ON STRANGER TIDES- Pirates 4 Review

There's a strong argument, mostly being made by myself, that Pirates of the Caribbean- On Stranger Tides is the sequel we always should have had to the 2003 swashbuckler that started it all. I don't mean that it's the best sequel possible, but that it's following the formula of the Indiana Jones films by bringing back one or two characters from previous instalments and telling a new adventure, rather than going for cod-epic storytelling.

It's not completely without ties to the impenetrable mush of At World's End, as it picks up with Captain Jack Sparrow having seemingly given up on his search for the Fountain of Youth, on which we left him sailing into the sunset. As he arrives in England, it's revealed that an impostor is posing as Jack, with plans to recruit a crew and mount a search for the Fountain themselves. Jack is soon drawn into a race for eternal life, between a Spanish Armada, his old foe Captain Barbossa and the legendary Captain Blackbeard.

It's after watching this latest instalment that I realise I have a strange affinity with the series. The first one is unabashedly enjoyable, but there tends to be more debate on the quality of the two sequels, and with good reason. Heard of "Six Characters in Search of an Author"? The first three Pirates of the Caribbean films serve as "Three Films in Search of a Trilogy", with the convoluted ties to the first film and over-plotted action outright ruining the series for some point.

As for my own affinity, I don't dislike the series as certain other reviewers do. I recognise that At World's End is a load of bullshit, concerned with such contrived devices as "the ninth Piece of Eight" or whatever the hell that film was about, and that Dead Man's Chest didn't so much end as trail the third instalment. But on their own merits, I found things to enjoy in each of those movies. And so I suspect that while the consensus will be against On Stranger Tides, I found more to enjoy here than in the previous sequels.

That said, it still doesn't hold itself very well. It's a good half an hour shorter than the previous instalment, but that still makes it 137 minutes, when there's a much more enjoyable 100 minute film sitting within, waiting for an editor to piece it together. The action takes about 45 minutes to get going, and when it does, there's no real drive or thrust to the plot. My earlier comparison to Indy earlier on works here, as the hunt for the Fountain of Youth resembles the plot of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade at times, but while that film has one group of characters to root for, screenwriters Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio plump for a sprawling cast. Again.

Another of the problems carried over from its immediate predecessors in the series is the lack of a villain. Geoffrey Rush is the best thing in this one, but his Captain Barbossa, so brilliant an antagonist on the first outing, has long since become more of an anti-hero. In this one, he's even a privateer for the English, albeit with ulterior motives. I suppose the de facto antagonist here is Blackbeard, played by an underused Ian McShane. As usual then, it resorts to having the characters argue a lot and double-cross one another.

Rob Marshall replaces Gore Verbinski in the director's chair, but it's Elliot and Rossio who need to be ushered out, because they just never seem to get to the point. For instance, there's a scene in which a character is forced to jump off a cliff, to an uncertain fate. Before that character eventually jumps, we have a refusal, some argument, emotional blackmail, a ridiculously redundant Russian Roulette set-up and a bit of hoodoo, before the character just jumps anyway. And don't get me started on Keith Richards.

They also seem to have no sense of timing, as writers. If you pay attention to the dialogue, you realise that the plot takes place over a fortnight. After a great opening sequence set in London, the progression of time is thus- one scene in daylight, and then an extended setpiece at night. Most of this movie takes place in the dark, which not only makes the sunny Caribbean settings pointless, but also probably makes for great viewing in super-dim 3D. I stuck with 2D, personally, though I concede I was sort of impressed by the 3D in the trailers for the film.

I enjoyed On Stranger Tides enough that I really want to say good things about it, so I shall. Johnny Depp shows no signs of getting bored in the lead role, and if you're not bored of him playing it either, he's still a lot of fun to watch as Captain Jack. Some of the action is a little repetitive, four films in, but there are two really good setpieces at the beginning and at the midpoint. I think I'd personally have opened the film on the latter, which is an excellently constructed scene that establishes the film's take on mermaids. Then again, I'd also have got it done in 100 minutes.

