thought-provoking as to parallel the jaw-dropping decision that Casey Affleck's character makes at the end of Gone Baby Gone.

The Town does make an old formula seem very fresh and exciting by way of its excellent direction and outstanding cast, but it's slightly lacking in character depth. It's supremely understated, but simultaneously more commercial and accessible than Gone Baby Gone. It's clear that Ben Affleck will shake off any detrimental reputation very shortly if he keeps this up- he's an even-handed director who could go on to carve out a career as great as Clint Eastwood's. In the meantime, enjoy an intense crime thriller that's smart enough to excuse any flaws.

The Town is now showing in cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen The Town, why not share your comments below? If Affleck does carry on making films of this calibre, I'm really serious about that Clint Eastwood thing- he just needs to get the Boston rage out of his system first...

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

The First Signs of Fall in New England

Yes, it's hard to believe but Fall has just arrived here in New England. Since the first few days of September--where we had a last blast of steamy summer weather--the daily temperature's been hovering around 64F-75F, the first signs of the impending change in the seasons. Well, today I finally saw leaves changing their colors and these are the first couple of them to drop in my backyard.

The changing season also brings to mind the fall vegetable growing season. Among the first greens that come to mind are hardy ones like collard, kale, mustard, escarole, swiss chard and brussels sprouts. Also in full bloom in the Fall are spinach, arugula, lettuce, snap peas, green beans, broccoli, cabbage and bok choy. Other Fall favorites include beets, sweet potato, turnips, rutabaga, cranberry, pumpkin, radish, leeks and fennel. As you can see, there is no shortage of vegetables that you can plant in your garden in the Fall.

So get busy!

Teriyaki Ginger-Glazed Salmon

One of the best use for teriyaki sauce, I find, is to use it as a sweet glaze for salmon. The glaze that I use, combines teriyaki sauce, ginger, orange (juice and rind) plus a spoonful of sugar. To prepare the glaze, start off by sauteing some chopped fresh ginger in a small pot. When you start smelling the fragrance of the cooked ginger, add 1 cup of teriyaki sauce, 1/2 cup of orange juice and 1 teaspoon of sugar to the pot. Bring to a simmer and stir to mix everything thoroughly. Reduce the liquid slightly and let it sit to cool down. The consistency should be thicker than regular teriyaki.

Next, season the salmon with salt and pepper and do a quick pan-fry until the surface of the salmon crusts up a little. The fish doesn't have to cook all the way. We can finish it up in the oven. Brush the teriyaki glaze onto the salmon and sprinkle with some sesame seeds. Place the fish in the oven at 350F for about 5 minutes or until almost cooked all the way. Turn the broiler on in the oven and place the salmon under the heating element until it starts to sizzle. Remove and you are done.

For side dishes, I chose to go with stir-fried green beans and carrots and top off the dish with some fresh crunchy bean sprouts. Finish it off by decorating the plate with the leftover teriyaki glaze.

And That's Funny, Right?!- THE OTHER GUYS Review

Did you lose your job during the recession? Has your credit rating plummeted? Then you know there has to be comedy in that, right? Right?! This is the pandering central conceit of The Other Guys, from the creative team behind Anchorman. After a blistering action-packed opening starring Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, we're introduced to the titular other guys, played by Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.

Pen-pusher Allen Gamble and disgraced detective Terry Hoitz get their big chance to go up in the world when they stumble upon evidence of a Ponzi scheme orchestrated by a devious CEO. Working around the fact that they're utterly incompetent and have to have their balls busted every other day by their long-suffering boss, they go on a journey of... oh, look, it's just a buddy cop comedy, right?

Let me remind you of a film that limped in and out of UK cinemas earlier this year. It was called Cop Out, and people seemed to hate it. As a big Kevin Smith fan, it disappointed me- I found it to be lacking in his usual earnestness and humour, muddled in the plot department and all in all, it felt way too self-indulgent. I'm baffled by all the great reviews The Other Guys is getting, because the difference between Smith's film and Adam McKay's film is six of one and half a dozen of the other.

If anything, the plot in this is even more muddled than Cop Out. While that one at least had some motivation for our protagonists, this is merely a series of comedy sketches strung together by some vague political implications. It's like the filmmakers are breaking the fourth wall and saying "Will Ferrell is a geeky cop! And that's funny, right?!" Sadly, the answer is mostly no! I like Ferrell, but so much of his ad-libbing here utterly missed the mark for me.

Luckily, he's played against Mark Wahlberg, a natural comedy actor, as anybody who has seen The Happening will testify. His infuriated yelling for Ferrell to shut up is often a lot funnier than whatever tangent Ferrell is off on. They at least have a decent dynamic going, and I'd happily have watched any number of short sketches with them riffing on one another. The plot in this one just doesn't work, and it drags the film out to 107 minutes. Not a long film, but a film that feels really, really long.

It does have more than a few belly-laughs, an area in which Cop Out was definitely lacking, but come on! This one's surely only getting such a good buzz because of the goodwill towards Ferrell and McKay. This is by far the weakest film they've made together- I enjoyed Anchorman, Talladega Nights and Step Brothers and so my expectations were high. Were they met? Fuck no!

Individual elements of it are great, but I wanted to see most of those elements more than we saw Will Ferrell. Exempt from that are Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson, whose extended cameos are the most perfectly pitched comedic roles the film has to offer. Also, Steve Coogan- either he doesn't ad-lib well or they just gave his character really crappy dialogue. But I'd happily have seen more of Michael Keaton or Eva Mendes, dammit!

The Other Guys is a film that almost felt calculated to alienate me as it went along. I laughed a lot in the first half hour, but that's not enough to give the whole film a pass. It's only sporadically funny and sadly more concerned with throwing in Blues Brothers style car chases than being consistent and coherent. Wait until DVD if you're a fan of Ferrell. If you're not, then don't watch Cop Out either, but to those trumpeting this as the second coming, they're both different shades of the same disappointing colour.

The Other Guys is now showing in cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen The Other Guys, why not share your comments below? Incidentally, even though I like Step Brothers, I'm going to slap the next person who yells "It's the fuckin' Catalina wine-mixer" in public. Unless we're actually at the Catalina wine-mixer. Which seems unlikely.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

"Red Riding Trilogy" - The Very Best of British Crime Noir

Acclaimed British author David Peace wrote a quartet of crime novels set in the county seat of Yorkshire in northern England. He named them the "Red Riding Quartet" and three of those novels were adapted by Tony Grisoni and translated into three films that were produced for British television and were recently brought over stateside as theatrical releases. IFC Films just released the trilogy as a Special Edition DVD and Blu-ray sets and I have the review right here: RED RIDING Trilogy DVD Review.

Here's an excerpt of my review:
"Not for the faint of heart, the “Red Riding” trilogy is a daunting and complex web of interconnected events that will test the audience's endurance as well as their ability to keep track of the story as it moves from the present to flashbacks and back without much warning. Strict continuity is forsaken as each movie offers a new angle or a glimpse into events that had already occurred. As the layers are slowly peeled away, the puzzle pieces start to come together until it finally reaches a dramatic crescendo in the last film's fantastic finale. In a movie series that incessantly projects such a bleak undertone, it is a fitting culmination--almost like sunshine shining through the clouds--to what has been, up to that point, the absolute failure of good triumphing over evil. Patience is truly rewarded."

And my final conclusion:
"The “Red Riding” trilogy is an easy recommendation but at the same time, you have to be warned about the intense violence and the horrific deadly depictions of young girls and women. These films are certainly not for the faint of heart. The constant gloom and darkness that surround the films is palpable and vividly imagined, creating such an atmosphere of dread and despair, it is hard to come out of each film feeling nothing but drained and heart-broken. Whether or not you like British noir or crime dramas, the “Red Riding” trilogy should be on everybody's must-see list."

You Know, For Kids! - THE HOLE 3D Review

Joe Dante, he of Gremlins and Small Soldiers fame, is pretty much the reigning king of this kind of movie, mostly because no one's made an effort to take his crown since he last made a family-oriented horror film. And in The Hole, we finally have someone using irksome technology in a really appealing way, to tell a really compelling story.