Pirates of the Caribbean- On Stranger Tides marks a partial return to the entertaining form of The Curse of the Black Pearl, but as with latter instalments, it is still slightly discordant. To refer to Pirandello again, it's like Six Subplots in Search of a Movie, because there's not much to the McGuffin that's supposed to actually unite the strands. I found it enjoyable, but it did string out my enjoyment across the laborious running time. For some, it will be a step too far, if your enjoyment has been strung out since the first film, but it's still a step in the right direction. Let's have a change in the writing department next time though.

Pirates of the Caribbean- On Stranger Tides is now showing in 2D and 3D at cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen Pirates of the Caribbean- On Stranger Tides, why not share your comments below?

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

THE KING'S SPEECH- Review

There's a certain type of film that comes out around awards season, and The King's Speech broadly fits into it. I don't mean British period drama, a sub-set that seems to fascinate Americans and particularly Academy voters, but a film that markets historical events to its audience with the same maniacal fervour as Bill Murray's network executive hocks his version of A Christmas Carol in Scrooged. ("They have got to be so scared to miss it, so terrified!")

The story itself concerns Prince Albert, the Duke of York, and his problems with a debilitating speech impediment. His sympathetic wife seeks slightly unorthodox help for Albert from a jobbing Australian actor called Lionel Logue, and the two make some progress together as they strike up an uneasy friendship. Matters escalate however when Albert is suddenly bumped up a couple of places in the line of succession to the throne. As war looms over Europe, Britain needs a king who can speak straight...

Two years ago, the first new film I saw in 2009 was Slumdog Millionaire. It ended up being my favourite film of the year. Danny Boyle's next film is also released this week, but after going into The King's Speech with some scepticism about its awards-worthiness, I came out worried that 2011 may have similarly peaked already. The King's Speech is fantastic, dazzling, brilliant and whatever other superlatives you can conjure up. I realise I erroneously predicted The Lovely Bones would stay in my memory as one of the best of 2010, this time last year, but let me explain what makes this one so good.

I'm not a big fan of period dramas set in Eng-Land (run at it the same way as Kevin Costner runs at "Notting-Ham" in Robin Hood- Prince of Thieves), especially of those in the Shakespeare In Love caste- films that shop shamelessly to the Academy voters and ultimately aren't anything special. I can't say I've often found compelling drama in the lives of privileged and entitled characters, and it's for that reason that last year's much-acclaimed Downton Abbey passed me by completely. The King's Speech is actually a tale of empowerment in which the protagonist is the future King of England, and I adored it.

The Damned United director Tom Hooper has rightly got everyone's attention with his second big film, bringing a distinctive and very stylish directorial look to the feature, and allowing all of the separate parts of the whole to breathe, from Alexandre Desplat's lovely score to Eve Stewart's sumptuous production design. Crucially, he's prepared to show off his highly talented cast and let them get on with their work to the very best of their abilities, as each of them continues to up their game whenever sharing the screen with a colleague.

Most obviously, we see that in the dynamic between Colin Firth as the King in waiting and Geoffrey Rush as his irreverent therapist. Firth gives a phenomenal turn that never screams "Just give me the Oscar now", but conveys pretty much the same message. It's not only in his entirely believable stammer, but in how utterly sympathetic his plight is. With great pathos, he dominates scenes where we see the full extent of his affliction- he can't even read a bedtime story to his young children without tripping over his words, such are his nervous issues.

Rush forms one of the great screen bromances with him as Logue, and his scenes with Firth largely occur in long, almost theatrical two-hander scenes that are always the highlight of the film. Much of his own struggle is in bringing the already nervous Albert down a notch or two without completely destroying his confidence. These men must become equals. As mentioned, these two actors make each other's performances better simply by being there.

Yeah, it's a crowd-pleaser, in much the same way as Slumdog Millionaire was when it impressed me so early in 2009, but so what? It doesn't mean it can't be great. You're part of a crowd, aren't you? Take a chance that this one will please you, at least, rather than whatever other films crowds will flock to this year! I didn't go into this one particularly expecting to be impressed, but the overwhelming thing about the film is how much it makes you care, and how quickly it ingratiates you in the characters and the setting. It's got a great sense of humour, great performances, great cinematography and rarest of all, it has Helena Bonham Carter looking human for a change, for what feels like the first time since before she married Tim Burton.