That story involves Lucas and Dane, two brothers who move into a new house with their mother, only to find a trapdoor in their basement that seemingly leads to a bottomless pit. Along with girl-next-door Julie, their natural first response is to goof around with it. But the abyss also gazes and puts the kids up against their worst fears as it tries to claim each of them.

By family-oriented horror, I'm really talking about entry-level horror, on the same wavelength as Doctor Who. The best thing about this type of horror is that it scares out the optimum response from its audience without trying too hard, as you'd think it would have to. You could collect up the amount of blood spilled in this entire film in a thimble, but it offers up far more scares and thrills than its supposedly adult counterparts, like Saw or Final Destination. 

Dante's aiming for the primal fears of childhood in his characters, whether irrational phobias, or more emotional fears, rooted in loss and childhood trauma. He doesn't trivialise the irrational though, actually giving ample reason for those fears rather than messing around with perspective to show how silly such a fear would be. Younger brother Lucas is terrified of clowns, for instance. By the end of the film, I'd be surprised if the majority of younger viewers weren't also terrified of clowns.

I mention Doctor Who, because it very much has the same target audience as this film. Anyone who enjoys being frightened by whatever nightmare fuel Steven Moffat has ignited each week will adore The Hole. It's not for the very youngest of children, but kids upwards of 8 years old will really go for this. The 12A certificate is pretty apt- this is definitely more extreme than PG-rated fare like Monster House or Coraline- but it's still suitable for some who wouldn't get in without their parents. It's a horror film for the whole family, and I'd even say it's worth shelling out for 3D tickets.

We've seen 3D used pretty superficially before now- if you want to quibble about other great examples, then I'll admit the flying scenes in How to Train Your Dragon were very good and no horror film has equalled the fun exploitation of the technology in My Bloody Valentine.  But here, Dante uses 3D to convey emotion. It's not beneath him to do the "throw stuff at the audience" gag, but it's always more intriguing when we see one of our heroes alone and afraid in the middle all that added depth James Cameron has been banging on about.

The only shortcomings of the 3D are reflective surfaces. It may seem like an odd niggle, but if you look at any given window or shiny object in this, it looks animated. There's presumably some confusing photographic reason for it, but it's occasionally distracting. There's also a bit of weirdly obvious ADR here and there too, marring otherwise great performances by the leads. Chris Massoglia and Nathan Gamble are believable siblings and Haley Bennett is probably going to be something of an adolescent crush du jour, like Phoebe Cates in Gremlins before her.

It's not exactly an illustrious field, but I also think it's the finest horror film of 2010. Indeed, it leaves one released just this week, Devil, in the shade. To directly compare for a moment, this has more jumps and tension in any given 10 minutes than Devil has in 80 minutes, and the catharsis of Shyamalan's film utterly undermines any fear factor that might have been there. Instead, Dante opts to make a film as much about the fear as about overcoming it, and it's supremely entertaining.

Maybe it's not quite as anarchic as Gremlins and Small Soldiers, but Joe Dante makes a very welcome return with The Hole. Mark L. Smith's script is part of the reason why we've got a more sentimental film, but that's not a mark against the film- it's never over-balanced by sentiment. I don't know how else to recommend it now that I've already said it's my favourite horror film of the year so far, and a 3D film that's worth the price of admission. There can be no higher praise! But it's dark, whimsical, and will spook viewers of all ages- everyone should check this out. 

The Hole 3D is now showing in 3D (duh) in cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen The Hole 3D, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? Hey, there's arguably more shame in being scared by a torture porn film than by this family film, so go see it, huh?

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Millennium Part 2- THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE Review

I finally caught up with the second part of the Millennium trilogy in cinemas after a few near-misses on my trips to the Tyneside Cinema. It eventually came to the local Cineworld, which was a nice change. The Girl Who Played With Fire, for those who don't know, is the sequel to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which I reviewed here earlier this year.

A year on from the Vanger case, Lisbeth Salander returns to Stockholm from travelling the world, and is promptly framed for a triple murder. She becomes the subject of a national manhunt, and one of the few who believes in her innocence is Blomkvist. He also believes the murders to be connected to a sex trafficking ring Millennium was about to expose, and tries to re-establish contact with Lisbeth as he investigates.

Since I reviewed the first film, it has been confirmed that Rooney Mara will play Lisbeth in David Fincher's English-language remake of the series, with Noomi Rapace having finished with the role to try and break into Hollywood as the female lead in Sherlock Holmes 2. After two films, it's all too clear that everyone involved in the remakes have their work cut out for them, if they want to come close to matching the quality of filmmaking on display from the Swedish versions.

The Girl Who Played With Fire is simultaneously a step forwards and backwards from its predecessor. In the way of many sequels, it raises the stakes exponentially and makes for a very gripping continuation. Unfortunately, the stakes are inflated to a point where it's almost difficult to recognise this as taking place in the same universe as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. This is mostly down to the presence of Niedermann, a seven foot tall Aryan antagonist who has the physiological quirk of being immune to pain.

In this way, it's ironic that Daniel Craig has signed on for Fincher's version, because the original seems to have been invaded by an old-timey Bond henchman. I'm waiting to read Stieg Larsson's books until after I've seen the films, but this introduction just seemed bizarre at first. I got past my initial surprise though, and I admit that Niedermann is an intimidating presence rather than a comical one, which only makes the last act revelation of a full-on disfigured sub-Bond villain more of a betrayal.

There's also a surfeit of the infamous teal and orange look that's becoming more and more prolific in Hollywood films, and I was astonished and annoyed to see colour grading used so liberally here. After seeing Niels Arden Oplev shoot the snowy vistas of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo so well, I'm not sure why new director Daniel Alfredson went the other way entirely- it's distracting.

Right, onto the step forward stuff. After the televisual pacing of the previous instalment, the enlarged stakes do help to make the story feel more cinematic. For all of the flaws I picked out above, it does grab your attention and clutch it all the way through. Noomi Rapace expands upon her initial performance as Lisbeth, proving that it was no fluke, and she's still the most watchable character. Michael Nyqvist gets a bit more to do this time around as Blomkvist, given more motivation by his intellectual infatuation with Lisbeth.

It's also admirable that this story expands to bring in new characters without ever forgetting the existence of minor characters from the last time around. We catch up with several characters from the first film and this continues in the slightly literary feel that made the first one so captivating. Without having read the books, I can tell that some of the dialogue is lifted straight from the prose, i.e. "It was like he'd had boxing lessons, but he hadn't really paid attention." While it often doesn't quite work when you lift wholesale from the source, in films like the first two Harry Potter adaptations, there's a rich sense of detail in the Millennium films that seems to have leapt right off the page.

It all builds to a conclusion that is both typical of the second act of a trilogy and boldly enticing. It ends with the same kind of hook for the final part of the trilogy that we've seen in The Empire Strikes Back or The Two Towers, but I'm damned if it didn't have me counting down the days until I can see the final film. The mystery at the heart of this film isn't so much self-contained as it is a connector between the introduction to the characters and the inevitably epic conclusion, and I can only express mild disappointment that it didn't end as definitively as the first film.

Like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire fumbles the resolution of its individual storyline, but in Lisbeth, these films have a central enigma far more intriguing than whatever criminal activities have aroused the interest of our players. Her continuing story is fascinating, aided by the fantastic Rapace, and this is exploited by keeping Blomkvist, the audience's viewpoint, separate from her for much of the film. This sequel is more or less on equal standing with its predecessor, but I'll judge the series as a whole once I've seen how it ends- with a whimper or with a bang.

The Girl Who Played With Fire is showing in selected cinemas nationwide. Part 3, The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest arrives in selected cinemas on November 25th.
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If you've seen The Girl Who Played With Fire, why not share your comments below? If you're thinking what I'm thinking, you're wondering if Richard Kiel will play Niedermann in the English language version, just for the LOLs.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Roasted Heirloom Tomato & Basil Soup with Orzo

What is an heirloom tomato, you might ask?
Well, by definition, an heirloom tomato is a variety of tomato that has been passed down through several generations of a family because of its valued characteristics. It is usually a variety that was introduced before 1940 or has been in circulation for more than 50 years. New heirlooms are also created by cross-pollinating two heirlooms or an heirloom and a hybrid to produce new seeds.