It takes a cynical mindset, more cynical than even my own, to come out of The King's Speech feeling like it was pandering or cloying or false, and these are all things I halfway expected going in. It's going to pick up a clutch of awards, at the BAFTAs, if not at the Oscars, and it deserves every one. It's a film that's determinedly winsome and inclusive, and it's the consistently feel-good film that everyone actually claimed Slumdog was. I'm not declaring it the film of the (very young) year right now, for obvious reasons, but I will say this- if 2011 gets much better, I'm in for a hell of a good 12 months at the cinema.

The King's Speech is showing in cinemas nationwide from Friday.
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If you've seen The King's Speech, why not share your comments below? If you remember to take your Harry Potter spotter's guide, you'll pick up a whole bunch of stars from the films- Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Dalton, Michael Gambon

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.

Ninjas. Damn! - THE WARRIOR'S WAY Review

We've been here before, last year with Blood: The Last Vampire, at the beginning of this year with Ninja Assassin, and now Hollywood once again takes a flying kick at integrating all that is awesome about martial arts cinema with The Warrior's Way. On the plus side, it's a Western!

Yang is our single Oriental protagonist this time around- a swordsman arriving in a derelict frontier town that used to be a successful circus. He carries a baby girl with him, the last survivor of an enemy clan that Yang otherwise slaughtered. Taking mercy on the child, he's hiding out in America, but his Sad Flute clan isn't best pleased that he has defied and deserted him. On top of everything else, the sadistic Colonel is coming back to the circus he destroyed several years prior, and a confrontation of epic proportions looks all but certain.

To be fair, The Warrior's Way is a better film that either of those mentioned above. It's a Western, so that's a given. It's especially coming from the perspective of a writer and director who is not American, Sngmoo Lee. This means his influences are Sergio Leone, and he brings a decent ladling of surrealism into that too. The trouble is that the Hong Kong sensibility of martial arts cinema is like a jigsaw piece that won't fit into American movies, no matter how hard Hollywood presses down on it.

This leaves much of the surreal promise unfulfilled, falling back on clichés from both the east and the west rather than surprising anyone. For starters, the single best line of the film, delivered by Geoffrey Rush's alcoholic gunslinger as ninja sentinels position themselves on every building in the rundown town, ready to rain hell down on everyone else, isn't even in the film. His pitch-perfect intonation of "Ninjas. Damn!" was the only thing that sold me on this film, and it wasn't even in there.

Rush is probably the high point in a cast that consists of Dong-gun Jang being about as expressive as a sleeping Keanu Reeves, Kate Bosworth doing a less capable impression of Jessie from the Toy Story films as a vengeful knife-flinging cowgirl and Tony Cox as a sideshow midget. And it's not really played for laughs. The nadir is Danny Huston as the Colonel. It's no wonder that most of the backgrounds are CGI, with the scenery presumably left chewed beyond repair at the rehearsal stage. His pantomime villain turn is a low point in his career, and this is someone who was in Wolverine.

There's no real tension in having a character who is "The Greatest Swordsman In The History Of Mankind Ever", as the film terms it with some of that unfulfilled oddness, being hunted by people we know are his inferiors. It makes it all the more dissatisfying when this one ends in a very similar fashion to those other two movies- with copious extraneous flashback sequences breaking up a master-apprentice confrontation into even less satisfying chunks.

In a year that also saw the Horse with No Name make his directing debut on the gloriously inept Western Jonah Hex, The Warrior's Way can only look better by comparison, with all of its gumption and cinematic literacy. Howver, just like Yang as he trains knife-throwing Lynne in the way of the sword, it feels like it's holding back- as though something better is being formulated off-screen. It might have involved the line "Ninjas. Damn!" It can be appreciated as a Western, but if I were you, I'd really wait for True Grit in the New Year.

The Warrior's Way is now showing in cinemas nationwide.
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If you've seen The Warrior's Way, why not share your comments below? If you remember Ninja Assassin being as little fun as I remember it, stay well away.

I'm Mark the mad prophet, and until next time, don't watch anything I wouldn't watch.