In recent years, heirloom tomatoes have become more readily available commercially. I recently acquired a few heirlooms from a local farm and decided to make some delicious tomato soup. Heirlooms are easily recognizable by their bigger size and also colorful characteristics (a mix of yellow, orange, pink and green). In this dish, I started by roasting 5 lbs of the tomatoes together with shallots, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper as shown below:

Heat the oven up to 350F and roast the tomatoes for approximately 45 minutes or until they are cooked like below:

Put all the contents from the roasting pan into a food processor, together with fresh basil leaves. Then run the processed liquid through a chinois stainless steel sieve to remove all the tomato pulp and skin. Take the filtered liquid, transfer it to a pot and add 1 quart of chicken broth/stock and 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar (4 tablespoons), bring to a boil and season with salt and pepper. And voila! There's your tomato and basil soup. I like to serve this dish with some orzo pasta and meatballs.

Going Down- DEVIL Review

Devil is the first of "The Night Chronicles", three stories conceived by the ever-disintegrating M. Night Shyamalan and then bequeathed to up and coming horror writers/directors. This one opens on a suicide, and according to religious lore, this is an event that gives the Devil a portal into human form, to hunt for the damned who have escaped him.

At some point or another, his host enters a skyscraper and hops into an elevator, which promptly breaks down and traps five people inside. A salesman, a security guard, an old lady, a socialite and a mechanic are stuck with each other- but while they all seem destined for Hell, which of them is the Devil in disguise?

It's a matter of public record that Shyamalan isn't exactly living up to his initial potential. All of that came to a head in The Last Airbender, resulting in widespread reports of people audibly groaning at the trailer for Devil when it pronounced itself as "a new nightmare from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan." Funnily enough, for a director once heralded as the new Hitchcock, this story makes for the most Hitchcockian film his name has been attached to, and he didn't even direct it.

Its central gimmick is reminiscent of something like Lifeboat, when it really needs the execution of something like Rope. Some small smidgen of suspense would be massively appreciated in a film that made me feel like I was watching it underwater. There are jump scares and plot twists and emotional moments, but none of them have any impact whatsoever, hence the feeling of being underwater.

Mostly, the detachment comes from the fact that we exit the elevator to show other characters rather than zeroing in on our trapped Satanic suspects. Indeed, the main character is arguably a detective who watches helplessly. He's played by Chris Messina, who gives the best performance in the film despite being saddled with the most predictable backstory. There's a great slimy turn from Geoffrey Arend too, but it's really nothing to remark upon.

The screenwriting credit on this one goes to Brian Nelson, who previously wrote Hard Candy. This makes me, like many others, call shenanigans on how much Shyamalan actually did. The script is full of his tics as a filmmaker- the stuff that's annoyed us in every single one of his films since Signs. In particular, the hilarity is ramped up by the presence of a Hispanic security guard who first brings up portents of "el diablo", seeing evil in the way a piece of toast lands on the carpet. M. Night almost certainly polished the script, even if in his case that means spitting on it and trying to shine it with the hem of his shirt.

What's that thing, you ask? Not a clue. And I've SEEN the film.

It's all just Fine, really. Fine with a capital F, because I am consciously damning the film with faint praise to say that it's merely fine, and some may yet find the same kind of entertainment they did in The Happening, for unintentional laughs. It ambles along without any tension or self-awareness, and many of its cheap scares don't even make any sense in the final resolution. Did something bite her? What was that behind the security guard? These are just some of the questions Devil will raise and then leave you to forget about on the way home.

Many of the film's establishing shots are upside down, which oddly enough reflects Shyamalan's skewed perspective on filmmaking these days. Devil ends up being an utterly inoffensive and smaller-scale version of Ten Little Indians, despite having the potential to be a lot more memorable and interesting. It's no reflection on director John Erick Dowdle, but on a story that is stretched even at 80 minutes, which would be more suited to a Twilight Zone episode, or a slot in an anthology horror film. I'd say it's really more of a thriller than a horror film, but then where are all the thrills?

Devil is now playing in cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen Devil, why not leave a comment on the film and/or my review? If you've recently dropped toast with the jelly facing down, I'd advise you not to call a priest or an exorcist or the Ghostbusters- no one really acts like the characters Shyamalan creates.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.